Random Thoughts-would you like fries with that?

Welcome to:
RANDOM THOUGHTS....

**The thoughts an ideas expressed in this post do not necessarily make sense..
..Adult supervision is STRONGLY suggested..
..Do not try this at home..
..The Invisible Seductress is a professionally trained mental patient on a closed course**

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...and then RUN with the scissors!!!
Do it!!!

1 out of 4 women can not read a pregnancy test. It would be scary to be that 1 woman out of the 4,, as navigating through life would be very difficult. If you were that 1 out of the 4,, would you be smart enough to KNOW that YOU WERE the 1 out of the 4 women that the commercial is referencing and purchase the pregnancy test that has been specifically dumbed down for you?

I have been watching the show "I (almost) got away with it". I am transfixed on how these criminals are living better than I am while being a fugitive of the law for so long. I will continue watching this show just in case I need to (almost) get away with something.

Adult bladder protection commercials confuse me. The people are dancing and having a wonderful time doing the jitterbug or playing shuffle-board. I don't think I could dance and have a wonderful time doing the jitterbug OR playing shuffle-board if I soiled myself. I need to feel sexy while I do the jitterbug and play shuffle-board. Somehow,,, this problem doesn't seem conducive to feeling sexy.

A woman on Maury brought 8 men on the show to discover who was the father of one of her posse of children. I don't think the paternity of your children should play out like a Scooby Doo Mystery. You should unmask your lovers BEFORE you sleep with them. You wouldn't want those meddling kids to break in while you are having sex,,, that would make for an awkward episode.

Scratch-and-Sniff

If we think something smells awful, why do we feel compelled to share this with someone else. We already know it is a bad olfactory experience. Why bring someone else into it. If you were here, would you smell it with me? That would make you a true friend.

Oh,,, and this tastes like crap,,, taste it,,, no really,,, TASTE IT!!!....

I have a pair of badly ripped underwear. I think there is only a waist band and 1 leopard spot left. When my washing machine is broken (sigh) or my "Superior Domestication" switch is on the fritz, I come upon them in the drawer. I feel relieved that they are there as a final option for me and marvel at my dedication to them. Someday I will throw them away or they will disintegrate on their own. That will be a sad day for me. The thought gets me all misty eyed. Please hold me.

My washing machine floods my kitchen every few weeks. My kitchen is a long galley type kitchen with linoleum floors. When it floods, me and the kids use the kitchen as a slip-n-slide. I bet YOU never had an indoor slip-n-slide ........(Jealous much?).

Image may be SLIGHTLY exaggerated.

Why is it that every time I use baby powder I act like it is already open and invert the container and shake it? Then when I realize it's NOT open, I open it and get my face "dust bombed". You would think I would remember this is going to happen,,, as I consider myself somewhat intelligent.

I really, really want a Thermapedic mattress. I also have been really, really fighting the urge to become a shoplifter. I figure I need to work my way up to the mattress. The other day I ate a grape in the supermarket and walked out. There was a great adrenalin rush but I did not like always having to look over my shoulder, so before I got to the car, I walked back in the store. Apparently you can not buy one grape. I am still "On the lam".

(Don't tell anyone about this blog.....)