Friday, March 26, 2010

Retro Seductress-for Robyn...wink


This is one of my very first posts. It was when I was online in the dating scene and describes the questionable outcome of a few dates. Robyn from "Life by chocolate" had spoken about a bad blind date. So I am reposting this for her!(wish I knew how to link,,but I am a MORON,, but,, she's awesome,, check her out!)

I plan on coming back strong next week for a celebratory "100 Followers Giveaway and Thank You Extravaganza"!!! (Oprah is in on this giveaway,, she is so excited about the new ca...damn I almost gave it away!!!

Kisses,, hugs,, chocolate and back scratches to all!!


Post is from 10/02/2009




The last few months I have been actively reading and responding to my dating site hits. I won't mention the sites but I have an active profile on two of them. One is a major player in the match world (wink) and the other is a little site with a fun and lively set up. Over these months on the big one I received 409 emails (I put up Megan Foxes pic -ha)!!! Perusing over them has been quite interesting. Most of them say they want an "inteligant women" and continue to ramble-spelling every other word wrong (if you want an intelligent woman-spell it right dipstick!!). I have physically met 4 men--2 for lunch (doesn't count right?) and 2 for dinner.


Would you like to know what happened? ....Of course you do-here I go:


A few months back I had the first one. It was a lunch date with a guy that had a name similar to "quick1974". We had spoken to each other for about a month. He seemed cute and funny but a bit dramatic. It was my first "date" in years and I was nervous and in the bathroom for about an hour before-uh-relieving nervousness and trying to hide it. The concept of dating again leaves me Chihuahua-ish (ie: shaking and peeing myself). The girls at work all posted at the windows--which--uh--helped??!! And I saw him waiting outside for me and thought he was cute. We went to a Mex place and he started talking to me about his life and his drama--his ex--his job--his finances--his health--his parent's health--his bird--(yes,,his bird) his ex--his ex--his ex.......That was the last time I spoke to him. He texted me 27 times in the next couple of days. I hope he and his bird are doing well.

The next "date" was with another long time conversation guy who worked in my field. I had free tickets to a comedy club and thought I'd use them for us. When I saw him I was shocked- "banker1986"-- looked NOTHING like his picture-and that was a really bad thing. I think he was a Muppet. Still,, I am not an appearance only girl and search more for heart than looks, so I hugged and smiled. Inside the club I found out he had no heart and was indeed a Muppet ("Animal"-sorry I love Animal too,,but it works here)-as I awkwardly sat with him I thought about my kids at the sitter,,,FOR THIS????!!! The best part of the night was when both comedians made fun of him. One even said he was dating waaaay out of his league (poufing hair<<.urp.>>). If he were a nice man I would have grabbed him and kissed him passionately right then-but instead I laughed. Later I found out that he had been putting his drinks on my tab-I had one drink that cost $60!!! I understandably waited a bit before my next dating leap.

The next guy with a screen name like "peas777" was really nice. He wasn't my type at all but I was having fun with him at Sonny's until we walked out to the parking lot to part ways. He grabbed me and swallowed my face with no warning. He then called and texted me over and over to tell me how much he loved my lips--I think he still has them.

....And then on to the last guy......He is kinda cute-funny-grounded and successful. "Artdad565" said he was separated and ready to move on. I felt him move fast emotionally,,but I liked him so I followed suit. There was no sex just nice visits-hand holding and a few kisses. He fixed my washing machine (which he should have gotten laid for) and was very caring. His company upgraded computer systems and since he was the boss he could give the old ones away,, I didn't own one so he brought one and helped me set it up. I asked "what if you decide you hate me?" he said the computer was still mine with a smile. It rocks (rubbing it's privates as we speak). Two days later he was having issues thinking about me "long term and romantically"- he said it felt like cheating---and I found out his wife still lived with him.....WHAT THE HALIBUT???? So I gotta "lets be friends" proposal and haven't heard from him since. He moved a lot quicker with feelings than I did-I am still a little confused with this one. I guess I am writing about him on my "parting gift".

So..... now I press on-sigh...Currently talking to 3 men on a regular basis-(one screen name is like "Orgazmicfruit" I really should know better)-no plans for meeting yet-will let you know. I must be insane to go forward with this but the challenge of finding a good guy intrigues me,, I'll keep my legs shaved for a few more weeks.


*****Update---Orgazmicfruit STILL sends me PIPE PICS (I tried to told me so!!!! He is blocked now)..and my legs are still shaved...but I am not on these sites anymore!!!*******

16 Seducing Deductions:

Slyde said...

why on earth didnt you tell me you were into pipe pics???

Whats your email address again?

The Savage said...

I used to smoke a pipe, cigars too.. but not in the Monica Lewinsky kind of a way. A nice bourbon Cavendish goes quite well with wine....

Sorry that I don't have any pics of my meerschaum....

f1trey said...

hehehehe ....what you see is what you get baby! I am me...nothing more or less!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Slyde-laughing--please don't it's kinda a sore spot...but thanks for offering...

Savage-rather refined I say dear sir...wink

trey-That's enough!! perfect!! smile

Blasé said...

You and Robyn need to walk with me through the Mall and I'll point to the men that I can discern are a 'good catch' for y'all.

Of course if we have a bad day...we can just share a Milkshake together. My treat. One BIG Chocolate Shake with 3 straws. I DON'T have cooties...

The Invisible Seductress said...

Blase-Robyn has not come to this post party yet...But when she gets there lets run off to the mall, we'll flank you and flaunt you,, and not just because you bribed us with chocolate either!!! wink

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I'M HERE! I'M HERE! Sorry for the delay. I tried to comment earlier but something went wrong. I believe another thing we have in common is that computers don't always like us. Them bastards! LOVED THIS POST, and SEEING MY NAME IN THE TITLE..WOO-HOO! Thanks, hon. Sorry that we also share the horrors of the dating scene. Blase, I'm there. But what mall are we talking? And are we talking about the boys who work in, say, Annie's Pretzels? Or the ones out shopping for their wives who they've "made a clean break from" but are still living with? The good ones like you aren't easy to find.
Love to you both,
Robyn

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

PS Chocolate shakes are easy to find, though. I'm not good with sharing chocolate. Straws, I can share. Chocolate, not so much.
xo

The Invisible Seductress said...

My girls always try to set me up with the pretzel guy--he's like 10--smiling...R= I was hoping that after Blase saw how hot we are he would scrape for individual large chocolate shakes.. I mean we ARE wearing matching outfits and dusting our cleavage ever so delicately with sparkles still right???

bwahahahah,,,this kills me....no really we are right???


xoxo

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Absolutely. We are. And we're wearing VS bras that accentuate too.
xoxo ;-]

Blasé said...

What the hell is a "VS bra"??

Whatever..I'm willing to look at it. Just bring it!

'Put/push up..or shut up' is what I always say to the women folk.

Crunk said...

He put his drinks on your tab?!?! What a fucker!

Blasé said...

oh, SB just told me what VS stands for- Victoria Secret!

Well AAAlllllrighty THEN!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Bwahahahaha..... They are the best I hear!!! But it's like buying a car every time you need one!!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Crunk- How rude was that!!! And I even paid for the comedy club tixs--stamp me stupid right???!!!! criminey jickets--I hear tale of nice men being out there though---like Loch ness and Bigfoot rumors,, not much evidence here yet!!! wink

mac said...

If I knew you were there, I would have let you take me out to a comedy club...but, don't worry. I only drink MtDew.

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