Retro Seductress-for Robyn...wink

This is one of my very first posts. It was when I was online in the dating scene and describes the questionable outcome of a few dates. Robyn from "Life by chocolate" had spoken about a bad blind date. So I am reposting this for her!(wish I knew how to link,,but I am a MORON,, but,, she's awesome,, check her out!)

I plan on coming back strong next week for a celebratory "100 Followers Giveaway and Thank You Extravaganza"!!! (Oprah is in on this giveaway,, she is so excited about the new ca...damn I almost gave it away!!!

Kisses,, hugs,, chocolate and back scratches to all!!

Post is from 10/02/2009

The last few months I have been actively reading and responding to my dating site hits. I won't mention the sites but I have an active profile on two of them. One is a major player in the match world (wink) and the other is a little site with a fun and lively set up. Over these months on the big one I received 409 emails (I put up Megan Foxes pic -ha)!!! Perusing over them has been quite interesting. Most of them say they want an "inteligant women" and continue to ramble-spelling every other word wrong (if you want an intelligent woman-spell it right dipstick!!). I have physically met 4 men--2 for lunch (doesn't count right?) and 2 for dinner.

Would you like to know what happened? ....Of course you do-here I go:


A few months back I had the first one. It was a lunch date with a guy that had a name similar to "quick1974". We had spoken to each other for about a month. He seemed cute and funny but a bit dramatic. It was my first "date" in years and I was nervous and in the bathroom for about an hour before-uh-relieving nervousness and trying to hide it. The concept of dating again leaves me Chihuahua-ish (ie: shaking and peeing myself). The girls at work all posted at the windows--which--uh--helped??!! And I saw him waiting outside for me and thought he was cute. We went to a Mex place and he started talking to me about his life and his drama--his ex--his job--his finances--his health--his parent's health--his bird--(yes,,his bird) his ex--his ex--his ex.......That was the last time I spoke to him. He texted me 27 times in the next couple of days. I hope he and his bird are doing well.

The next "date" was with another long time conversation guy who worked in my field. I had free tickets to a comedy club and thought I'd use them for us. When I saw him I was shocked- "banker1986"-- looked NOTHING like his picture-and that was a really bad thing. I think he was a Muppet. Still,, I am not an appearance only girl and search more for heart than looks, so I hugged and smiled. Inside the club I found out he had no heart and was indeed a Muppet ("Animal"-sorry I love Animal too,,but it works here)-as I awkwardly sat with him I thought about my kids at the sitter,,,FOR THIS????!!! The best part of the night was when both comedians made fun of him. One even said he was dating waaaay out of his league (poufing hair<<.urp.>>). If he were a nice man I would have grabbed him and kissed him passionately right then-but instead I laughed. Later I found out that he had been putting his drinks on my tab-I had one drink that cost $60!!! I understandably waited a bit before my next dating leap.

The next guy with a screen name like "peas777" was really nice. He wasn't my type at all but I was having fun with him at Sonny's until we walked out to the parking lot to part ways. He grabbed me and swallowed my face with no warning. He then called and texted me over and over to tell me how much he loved my lips--I think he still has them.

....And then on to the last guy......He is kinda cute-funny-grounded and successful. "Artdad565" said he was separated and ready to move on. I felt him move fast emotionally,,but I liked him so I followed suit. There was no sex just nice visits-hand holding and a few kisses. He fixed my washing machine (which he should have gotten laid for) and was very caring. His company upgraded computer systems and since he was the boss he could give the old ones away,, I didn't own one so he brought one and helped me set it up. I asked "what if you decide you hate me?" he said the computer was still mine with a smile. It rocks (rubbing it's privates as we speak). Two days later he was having issues thinking about me "long term and romantically"- he said it felt like cheating---and I found out his wife still lived with him.....WHAT THE HALIBUT???? So I gotta "lets be friends" proposal and haven't heard from him since. He moved a lot quicker with feelings than I did-I am still a little confused with this one. I guess I am writing about him on my "parting gift".

So..... now I press on-sigh...Currently talking to 3 men on a regular basis-(one screen name is like "Orgazmicfruit" I really should know better)-no plans for meeting yet-will let you know. I must be insane to go forward with this but the challenge of finding a good guy intrigues me,, I'll keep my legs shaved for a few more weeks.


*****Update---Orgazmicfruit STILL sends me PIPE PICS (I tried to told me so!!!! He is blocked now)..and my legs are still shaved...but I am not on these sites anymore!!!*******