Monday, April 26, 2010

Action in my Lair......WOO HOO............

mtv cribs Pictures, Images and Photos

When MTV came to my house to film a special episode called:

"SEDUCTRESS CRIBS"

...they wanted me to show my bedroom, pat my elaborate bed and seductively say:

"This is where ALL the "MAGIC" happens!!"

So after stocking my fridge with Crist-AL....

CRISTAL CHAMPAGNE Pictures, Images and Photos

and the baby pool with pretty, pretty Partay people:

Poseidon Pictures, Images and Photos

(actually, it was very short notice)


fun in the baby pool Pictures, Images and Photos
*sigh*



I had to explain to MTV that if by "MAGIC" they meant:

..staring at the ceiling fan blades wondering HOW THE HALIBUT I neglected to dust that ONE freaking blade last time,,, then yes......

"MAGIC"!!

No one has been in the Seductresses lair for quite some time, which means the Thermapedic Mattress Topper (NOT MATTRESS,,,, SIGH) can envelope me from the direct middle of the bed. (also, shouldn't the Thermapedic people be sending me a free mattress for all this free advertisement?)

Middle of the bed lounging....
AHHHHHHH
(jealous much?)
(didn't think so...)

No MAN FLANK has been there to reconstitute my dehydrated womanhood.

You can tell this is painfully true because I just said:

"No MAN FLANK has been there to reconstitute my dehydrated womanhood"

(And that just sounds WRONG!!!)

But this would all change...... Sunday Night!!!

.......My bed would see ACTION!!!!!!!

Because.............

Sunday night a string of thunderstorms rolled through Central Florida. We were having Tornado watches and warnings and many cows asked for my assistance in tethering them to fences and posts around the community. It was a noisy affair!

My son fell asleep with no problems as I sent the girls to bed and sat to watch Celebrity Apprentice, because Donald Trump's hairstyle ALWAYS surprises me.. (No, not really).

A few moments into my "The house is quiet, make funny faces and be happier than I really should be time" time,,,,, it abruptly ended.

Seems the thunder and lightening scared the Snickety out of my young daughters and I was the only remedy. And Snickety coming out of TWO TWEENS at 10:19PM on a Sunday night is kinda like when someone flushes the toilet whilst you are in the shower and you do that painfully awkward, back archy, arm flail and squeal thing.

So,,, it was decided that they would sleep in MY bed.

Not by me,,, but by the evil mini-me's that apparently own the now obsolete "make your own decisions" neurological connection center in my brain.

No,,,,,, SORRY,,,,,, I wasn't excited about this sleep over because the last time ONE of my daughters slept in my room she was wearing a tank top and I ended up with a pre-teen armpit face mask,,,,,, and before I knew it,,,,, in an attempt to scream for the removal of said pre-teen armpit face mask,,,,,,,, the action of speaking caused an armpit farty, zerbert thing to happen,,,,,, which was funny only AFTER the fact,,,,,, but added to the emergent removal of said pre-teen child from my bed.

But,, the little one decided to sleep horizontally at the foot of the bed (which wouldn't work in a household where the mom is of normal height,, but worked perfectly in mine). And the eldest promised she would stay on her side as she put my "man" pillow between us as a barrier,, only after making jokes at my expense because "Mom has a pillow she hugs and calls... MAN"... And apparently that is funny.....Is it????? IS IT REALLY?????

But something happened as we all lay there in the now dark room being punctuated with lightening and periodic girl screams at the thunder..(mine included).....

...The girly giggles welled up inside us all and we laughed.

I laughed like I hadn't laughed in a long, long while.

And those little giggles coming out of my daughters were worthy of being bottled and

sold like:

BOTTLES OF THE FINEST CRISTAL

.....To be uncorked each time you forget what it feels like to have no cares.

I even cocked the fart leg gun (because farts are ALWAYS funny people) and tried for a rapid fire attack (but alas,, me being an extremely demure and feminine specimen of supreme woman creation,, I had no ammo,, so I had to fake it with elaborate sheet maneuvering and mouth noises,, just sayn').

I didn't sleep the whole night.

But it was OK.

BECAUSE..........

My oldest started rubbing my back.....FOR FREE.......

AND.......

.......before she fell off into slumber,, my youngest rubbed my foot,,, (which was hanging out a few inches from her head) and said the sweetest thing:

"I don't know why Mom, but having your foot here makes me feel secure, That's weird I know, but,,,,, I love you, Mom..."


And what happened then?

Well, in Seductressville they say,,

Mommy Grinch's too small
(bed hogging)

HEART...

http://petersontoscano.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/grinch-smile.jpg

.....grew THREE sizes that day!

Grinch Heart Grow Pictures, Images and Photos

10 Seducing Deductions:

Gardenvy said...

This was a seriously great post to read! I loved hangin' out with my mom and my sisters in her room, and now that I'm thousands of miles away I miss her so!
Thanks for the cute read :D

mac said...

In crowded places big love grows :-)

Spuds said...

We had to have our storm shelter in full use on Saturday. The cocked fart legs were in full use... maybe. It was a joyous gathering... not!

Spuds said...

And did you know that you have a follower with what looks like a nipple as her profile pic? That's a statement without saying a word!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I hate to say it because it will only go to your head but THAT is how you tell a story. Nice touch with the Grinch at the end. I always cry at that part of the show - every year - every time.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Gardenenvy-Thank you for the compliment, I love when my silly stories hit a memory..It's the sweet candy of blogging....hugs to u!!

Mac- This is sooo true...What a sweet thought...hugs

Spuds-It's stressing but memories, I am SURE you all laughed like crazy too!!!!

And it's a very very attractive nipple I think....hugs baby!!

Cal- I never let things go to my head unless you say them...wink....Love that part too...would be smiling and sniffling with you!!!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

That is very sweet, Seductress - especially the part with your foot in your daughter's face. I'm glad your bed was warmed with love, and you didn't have to wait 8 years for it!
Hugs,
Robyn

Crunk said...

Being so funny, imaginative, creative and attractive, I can't believe you are so lonely. Are you sure that you're not making the choice to be, deep down maybe?

Thanks for sharing the moments your family share with the rest of us.

x

Sir Thomas said...

man flank..omg what have we been reduced to... man flank.... really? ok ok I can work with that *smiles* good thing we are so easy to work with right?


that was a special moment huh....

mom I'm so glad you have a foot here.... kids say the sweetest things huh....


now back to some man flank... I got two sides for ya!!

Sir Thomas said...

you like sauce on your man flank?

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