Monday, March 15, 2010

Retro Seductress..because I am sick.. :(

This was a post I did last year that popped up in my head because I followed the same truck yesterday and felt the Deja bug biting on my neck....maybe that's why I am sick today...*shrugs*. Anyways I hope you enjoy it because I heart you and your quirky habits and I wouldn't nag you if you left toenail clippings on my sink or drank straight out of my milk carton while standing in front of the fridge at 2Am wearing tube socks and a Tu-Tu (you strange little bird you!!).

I'll see you tomorrow full of teenage angst..

Please enjoy this picture of Dwayne Johnson (he wears Tu-Tu's):
(you're welcome!!)

Now back to my regularly scheduled post-already in session:

Which one are you??????
Re-post From 10/19/09

I followed a Lazyboy furniture truck for about thirty minutes today. As my mind often does it wandered to a distant land of singing, sparkles and L-O-V-E!!!! Not sure what I mean??? Well here's a written visual for ya (ha, see how I did that...written visual,, I'm a tricky one!):

-----truck,,,,, truck,,,,, furniture,,,,,, he-EY,,,, I likey-likey that chair,, hmmmmmm,, chair,,my house stat,, gee I wonder if truck driver is cute,, (rear view glance,, smile),, I look alright,, uh HULLLOOOO,,,, LIP GLOSS,, (pucker,, smack,,apply lip gloss..... lick teeth to removing stray lip gloss remnants),,OK now,, (smile!!),, truck,, truck........HEY!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HALIBUT?????? What are they trying to say,,,, uh,,, RUUUDE,,, I'm hungry!!!

****Thank you for joining me on this short episode of "The Invisible Seductress Sporadic Thought Bonus Edition" Join us next time when the Seductress sees ANOTHER random object and totally ignores her driving responsibilities ONCE again!!****
(Side note: The lip gloss was totally justified in this situation,, don't judge me)

So,, what was I upset about you ask (confident that I will share because I can't stop blogging for you and because I love you so much I want to personally feed you Circus Peanuts,,,,, what??? I do,, really!!)???

You DID ask didn't you??? Of course you did!! Here you go:

What you can't see in the picture (that I almost killed myself to take for you) is the written part of the advertisement. Above the first chair it says "BLONDE" the second "BRUNETTE" and the third,, (yes you are soooo smart ****GOLDSTAR****) "RED HEAD" (my personal favorite, not sure why,, flipping Auburn hair, winking right at YOU!!).

This bothered me because if you scrutinize at the ad you notice things, at least I do because I have issues (the first step is admitting).

The "BLONDE" chair and the "RED HEAD" chair are both so unique and nimble. They are fun fabric pleasure portals. Sexy thin seats, smooth lines, cool contemporary colors and ACTION!!! (yes ACTION!!!)....Hours of fun and relaxation there -AND- you can "switch it up" with the flick of the wrist. Legs in -- OK,,,, hey "BLONDE", hook me up!!!!! Legs out-- well hello there "RED HEAD"!!! Thank you for the consideration, I love you!!

Where does that leave "BRUNETTE"???

Poor squat short stubby legged thick seated "BRUNETTE". Now some would argue (even I would have to agree) for that nice homey touch "BRUNETTE's" your seat. She's got that "eat a whole meatloaf with ketchup on top" look. Her feel is comfortable, expected, ordinary and trustworthy. Where she misses the boat is action, adventure and accommodations of chair comfort-nessy-ish-ness (yea, sure, you can use it in Boggle,, you're welcome AGAIN,, geesh,, needy).

You just kind of park yourself and ponder....Hmmmmmm,, wonder what she'll do next (nothing,, great,, meatloaf again??... sigh)...The other gals are exciting and feisty. Oh poor "BRUNETTE"! (I actually own her cousin, the "LOVE" seat,,, bow chica bow bow,,, he's naughty and BOTH sides kick out,,,,,,suki suki now!!!)

So could this be a metaphor you ask. What are you trying to say Invisible???

Nah,, this ain't no metaphor!!!! I'm just a simple chair activist and think "BRUNETTE" got the short end of the advertisement stick. You go where you want with it. My mind is spent..

11 Seducing Deductions:

Anonymous said...

I use to work for LaZBoy, and I think you should contact them immediately with your insights. I just don't like the whole being compared to a recliner ad, but that company just keeps trying to strike the right chord to let people know that they're not just "recliners" anymore.

Anyway, as I recall, the brunette chair was the one who got taken home most often, while the blond and redhead were certainly admired -- they just weren't taken home to mama!

Then you know, of course, what happens. They're marked down, then further reduced, finally clearance priced, and by that time they're so bedraggled, that no one even gives them a second glance. It's a sad story, but true.

Any company that goes by the name, "LaZBoy, just isn't going to show a whole heck of a lot of respect to the more feminine side of a chair!

I compliment you on your keen sense of observation because you certainly nailed it, and I am hopeful that you're feeling better very, very soon!!!

Here's to NYQUIL!!!

The Savage said...

I do hope you get better... as in no longer sick.... when it comes to writing you have no reason to get better.... I wouldn't say you've reached your apex and I am sure you can always improve but I don't mean that with any negative connotation nor am I judging your writing as you write very well....
(hops out on one foot with the other in his mouth mumbling how pretty you are)

Anonymous said...

How does one follow a laz-e-boy truck around for 30 minutes. Were you stalking him?

The Invisible Seductress said...

Oh my Jan I never knew the Brunette got taken home the most,, she's a sly one,,if not a bit questionable in morality,, well,,as far as chairs go...wink..

Savage-laughing--blush-would you think that in a box, would you think that with a fox?? xoxo

Bama- Yes I was...I had nothing else to do..laughing..I'm cool like that..he liked it though,, we ate at Iron Skillet and talked about ass pillows.... hugs

Anonymous said...

Wow and now I think I’m spent too.. good thing? Maybe *winks* we are both spent *chuckles* of course it might have been the hair flip or the biting on your neck that did it or maybe even the written visual I was getting from all of the colors at once…

Oh you are tricky

Crunk said...

The madness of your mind, brilliant!!

Crunk said...

P.S get well soon xXx

Anonymous said...

sigh- you never discuss them with me.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Sir--not too tricky I hope...

Crunk- Thank you for enjoying my madness!!--and thanks for the well wishes...hug

Bama- We'll talk about ass pillows soon..I'm studying so I will speak intelligently 'bout them..You know viscosity and suchwink

mac said...

If your fond of redheads, I suppose I better start using some of that gray hiding cream before all mine is gone?

I agree, reds do seem ... ah... juicier, spicier, naughtier ;-)

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Feel better, hon, and don't listen to anyone who tells you to eat less chocolate.

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