An open letter

Dear daily life,

I have been toiling away each day awaiting patiently a change of the monotonous pace of my existence. I realize that there are others out their in far worse situations than mine. I would give freely to them all that I have to offer them a light at the end of their tunnel. With that being said I don't ask for much. I am not asking for the finest of clothing and accessories. I don't require a full dance card or lavish dining and exotic trips. My mind is not set on wealth as the only means of happiness. My loins need not be visited by the most chiseled and art inspired replicas of masculinity to feel hallowed. My hair not silkened by pure honey and my face need not be revered by all to feel my own wealth.

BUT

FOR GOODNESS SAKES

Could you just PALEEEEEEEEEEESE let me stop dropping glass jars in Walmart!!

How in the hell can I come here and rag on Walmart patrons if I am a nuisance and spectacle myself. Is this KARMA I ask??? Because if so there were a lot of angry maraschino cherries being punished injudiciously for my wrong doings! And I just wanted a damn cherry! That's all! Was that SOOOO wrong???!!!!

So I sit here now,,, cherry less and alone, contemplating never shopping again at Walmart.

** but then again,, the new greeter is HOT and does not have a walker (BONUS), but I think the oxygen tank may slow us down a bit. He'll need the air though! I heart old Walmart greeters!!!

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Yours sincerely,

The Seductress

This picture is just WRONG!!!!
I don't even know what to say