Thursday, January 6, 2011 case you were wondering what the "manly" purple unicorn from my last post looked like....



Hobo girl say WHAT??????...and a very manly purple unicorn story..

Oh, my... I wanted to be missed as I wander in to this library, peeping in on all of my blog buddies who seem to have moved on without me. What, wait, how could they??? I mean really WHO could NOT miss ramblings about Circus Peanut Farmers and my lack of sex with anything I mean anyone,I mean anywho? What? See....this is PRICELESS STUFF FOLKS!

Things in Seductressville have been quite interesting, as soon as I grasp on to a tiny ledge, my foothold slips and I tumble down to the cold water filled with shaving cream and floating hot dog buns. (Or maybe that was just the time I dreamt I was on Wipeout, that was a fun, fun night, I had relations with a Unicorn, or maybe that was the night I dreamt of all of you circling me while holding hands and sitting cross legged, painted entirely in blue and swaying in a sulty unison with all the other naked "Avatar" natives. We were playing a weird game of row-row-row your boat when you all presented me with a VERY manly purple Unicorn named Angus, that has a Seductress fetish and dons reins made out of red twizzlers.)

..what do you dream of?

But to be quite cereal with you, I have had good news,, please sing the following phrase in your best Celine Dion voice:

A job, A real life job!!!!

After getting sick of being overlooked for a Lending job because of my medical bills (even though they did not check the report, only got the score) I called the Human Resource office and told them that they would really be missing out on talent if they did not at least call me in for an interview to show them why they needed me. (I then went and threw up because I had had enough stress for the day and I thought I may have sounded rude or arrogant)

She said: "It was your tenacity that secured the first interview!"

I say: "It was the sparkles that got me the job!!"

Housing is still a huge problem, I will have to be patient and just be the best behaved sparkly Hobo girl for now. And soon I will save enough for all the security deposits and such. But I now am able to see the light at the end of the perverbial tunnel, (or maybe that was just when I was dreaming I was being abducted (and I DO mean abducted) by aliens named SamSung at the end of a funky disco lazer display while it ACTUALLY snowed, snowcap candy. I stood for hours with my mouth open collecting them like snowflakes on my tongue until the leader "SungSam" came and tied me up to a jar of peanut butter (it wasn't even jif, the horror!!) and dipped my toes in jelly (yes, Smuckers, OF COURSE! What else would they use?). They then had a "peanut butter" filled "paint ball" contest.

....The alien that covered each sweet spot,,,,, won.....BREAD, and a date with me to utilize it..

I'm gonna go take a nap now.

I miss you all. So until I can sneak into a library again after a "hooker bath", I wish for all the women, a fantastic manly purple unicorn day!! And to the men,, a suggestion

Buy purple paint and twizzlers soon please!!