Monday, July 19, 2010

First EVA time in public as a Brunette,,well not really..

So seriously.... what the hell am I doing letting this hair thang get to me so bad when someone is on the way over this week to buy my beloved couch Sandi?? That's a REAL issue!! What kind of couch ceremony shall I have? Will I cry in front of these poor unsuspecting people?? They have already asked what else is for sale. I just have to make sure I accurately price the children.. I'm OK with being a brunette,, I think (laughing).. And maybe the pain from the sale of the children will subside in a few hours.. But will I EVER get over the couch being gone?? Who knows.. I have to pull strength from somewhere.. Possibly I can take $9.99 from the couch sale, to buy a mascara and eat a whole jar of green Olives. You heal your way, I'll heal mine.

The State of Florida has finally decided that doing a "medically necessary" surgery is a good idea because "it's medically necessary". I am doing some preliminary testing soon to see exactly what's going on and the extent of the mauling. This invariably includes drinking a weird looking plastic container of tar, bearing my ass for shots (pictures that is, it's a nice ass and I am poor..) and letting the "Freddy Krueger" long finger nailed nurses take blood. I don't give blood very well, it is almost always taken from me.

This morning at 4AM I heard the familiar rumblings of my son Traxx. Well,, it was more like a hiccup-whine-cough-hiccup-whine-cough noise instead of a rumbling. Traxx gives this unmistakable clue prior to gakking. I AM lucky because it gives me enough time to jump out of bed, crack my head open on the door jamb, step on an inverted Matchbox car, grab the up-chuck-bucket from under the sink and stub my toe before the first power puke wave hits. This is very kind of him!! After a few of his waves, I start my sympathetically inspired puke display with him in the now putrid up-chuck-bucket (because I am sexy that way). 10 minutes later he is bouncing around like a chia pet, totally freaking healed!! (Ok,, so this was a bad idiom, Chia pets don't bounce, I'll reverse it and start over).. !!delaeh gnikaerf yllatot ,tep iahc a ekil dnuora gnicnuob si eh retal setunim o1... (see it never happened, enjoy the NEW and IMPROVED idiom)..10 minutes later he was bouncing around like a chia pet... in a dryer, totally freaking healed!! (better right??) So whilst I was STILL puking (now accompanied with a throbbing headache and a less than princessy attitude) and STILL cleaning up his mess,, he wants breakfast and entertainment. His price TOTALLY just went down!!

I always write the best posts in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. And even though I can't sleep,, I mostly will just lay there,, still "brain writing" instead of getting up and actually typing it for you.. I realize now what a shame this is.. I am taking away much joy and excitement from the blogosphere---NAY from the WORLD!!! Because I never remember what I thought was so cool to write about that it kept me awake.. SO,, Because I can't give a money back guarantee for my sucky posts I decided that each follower should have some kind of warranty that my posts will be good. So I have developed the following coupon for you:


You're Welcome!!

10 Seducing Deductions:

mac said...

Hey, you make a fine looking brunette !

I'm not so sure about looking great in the puke bucket stage, but I imagine you were cute before and after ;-)

Gucci Mama said...

You are gorgeous! I do my best writing in my brain in the middle of the night when I can't sleep too. I always think it's a shame I never quite make it to get up and actually record my brilliance for the masses. Sigh.

Hope everyone feels better!

Anonymous said...

gorgeous does not cover it and fine would not even come close. I think your new color makes you look sexy wild.... I know maybe not the right words but boy oh boy you should see the reaction... I mean, well you know what I mean I'm sure... right?

IT said...

What I write always looks better in my brain than it does on the screen or paper.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Mac- Thanks!! I am sure a puke bucket looks bad on everyone..well..maybe not Angelina..but pretty much everyone else..

Gucci- Love the new profile pic....Minxy!!! ;). He's better, you know how they do that, sick, and then not thing..I'm getting a little better now thanks, maybe it was something we ate...sigh.

Sir-Blush---No stop,,tossing hair....;}

It-Here too, wonder why that is...grrrr

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Yeh, you look so good in that pic that I had to send you an email about it. Like Pat Benetar in those great videos. Meow. And I have yet to use one of your coupons for bad posts. Not a bum in the lot.

Oh and before you sell the kids I would suggest you 'lease to own' them to potential buyers. You will make more over the long run.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Hey, you hot beauty! Your posts never suck. The state of Florida, on the other hand -
Lots of you to you!

Powdered Toast Man said...

I will never have to redeem that coupon. I have never read a post on here that sucks.

Are you going to draw a chalk outline on the floor after Sandi is picked up?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Blonde is over rated anyhoo

The Invisible Seductress said...


RRG- Yep, I'm feeling the State of Florida's suckometer right now!! hugs back Sis!!

PTM-laughing...Loved the chalk outline idea,, put it in my new post...wink!!

Daft- That's right!!! smiling!!! But you got that pretty red I want!!! sniffle

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