(now sing my pretties,, for maximum interactive blog enjoyment)
SUMMER TIME,, SUMMER TIME,,
SUM-SUM-SUMMER TIME!!
SUMMER TIME,,,OH-eeeOH--OOOOH!!
(take a bow)
SUM-SUM-SUMMER TIME!!
SUMMER TIME,,,OH-eeeOH--OOOOH!!
(take a bow)
Canopies of leaves swirl in the warm wind against the blue of a perfect sky. Children's laughter singing out with little hands covered in sidewalk chalk and sticky with bubble solution. Birds keeping post singing in the heat of the day. Hours spent on bikes with friends, mad because you know have to come home to eat dinner soon.
And then the sweet music of summer rings through the neighborhood. Getting louder and louder, closer and closer, as little faces glow with the anticipation of a chilly summer treat. The summer tradition of finding all the change you can and begging for more to buy a freezer burnt Bomb pop or a melty great Orange Push-up from the back of a truck.
Or maybe you long for the Official lipstick of summer.... a red Popsicle,,, whilst you run through the sprinkler in your yard.
No matter,,, memories are made and a special time of childhood is marked.
Unless that is...
....your mom is chillingly afraid of Ice Cream trucks and shuttles you in promptly as if she heard a tornado warning horn instead of the gentle twang of ice Cream truck music (shiver).
And then....
Your summer is ruined!!
It's almost just as bad as being told:
" We will not purchase any more ice freezy Pops until ALL the Yellow ones are eaten." (no one likes the yellow ones, they fall through the freezer shelves and pile up like sea gull poop on a wooden beach hand railing)
But in my defense. All of the Ice Cream trucks I have ever been a witness to have been creepy.
Run down van conversions with peeling pictures of outdated Ice Cream novelties adorning the side, being driven by: skeezy, pedophile old men ( no offense to the handsome non-skeezy, anti-pedophile, young men that drive Ice Cream trucks in YOUR ritzy neighborhoods).
The truck here even jacks up the CREEPY factor ten fold by having music that skips bizarrely, and an engine that sputters black smoke....... and if THAT does not get you......
.......And not even happy songs like "Jingle Bells" and "Good King Worcheshire Sauce"....(she says jokingly taking creative liberty)........
NO.......
Well,,, I oughta!!!!!
It's almost just as bad as being told:
" We will not purchase any more ice freezy Pops until ALL the Yellow ones are eaten." (no one likes the yellow ones, they fall through the freezer shelves and pile up like sea gull poop on a wooden beach hand railing)
Again,,, with the ruining of summer...
But in my defense. All of the Ice Cream trucks I have ever been a witness to have been creepy.
Run down van conversions with peeling pictures of outdated Ice Cream novelties adorning the side, being driven by: skeezy, pedophile old men ( no offense to the handsome non-skeezy, anti-pedophile, young men that drive Ice Cream trucks in YOUR ritzy neighborhoods).
I tried to warn you they were evil...
Penisburger.....indeed....hmpff
..can I even post the word Penisburger?
Perhaps Penisburger posting would be offensive?
Maybe I should contact the BLOGGER authorities and get an official
answer on this Penisburger question.
I certainly would not want to throw the word Penisburger around in error.
Penisburger posting will be from this point on,, banned from my blog.
Penisburger.....indeed....hmpff
..can I even post the word Penisburger?
Perhaps Penisburger posting would be offensive?
Maybe I should contact the BLOGGER authorities and get an official
answer on this Penisburger question.
I certainly would not want to throw the word Penisburger around in error.
Penisburger posting will be from this point on,, banned from my blog.
The truck here even jacks up the CREEPY factor ten fold by having music that skips bizarrely, and an engine that sputters black smoke....... and if THAT does not get you......
He plays F'N CHRISTMAS MUSIC IN THE SUMMER!!!!!
.......And not even happy songs like "Jingle Bells" and "Good King Worcheshire Sauce"....(she says jokingly taking creative liberty)........
NO.......
Our Penisburger (oops) plays:
"What Child is This"
and
"Oh Holy Freaking Night"......
and
"Oh Holy Freaking Night"......
...One day I swear I heard him playing "Who Made Who" by AC/DC and I knew Steven King's "Maximum Overdrive" prophecy had come to reality and the neighborhood was doomed......
This is my official apology to my children for ruining their summer.
Please enjoy the Ice Cream and Cake Song:
Please enjoy the Ice Cream and Cake Song:
6 Seducing Deductions:
Really?
How can your poor babies have a normal life? How will they ever experience the disappointment that comes with knowing the ice cream man doesn't have any truly good ice cream on his truck?
And, penisburger doesn't sound too appetizing to me!
oh my god i couldnt STAND the damn yellow or orange pops!
You cannot trust those ice cream drivers they are all crazed killers... that deal drugs and addict our kids.
Walmart sell pops 500 at a time and they dont have the yellow ones...
Ha ha! I wrote about creepy pedophile ice cream truck drivers a while back, but it wasn't this good.
I like the yellow pops. Just not as much as the other colors, but I guess that is what you are saying.
Three things play that 'tink tink tink' music and are the stuff of my nightmares - ice cream trucks, circuses, and Jack-in-the-Boxes. Despite the fact that the first two CAN have very tastey treats associated with them they also have the stench of carnies and clowns about them. I will pay a bit extra at the store to get my 'molestation free' ice cream.
Dang. That f*n Christmas music is horrid to hear even during Christmas. I love that picture of the little boy about to punch me out. Actually, he scares the hell out of me. Another great post. You keep getting better!
Hugs,
Robyn
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