Thursday, April 29, 2010

The letter "R" stole my childhood!!

Misc Pictures, Images and Photos

I was born in Pennsylvania. That's pretty far North, at least the last time I looked. We moved around a bit and ended up in the South. But I kept something from the North with me after we moved. The lack of skill or desire to properly enunciate the letter "R". You see, I am with the folks from Bahston on this one. I prefer to "Pahk my Cah" instead of "parking" it. I can't help it. If it were up to me "Q" would follow "S" and "R" would be a "sometimes" letter similar to how "Y" is being whored out in the VOWEL line up.

New Vowels Pictures, Images and Photos
See how sad the letter "Y" looks here???

Letter Y Pictures, Images and Photos
The letter "Y" is always getting screwed!!

***More on the unethical treatment of the letter "Y" later***

I heart the fact that Elmer Fudd refuses to EVEN use the letter "R",, in fact,, he makes the letter "W" interchangeable with it. Genius!

hunting wabbits Pictures, Images and Photos

Hunting wabbits Pictures, Images and Photos

I was swiftly kicked in the ass and sent directly to Speech Therapy once I made it down South. These days they would not put you in therapy for an accent, but back then they thought they needed to "fix" me. And fix me they did! Now I have a distinct southern drawl and still stumble over my "R's".

So now,,,,,, I can "Pahk my Cah,, Y'all!"

The kids these days mispronounce and slang everything up. Is there a speech therapy class for that? In a song my kids were listening to, I heard a spitting rap interlude where the rapper said:

"If you don't believe me, ask Mmomanem....".

OK, so is this a break out new rap artist who used?? Eminem as a muse for his name?

What exactly is a Mmomanem?

Let me introduce you to
my professor in SLANG ARTS:

..ain't she cute!!

(tapping chalkboard for your attention)

Slang Dunce: What in the Halibut is a "Mmomanem"??

MsDebate: "Mmomanem" means: Ask my mom and them......What's wrong with YOU? YOU can't hear that??

Slang Dunce: (raises hand politely) Really???? Are you being cereal????
(see what I did there??? Cereal/serious....I slay me...I mean really..ahaha....)

MsDebate: (fake laughs at my verbal joke drawing attention to the fact that it was pretty lame)

**Class Dismissed**

So now DramaGirl is in speech therapy because SHE has a problem with her "R's" also.. (Well played letter "R",,, well played!! That damn letter continues to haunt me!!)..

But here's the thing,,, she LOVES speech therapy!!! They play games and watch movies and eat candy and sing and tell jokes and,,, and,,, and ,,,,,,, and ,,,,,

Party Hat Kids Pictures, Images and Photos
Dammit,,,, REALLY?????!!!!

This is NOTHING like what her Mmomanem did in speech therapy!!

As much as I am happy for her in that she is LOVING the class,, I feel slighted because my speech therapy was torture! We actually got called "RETARDED",, well,, I got called "TARDED" 'cause I couldn't pronounce the "R" which meant I was too "TARDED" for the "RE"........sigh..........

My speech therapy instructor praised us in monotone similar to how the farmer praised the pig in the movie "Babe"...That poor pig could have made gasoline out of his own spit..

....... and the farmer would still send out a dry:

"That'll do PIG..... That'll do....."

Babe Pictures, Images and Photos

My speech therapy experience consisted of sitting on a red chair, on a red circular braided rug, in the middle of the class, and doing vocal exercises, whilst the teacher stood to my right with a ruler and an attitude..

Over an hour of:

R-R- R- R- R- R- R- R- R- R


Teacher: Say "R"!

Me: uhhhhh, "R" ?

Teacher: very well.. Now say "URL"!!

Me: "URL" ...."URL"!!

Teacher: fine.. say: CuRleRRR

Me: CUHLAH? (smiles meekly cause I knows I did wrong)

Teacher: (FWAP--- ruler abuse)....*sighs*

ruler Pictures, Images and Photos


R-R- R- R
- R- R- R- R- R- R


I'd like to meet up with that speech instructor and....

