Swish, Swish,,Swiiiiiiiirl...Swish, Swish,,Swiiiiiiirl!!!

Today is the perfect day for me to pledge my eternal love to :

GREEN JELLO

I have made a HUGE vat of it.
(I went to Sam's)

I will lay said HUGE vat of
GREEN JELLO
on a
PINEAPPLE RING

with 2 thick width happy swirly flex straws.
One swirly happy straw will go to the Jello vat
(because you can't suck Jello through a straw without smiling)
and the other swirly happy straw will be going to a bottle of
Lemon-Lime Soda
(possibly Sprite but maybe Squirt *shrugs*).

I will simultaneously suck the straws so that the Jello and the Lemon-Lime Soda
(possibly Sprite but maybe Squirt *shrugs again*),
meld together in my mouth.
I will then make a
Swish, Swish,, Swiiiiiirl....Swish, Swish,, Swiiiiiiirl!!!!
sound effect while pushing the Jello through my teeth and it will taste like
an
eruption
of a
Lemony-Limey Love Child VOLCANO!!

After 8pm but before 9pm,
I will exchange the bottle of lemon-lime Soda
(possibly Sprite but maybe Squirt *see above shoulder movement please*)
with a full bottle of
Lemon infused Vodka.

After 9pm but before 10pm,
I will be sick of Green Jello but not sick of
Lemon infused Vodka.

After 10pm but before 12pm
I will have passed out in my Jello vat while trying to
make Shamrock Jello Angels
(similar to Snow Angels, but shotty alcohol induced renderings -at best)

After 5am but before 6am
I will have awakened from my

St. Patrick's Day extravaganza
only to realize
that I have been tinted green
and
I am stuck to the bottom of the Jello vat decorated with
Shotty Shamrock Jello Angels
(at best)

I will then shake my head and say something deep like:

"I'm so silly, I should have swam in Absinthe!!!"
and take a long shower.



HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!

*none of this is really going to happen, unless you come over to babysit. please. I heart Green Jello!