Monday, March 29, 2010

This post has no verbal nutritional value AT ALL!!

Useless thoughts:



I wonder why the Trix rabbit just doesn't just go and buy some cereal and eat it at his leisure. I mean he goes to such extraordinary lengths and expense to dress up in elaborate costumes and conjure up eye pleasing visual effects and realistic props, only to be discovered and scolded by children. If he would focus his efforts and simplify his strategy, I bet he could be eating the fruity goodness that is Trix right now. And that would make me happy.

There is a new bubble product out for children. It is called "Optrix 3D bubbles".
Aren't bubbles ALREADY 3D?

Why do we fall for it when our children PROMISE they will be the ones taking care of the new puppy? And is the big red "STUPID" stamp on my forehead pretty??

When I go to the "Dollar General", I want to think that everything in the store is generally a dollar. But it's not and that makes me sad.


Letters to random idiots:

Dear lady in the parking lot with your gangsta friends: I was walking in with three young kids in tow when you decided to start your rant on life and barrage us with "F" bombs. My kids HAVE heard the "F" word before and know that it is not proper for them to say it. However when it is shot around like an AK47 on steroids, it begs to reason: what's the point??? It adds no drama then! And when you looked straight at me and saw the look on my face, were you not intelligent enough to take the hint and lay off for 3 seconds while we enter the store? Apparently not. And yes that is why I let the older girls take the younger one in so I could step out and alert you to your ignorance "politely". You are the reason my son asked where his "F'N" stuffed animal was before bed last night and I had to punish him and put him to bed feeling awful.



Dear person who walked right in front of me in line: I am a patient gal. I really am. But I have things to do as well, and when you decide to cut in front of me, you hi-jack some of my time. I don't appreciate having my time hi-jacked like that, but my head was throbbing so I let you live.
You're welcome.



Dear KFC: I don't know what your problem is but counting to "8" is really NOT that difficult! When I order an "8" piece grilled chicken, I expect to have "8" pieces when I get home! And treating me like I am unreasonable for that, just makes you look more ignorant. So when I count it in front of you and you mumble something under your breath , realize who the TRUE idiot is here.....because....I just handed you BACK the box that only had "6" pieces in it..perhaps a few training videos with "The Count" from Sesame Street would help............




Dear Homeowners Association: My grass is long. I cut it. It may not sound like a lot to you but paying $30.00 to cut my grass is a lot of money to me. I had the palm fronds stacked neatly to the side by the garage. It would have been another $20.00 to have them taken to the dump. I needed to wait. Now you cited me for that. In the meantime, I can not go out of my house at night without feeling like a duck in a carnival game. I can not let my kids outside without feeling concerned for their safety. Groups of teens cut through my yard in the middle of the night screaming profanities and stealing everything that is not tied down. Please let me and my neighbors' grass grow beyond ankle height and focus on cleaning up the crime and violence here instead. You will NEVER gain the respect of prospective home buyers if we don't clean up the crime. Our values will continue to plummet and owners will continue to leave, rent out their homes to questionable people and the cycle will never end.



I just want a hug



16 Seducing Deductions:

Nitin said...

hehe.. i really do hope that the people for whom these letters are intended for reads em.. might knock some sense into em. talking about KFC.. i had a similar experience. i went all hulk on em the last time. but after reading this i was thinking perhaps a nice letter would had got my point across.

John Nicoll said...

Just keep that darn rabbit away from my dill pickles please

Blasé said...

I wrote a letter recently to my new Dr.

His nurse apparently doesn't like to return phone messages. I let him know that things of that nature would not fly with me.

He called a couple of days later leaving a message apologizing. I don't put up with anyone's shit, nobody's.

I've got hat "hug" for you...right.....HERE!

The Savage said...

Gosh, you're pretty.

Blasé said...

ps- regarding your comment on my Blog, yesterday.

I don't have family, either. My wife is the only person I've got. I've disowned my parents and have had to put my children out of my mind. Long story.

I'll be here for you as long as you can stand me ;)

Crunk said...

I'm sorry for my ignorance but what is The Homeowners Association? Is it an official government body or a group of people from the neighbourhood who are busy bodies?

Sir Thomas said...

Really? His F”N teddy bear and you know where it came from, that’s so hard to do. I mean it’s got to be done but damn. Makes you want to go back and go death wish (6) on them bad boys….

Oh I hate, no I dislike line cutters. I had a guy in the coffee line at star bucks yesterday try that.. he went running off without putting cream or sugar in his coffee… and all I said was hey next time try waiting your turn or something like that…

I don’t have the KFC problem any more because I tell them ahead of time that if I have to come back because they short changed me or I have 8 wings in a ten piece bucket. That chicken necks will be broken and put into places best left for other things…

Oh then you hit upon something very close to my heart… the home owner Nazi’s. I have gone around and around with these guys about my rights and how they can’t take them away. I glad to say that now they think I’m pretty much crazed and are afraid to bring any thing to my attention… *grins*


I’m so with you on this one….

Ps: you need to move out of that place as soon as you can…. The northwest is nice…

The Invisible Seductress said...

Nitin- they do that to other people too? i am sorry bout that!!!! smile

John- I'm with ya on that one!! love me a good pickle!!

Blase- i suppose i need some lessons on the sticking up for me front--I try though!! And I'll gladly accept the hug and keep you and SB around as long as you wanna!!! big smile!!!
Savage- awwwww---gosh your sweet!!!

Crunk-You are EXACTLY right!! They are! I explained in 2009 my health and financial situation thinking it may help but, it didn't.I may take a little longer but it gets done..sigh...hugs

Sir- This neighborhood will be the death of me. I'll be kicked out soon enough. I just want to stay safe until then. The knocking on my window in the middle of the night and the cops sayn it's just kids, don't do anything..sigh...it's a nightmare! I wish I had the money to move..oh well..hugs to ya----

f1trey said...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX :)

Sir Thomas said...

and two for the raod...

1. you know why already you dont get trix right? there for kids.....

2. you need some help breaking bad just ask... won't be no more tapping on the window...

mac said...

I posted this a while back. It seemed apprapo, so here I go.....

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary.
So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain.
Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest.
But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre.
The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"


_______________________

Don't let those Homeowner Association buttheads ruin your day. I got a letter from the city last week telling me to cut down a bush.
A bush, I might add that seems to have been in place for years. Funny, I just bought this place in November. WTF, City, now it's a problem ???

The Invisible Seductress said...

Trey- xoxoxo back!!!! ;}

Sir- breaking bad help!!! That rocks!!!!!!! I don't think they are too afraid of me. I try not to be of them, but you never know..hug hug to u!!

Mac- that was too funny!!! ;) ...is the bush still there??? crazy .....

mac said...

The bush is now gone.
I paid my son to cut it this afternoon. Well, I paid him to watch me teach him how to operate the saw...clever one, that boy.

Now, there's a tiny stump cluster in my yard. I sure hope that doesn't cause problems for motorists.

Secretia said...

The homeowners association needs a new president-why don't you take the job, you know what is important!

Secretia

The Invisible Seductress said...

Secretia-They are all older and bitter. last year when I had 12 surgeries they couldn't understand why I didn't have someone take care of my yard while I was in the hospital dieing. It's not what I was thinking about. Go figure.

Monkey Pickles said...

Great post goofball !!! ahhahah I always enjoy reading

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