...... put a foot up HER ....ARSE!!!!!
But....... Whateva'....... I'm not Bitta'

On another note..........

Please support
your local chapter of:

The "Y-no-Y" Foundation

Small_Y Pictures, Images and Photos - NO -
Small_Y Pictures, Images and Photos

The "Y-no-Y" Foundation was organized to fight for the equal rights and ethical treatment of the letter "Y". We must stop the blatant snubbing of this letter from the other members of the alphabet. The letter "Y" deserves to fit in, it is currently falling through the verbal cracks and being defined as "usually" a consonant along with the letter "W" ,,,, and only "sometimes" a vowel.

The letter "Y" deserves an identity all it's own and the "Y-no-Y" foundation strives to achieve that lofty goa
l and Y-Y-Y-YOU can help!!!

By the way folks:

Today is the last day to qualify for the "100 Post Giveaway"!!! So COMMENT!!!

Each comment counts as one entry and I will draw from a hat,,,, the winner will get a piece of my stained glass artwork, painted especially for you and..... You can choose the design....cause that is how I roll, Yo!!!

Good Luck and I hope someone actually wants this prize....*shrugs*

11 Seducing Deductions:

Slyde said...

hey, im from Long Island.... i can't make fun of ANYONE'S pronunciations...

Heff said...

Don't you mean "shwugs" ? lol !!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I loves the ways you have tried to overcome your hillbilly upbringing to learn how to speak proper so that you can mix effectively in polite society. I would never do this on purpose but I would love to see you get a rilled up by something that brought back that backwoods speach because shucky darns that would be sexy. I keep my squirrel hat in the car just in case - so now you know.

mac said...

I had problems with my Rs as well.
I don't remember my speech teacher being too mean. But I went to a country school?

In the fifth grade I was sent to a remedial reading class for evaluation. It seems my teacher thought I couldn't read (mostly because I wouldn't for her, she was a meanie!).
The remedial teacher was very nice and just a little cute, I read for her very well. She called my parents and suggested I wasn't reading at a fifth grade level....But at a high school level.
That was a mixed bag there. One, I was kind of off the hook in fifth grade reading class. But two, it had been discovered that I was sandbagging.
It was cool though. I played it off as the reading teachers fault, 'cause she was so mean :-)

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I fully suppawt all youwr causes, bloggy sis! Give the darn Y it's rights as a full fledged vowel. The southern drawl is much, much more proper than the ugly sounds the rest of us make when we speak.
Your slang tutor is a doll.
obYn (with emphasis on the "Y". Note that I just left the damn "r" all altogether, in suppawt of the cause)xo

Kat said...

I like Elmer Fudd!!! and Ys too!

Powdered Toast Man said...

Hahahahahaha!! My fiancee and I say cereal instead of serious. We got it from Al Gore on South Park.

I have problems with the letter 3.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Slyde- I like a good northern accent,,,It's sexy!!!

Heff-'s weally sad..

Cal- I try to be a sophisticated gal but my quirks get in the dang way!

Mac- Too funny...I sandbagged in science so the hot teacher would rub my back and talk reeeal slow to me..He smelled so nice! Every once in a while I would pop out an A and he;d be all happy with me...sigh

RRG- I KNEW you would have my back!!! You Wock!!!!! hugs

Kat- Supporting the Y cause with me? AWESOME...We should have a rally....but Y???
Man I am lame sometimes!!hugs

PTM-I hate the letter 3!!!! laughing

hunter said...

i have problems with my r's as well, i hate it. im haunted by it. My friends do tounge twisters and purposely they make every world start waith the letter r what i did to stop this is i had a daily meeting with my speech teacher now i only have problems with or and ur r's

Hunter said...

Hey,i would love the artwork. i'm taking art in middlee school and i would luv 2 see new styles

The Invisible Seductress said...

Hunter- I paint on glass it looks like stained glass and then I embellish it some more with gems and marbles for more dimension. I am glad your rs are getting better. :}

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