Saturday, April 10, 2010

Saturday Seductress...DENIED!!!!!!!!

Today is:

April 10 2010
There are 265 days left in 2010

April is:
Holy Humor Month
Church Lady Pictures, Images and Photos
Church Pictures, Images and Photos
Dang it!

April 4-10 is:

Hate Week
I hate you all pickle Pictures, Images and Photos
I do!!...No really..and Green Olives and Pickled Okra!


but... April 11-17 is:
National Karaoke Week
One final karaoke night. Pictures, Images and Photos
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!!


April 10Th is:
Love Our Children Day
children love Pictures, Images and Photos
Cumulative AWWWW

..it is also:
Every Day Is Earth Day Day
(which makes NO sense right??
'cause then it's not "special")

Earth Pictures, Images and Photos


PLEASE CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY



Yesterday I took my children to a crowded restaurant. I was being responsible and feeding them. There is some rule that dictates that I must feed my children. Sometimes I live by the rules. Other days I throw caution to the wind and starve them. They don't seem to notice because apparently when you are duct taped to the back wall of a closet you have other things on your mind (but that's only on Thursdays,, don't judge me).

Early into the dining experience, I was given some pertinent information from my 9 year old daughter DramaGirl.

This is a written narrative of that conversation, please enjoy:


List Of Characters:

DramaGirl-DG
Princess Me-PM (you don't have to bow to me, unless you are commanded)

(Insert Clinking-clanging-mumbled talking-and miscellaneous restaurant background noise here)


DG- If you are over 30, I don't think you should make-out!

It's crazy on a good day... Pictures, Images and Photos
exaggerated facial expression of shock

PM- Huh?? Why is that??

DG- It's gross!!

PM- Really, How would you know??

**older sibling laughter***mixed with table next to us and busboy laughter**

**silence**

**table next to us and busboy silence**to aid in eavesdropping escapade on the impromptu "Kids say the DARNDEST things" episode happening at my table***


DG- I mean you should not FRENCH KISS (said with the sour lemon face)

PM- Oh, I see......and why is that again??

DG- 'Cause you don't know where THEIR tongue has been and you are TOO OLD for that!!

DG- Your like 40,,,, RIGHT MOM????

It's crazy on a good day... Pictures, Images and Photos
NOT exaggerated facial expression of shock


*Eavesdropper LAUGHTER*

PM-........I'm $39.95 actually!!!

*Eavesdropper LAUGHTER... AGAIN*

PM- (said in my best "I am infinitely wiser than you" tone) WELL,,,, wouldn't someone OVER 30 be more cautious with what they lick? Wouldn't it be safer (per say) to kiss a more responsible person rather than a younger silly Lint Licker?

DG- Hmmmmm.... TOUCHE Mom,,,, Touche.....So,,, I'll just stick to the IT'S GROSS theory then........Old people should just hold hands...AND THAT'S IT!!!

At our departure from:
"DINNER AND A SHOW"
Dramagirl spots people "over 30" kissing on a bench in front of restaurant

DG-......CASE CLOSED MOM!!!



Well it's a good damn thing I am under 30!!!
(hiding from the lightening)

I just thought you should know in case you are breaking this rule of etiquette!!

You gross bunch of Lint Lickers!!!!!!!!!

Kissing Lips Pictures, Images and Photos

14 Seducing Deductions:

The Savage said...

Well now.... Isn't that special....
It's okay to kiss when you're over thirty as long as its not with.... hmmmmmm....... SATAN!

IT said...

I kinda remember once having all of the answers too. If it's like this at nine, what's 16 gonna be like.

*Snork*

The Invisible Seductress said...

Savage=Laughing---it is special--You do a great church lady!!! :)....muah

It-oh no----not wanting to think about that..

Snork- x's 10!!! ;}

BamaTrav said...

Wait....that sounds more like the conversation we had....are you blaming it on the kids now? ;)

Dutch donut girl said...

Bwhaha!
But holding hands doesn't make your toes curl.

"when you are duct taped to the back wall of a closet you have other things on your mind".
I'm calling the police on you.

Crunk said...

I'm under thirty so pucker up! *smooch*

The Invisible Seductress said...

Bama-easier to blame them,,,,eh.....

DDg- Please don't tell on me...I'll bake you cookies.......

Crunk- muah muah muah

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Your kids are a fun loving hilarious crew. I love the church posting.
Hugs,
Robyn
PS Thanks for that quote about men and parking lots. Sadly, so true. But we shall overcome the odds and meet our dream men who are just a smidgen over 30 perhaps but willing to do more than hold hands - never in front of kids, at least not your kids.

Billie J said...

hillarious.. the church is gonna be pissed.

The Invisible Seductress said...

RR-Hugs back R...Our guys are out there somewhere scratching themselves...wait..that didn't sound too hot...sigh...upping standards...wink

Billie-Hope the church is not pissed at me...I'm a good kid!!! hugs!!!

Secretia said...

It's not possible to hide much from a nine year old these days, it's like they are 16 already!

Ca88andra said...

Geesh I'm well and truly over "making out" age then! lol - my boys just think the thought of anyone "old" having sex is gross... "old" being over 30 too!

mac said...

Yes I am.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Secretia- I do think they are smarter than me sometimes...sigh

Ca88andra-It's a sad thing that people as beautiful as us have to age...sigh...laughing..hugs

Mac- YOU AM!!!! I am sure you are well under 30 and certainly not licking lint!!!!!

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