The letter "R" stole my childhood!!

SAY IT AGAIN!!!!

I was born in Pennsylvania. That's pretty far North, at least the last time I looked. We moved around a bit and ended up in the South. But I kept something from the North with me after we moved. The lack of skill or desire to properly enunciate the letter "R". You see, I am with the folks from Bahston on this one. I prefer to "Pahk my Cah" instead of "parking" it. I can't help it. If it were up to me "Q" would follow "S" and "R" would be a "sometimes" letter similar to how "Y" is being whored out in the VOWEL line up.

See how sad the letter "Y" looks here???


The letter "Y" is always getting screwed!!


***More on the unethical treatment of the letter "Y" later***

I heart the fact that Elmer Fudd refuses to EVEN use the letter "R",, in fact,, he makes the letter "W" interchangeable with it. Genius!

"My HEWO"

I was swiftly kicked in the ass and sent directly to Speech Therapy once I made it down South. These days they would not put you in therapy for an accent, but back then they thought they needed to "fix" me. And fix me they did! Now I have a distinct southern drawl and still stumble over my "R's".

So now,,,,,, I can "Pahk my Cah,, Y'all!"

The kids these days mispronounce and slang everything up. Is there a speech therapy class for that? In a song my kids were listening to, I heard a spitting rap interlude where the rapper said:

"If you don't believe me, ask Mmomanem....".

OK, so is this a break out new rap artist who used?? Eminem as a muse for his name?

What exactly is a Mmomanem?

Let me introduce you to
my professor in SLANG ARTS:


"MsDebate"
..ain't she cute!!

(tapping chalkboard for your attention)

Slang Dunce: What in the Halibut is a "Mmomanem"??

MsDebate: "Mmomanem" means: Ask my mom and them......What's wrong with YOU? YOU can't hear that??

Slang Dunce: (raises hand politely) Really???? Are you being cereal????
(see what I did there??? Cereal/serious....I slay me...I mean really..ahaha....)

MsDebate: (fake laughs at my verbal joke drawing attention to the fact that it was pretty lame)

**Class Dismissed**

So now DramaGirl is in speech therapy because SHE has a problem with her "R's" also.. (Well played letter "R",,, well played!! That damn letter continues to haunt me!!)..

But here's the thing,,, she LOVES speech therapy!!! They play games and watch movies and eat candy and sing and tell jokes and,,, and,,, and ,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

Dammit,,,, REALLY?????!!!!

This is NOTHING like what her Mmomanem did in speech therapy!!

As much as I am happy for her in that she is LOVING the class,, I feel slighted because my speech therapy was torture! We actually got called "RETARDED",, well,, I got called "TARDED" 'cause I couldn't pronounce the "R" which meant I was too "TARDED" for the "RE"........sigh..........

My speech therapy instructor praised us in monotone similar to how the farmer praised the pig in the movie "Babe"...That poor pig could have made gasoline out of his own spit..

....... and the farmer would still send out a dry:

"That'll do PIG..... That'll do....."

My speech therapy experience consisted of sitting on a red chair, on a red circular braided rug, in the middle of the class, and doing vocal exercises, whilst the teacher stood to my right with a ruler and an attitude..

Over an hour of:

R-R- R- R- R- R- R- R- R- R

Raaa-Rooo-Reee-Raaa-Rooo-Reee-Raaa-Rooo-Reee

Teacher: Say "R"!

Me: uhhhhh, "R" ?

Teacher: very well.. Now say "URL"!!

Me: "URL" ...."URL"!!

Teacher: fine.. say: CuRleRRR

Me: CUHLAH? (smiles meekly cause I knows I did wrong)

Teacher: (FWAP--- ruler abuse)....*sighs*

DO IT AGAIN!!!!!

Me: *sighs*

R-R- R- R- R- R- R- R- R- R

Raaa-Rooo-Reee-Raaa-Raaa-Rooo-Reee-Raaa

I'd like to meet up with that speech instructor and....

...... put a foot up HER ....ARSE!!!!!

But....... Whateva'....... I'm not Bitta'

On another note..........

Please support
your local chapter of:

The "Y-no-Y" Foundation


- NO -

The "Y-no-Y" Foundation was organized to fight for the equal rights and ethical treatment of the letter "Y". We must stop the blatant snubbing of this letter from the other members of the alphabet. The letter "Y" deserves to fit in, it is currently falling through the verbal cracks and being defined as "usually" a consonant along with the letter "W" ,,,, and only "sometimes" a vowel.

The letter "Y" deserves an identity all it's own and the "Y-no-Y" foundation strives to achieve that lofty goal and Y-Y-Y-YOU can help!!!

By the way folks:

Today is the last day to qualify for the "100 Post Giveaway"!!! So COMMENT!!!

Each comment counts as one entry and I will draw from a hat,,,, the winner will get a piece of my stained glass artwork, painted especially for you and..... You can choose the design....cause that is how I roll, Yo!!!

Good Luck and I hope someone actually wants this prize....*shrugs*