When I bought the Earth I planned for it to be a no stress environment. I know you didn't know that I owned the Earth, but now you can be dually impressed and perhaps a little disappointed that I had to sell it--- because this (looking around shocked) is what happened!! But I DO still own the road when I pull out in front of you--(just so we're clear!).
I sold the planet right as people started acting stupid and forgetting that there are just things that are morally wrong no matter how you explain them away. You treat people with love and respect and you'll get it back! You raise your kids showing them the way, and they will show the way as well.
But, there are also the trivial things that made me re-evaluate ownership.
When I see mullets or a sandals/sock ensemble or un-blended foundation masks -and- of course sweatpants with "sexy" written on the ass, I know I made the right decision pulling out. Who wants to be responsible for your people looking like that??!! (I styled the starlets of the 50's and the Egyptian Goddesses with dark liner and bronzed skin,, you're welcome!!)
I created Walmart as a safe haven for these "style challenged" and common sense lacking people, but they were never supposed to leave the confines of the "community"!!! The stupid contractor made obvious doors and when the men had to relieve themselves they scratched, went primal and followed the outdoor smell to pee on the wall and concrete. Slowly all poured out to procreate thus substantiating their role in the world and the need for 5 million MORE Walmart's to be built with huge flip-flop aisles next to the rifles and camo underwear (Wher'd she go? She was JUST here a second ago!!!).
However, there were a lot of GREAT fun trivial things I brought about before relinquishing rights! Some of the silly/fun things you grew up with that are firmly embedded in your memory banks.
Wanna see a few? Of course you do!! Here I go:
So you see---- I DID make a difference in this world!!!!!
I will continue my calling to bring back the integrity and respect of Circus Peanut's to a new generation of children!!!
YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!
You should be glad you got in on the ground floor of my fame otherwise I may think you are using me to advance your own popularity!!!
Note: When you make posters in my likeness for the hero parades that will be thrown in my honor, make sure you make me look a little taller to have more gravity with the kids. And the chant should include the word "FANTASTIC" some where in the body. Also please do not throw Circus Peanuts to the crowds like Mardi gras beads as we are much more refined and will hand out packets that can double as beer koozies.