Monday, April 12, 2010

Random Thoughts-would you like fries with that?

Welcome to:

**The thoughts an ideas expressed in this post do not necessarily make sense..
..Adult supervision is STRONGLY suggested..
..Do not try this at home..
..The Invisible Seductress is a professionally trained mental patient on a closed course**

-------------------------Cut here-------------------------
Scissors Pictures, Images and Photos
...and then RUN with the scissors!!!
Do it!!!

1 out of 4 women can not read a pregnancy test. It would be scary to be that 1 woman out of the 4,, as navigating through life would be very difficult. If you were that 1 out of the 4,, would you be smart enough to KNOW that YOU WERE the 1 out of the 4 women that the commercial is referencing and purchase the pregnancy test that has been specifically dumbed down for you?

you will be stupid Pictures, Images and Photos

I have been watching the show "I (almost) got away with it". I am transfixed on how these criminals are living better than I am while being a fugitive of the law for so long. I will continue watching this show just in case I need to (almost) get away with something.

shuffleboard Pictures, Images and Photos

Adult bladder protection commercials confuse me. The people are dancing and having a wonderful time doing the jitterbug or playing shuffle-board. I don't think I could dance and have a wonderful time doing the jitterbug OR playing shuffle-board if I soiled myself. I need to feel sexy while I do the jitterbug and play shuffle-board. Somehow,,, this problem doesn't seem conducive to feeling sexy.

A woman on Maury brought 8 men on the show to discover who was the father of one of her posse of children. I don't think the paternity of your children should play out like a Scooby Doo Mystery. You should unmask your lovers BEFORE you sleep with them. You wouldn't want those meddling kids to break in while you are having sex,,, that would make for an awkward episode.

If we think something smells awful, why do we feel compelled to share this with someone else. We already know it is a bad olfactory experience. Why bring someone else into it. If you were here, would you smell it with me? That would make you a true friend.

don't taste Pictures, Images and Photos
Oh,,, and this tastes like crap,,, taste it,,, no really,,, TASTE IT!!!....

sad face!!!!!!! Pictures, Images and Photos

I have a pair of badly ripped underwear. I think there is only a waist band and 1 leopard spot left. When my washing machine is broken (sigh) or my "Superior Domestication" switch is on the fritz, I come upon them in the drawer. I feel relieved that they are there as a final option for me and marvel at my dedication to them. Someday I will throw them away or they will disintegrate on their own. That will be a sad day for me. The thought gets me all misty eyed. Please hold me.

jealous Pictures, Images and Photos

My washing machine floods my kitchen every few weeks. My kitchen is a long galley type kitchen with linoleum floors. When it floods, me and the kids use the kitchen as a slip-n-slide. I bet YOU never had an indoor slip-n-slide ........(Jealous much?).

Atomic bomb Pictures, Images and Photos
Image may be SLIGHTLY exaggerated.

Why is it that every time I use baby powder I act like it is already open and invert the container and shake it? Then when I realize it's NOT open, I open it and get my face "dust bombed". You would think I would remember this is going to happen,,, as I consider myself somewhat intelligent.

go to jail Pictures, Images and Photos

I really, really want a Thermapedic mattress. I also have been really, really fighting the urge to become a shoplifter. I figure I need to work my way up to the mattress. The other day I ate a grape in the supermarket and walked out. There was a great adrenalin rush but I did not like always having to look over my shoulder, so before I got to the car, I walked back in the store. Apparently you can not buy one grape. I am still "On the lam".

(Don't tell anyone about this blog.....)

11 Seducing Deductions:

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Wow, this was like a big box of assorted chocolates. Wonderful post, my friend. Yes, why do we women hang on to thos ripped, ancient pairs of granny underwear. Perhaps that's what we're doing wrong.

jinksy said...

Would it be too sensible to suggest investigating cause of washing machine flood, in the hopes of averting future disaster?! LOL :)

IT said...

I dunno what to say... well, yeah, I do, but I can't think of a decent superlative to express how much I enjoyed this post... after I changed my underwear.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I love all the randomness. I would sooo smell the funky thing you have, I do it all the time. I love the sun and rainbow pic, hilarious.

Thanks for joining Just the Cheese.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Rrg-Laughing....maybe...sigh....mmmmm chocolate.......hug...

Jinsky-They "fixed"it 3 times....but I guess I gotta keep trying..its expensive :(...hugs made me feel all warm inside.. :)...what words??? laughing

PTM-love your site!!! Thanks for having me!!! hugs and laughs!!!

f1trey said...

sorry bout the teeth marks on the underwear..... my bad...

Blasé said...

You watch Maury and shoplift??

I really, REALLY need to keep you under my lock and key...

oh yeah, I've got your "hug" right...HERE!

Anonymous said...

I love how you notice some of these things and make the observation that they are wrong, wierd, odd. Sometimes I've just started anticipating "stupid" from commercials, and don't think much about it. Keep up the good work. It keeps me on my toes and help me to be a detective of "dumb"! Except for the underwear and baby powder -- now that's just funny! ...and everybody eats a grape.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

These are my favorite kind of posts that anyone can do. Just clearing up the clutter in the mind and putting things in piles to be looked at a later time.

I saw a guy on TV today say he was not guilty of stealing his ex girlfriend's TV because he was robbing someone else at the time. I am inclined to believe he had nothing to do with the theft of the appliance in question.

What is with this whole peeing yourself just 'a little' as you get older. I got THAT to look forward to now along with the erection that lasts more than four hours because I took too many Cialis? Getting old sucks. How can you even get UP to jitterbug?

You need that friend to confirm a smell because if you are the only one smelling it that means one of two things. Either you have lost the ability to recognize your own foul odors or you are just imagining fake smells which is just a whole new set of problems you don't need to be dealing with.

Now taste is something all together different. I will always trust your opinion. "Taste this" always turns out worse than "Smell This"

Have confidence that you don't need to wear underwear if you have none. No one will bust you on it unless you sneeze and pee 'just a little'. Let them go. They served honorably.

There is a reason you never CLOSE the powder. It's not like it's going to dry up if exposed to the air. That's how they GETCHA!

It's people like you who are makig me lose full value for the grapes I have bought. I know some are missing. I can tell. You don't deserve to live in a civilization with decent folks. The mattress I can forgive, even encourage but a grape theif has contempt for us all. Thats why we can never have anything nice.

The Savage said...

Bad girl, go to my room...

The Invisible Seductress said...

Trey-Laughing it adds to the sentimental value...

Blase-I need you!!!

Jan-I am feeling better about my grape thefting...thank you!!! hugs

Cal-I am feeling bad about my grape thefting response was hilarious!!

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