Friday, February 26, 2010

75 mph

I was going 75mph. Well, maybe I should rephrase that, my CAR was going 75mph and I just so happened to be the one inside it. Even dirty PT Cruisers with car seats and melted crayon spots have dreams. Mine was dreaming it was a 2010 Chevy Camaro-----slate blue with thick racing stripes caressing the hood-----super charged with dual exhaust and splashed with chrome.

It was gliding on a long strip of road smooth in the right spots and slightly hilly in others, primed perfectly to catch air like the General Lee. It's tires thick and meaty, rims expensive and it was lusted after, just like me (ha). It dreamt of a sound system temporarily devoid of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. It craved a trip where owner and machine could blast the radio without fear of hurting little eardrums or serve up CD's that the evil was not "parentally advised" out of.

It was my duty to oblige, so I did.

I was driving 75mph when my PT Cruisers dream of freedom took over me.

I went back freely. Open to the memories of a time far gone.

I was 21 again, single and hot with no responsibilities. My dark hair was flying on the wind like gymnastic ribbons. My skirt was a little too short, my shirt, two buttons below proper, but I rocked it and did not care what you thought. My skin was light, my eyes dark and my lips, crimson, rivaling the hue of the deepest red roses. There was no schedule or written plan but I had 50 places I could choose from and my phone was ringing off the hook with prospective dates. With a purple Meucci as my co-pilot, I would stake out two pool halls, one for practice and one to really "play the game" in.

My stereo was old school rocking AC/DC- "The Girl's Got Rhythm" and "Squealer" rounding off with "Night Prowler" with some Metallica and Reaper thrown in for good measure. Beer was in the back, Vodka/juice in the front and I was the picture of youth and ignorance. Tunnel vision, tempting fate.

Anything structured would have looked bizarre in that lost moment.

Then I flew passed a broken down minivan. I saw the frazzled mom standing by the tow truck driver. I knew what I would be feeling if that were me, as it had been on many an occasion. How much would this cost? How will I pick up the kids? Why today? Why now? Why me? Tears of questions without concrete answers.

My head went back to family and reality emerged. As I took my foot off the accelerator the years layered on,,, 20's,,,,, 30's edging on the 40's and I looked in the rear view mirror of my newly transformed PT Cruiser and noticed: I feel even cooler than that 21 year old memory of a girl.

I've seen more. I live for more than "me" and the next "hot spot". I've nurtured and am raising humans that have good hearts and sweet souls. I have made a difference somewhere in this world. Someone has looked at me and been thankful I was there at that very moment. I have cried my weight in tears and laughed out loud too many times to count. I have given my heart freely to someone, and when he gave it back broken, I nursed it back to health -and- I AM NOT AFRAID TO RE-GIFT IT!!!!!

I have more to see-----more souls to touch---- transitions to experience---- and I couldn't face that or even imagine doing that back then----- I didn't know how----- but now I do---- and I am thankful.

So now my car is a PT Cruiser again, cherishing each crayon melted art piece.

And as for me:

I am still that mildly wild rocker chic with an always primed Meucci,,,,,, just with a better agenda and some pretty hot smile lines to show off!!

But,,,,,,, I am STILL not happy about Miley Cyrus being in my CD player.....

14 Seducing Deductions:

The Savage said...

Could be worse ya know.. your kids could have developed a love of Yanni.... (shudder)

f1trey said...

cool.......:) rock it girl.......

Ca88andra said...

Oh yes! You do rock! I can so relate to this post - are you sure you weren't looking over my shoulder in my youth?

BamaTrav said...

You could ride with me at Talladega at 188 mph if you just wanted to go fast. Look for the Heffs bar and Grill #22 double duece at the next nationwide race. I'll be the one getting very close to someone's ass. ;)

mac said...

We all must grow up. But a special few can do it while maintaining a child-like exuberace.

Don't ever let anyone take the child from within you. I almost did once...but never again :-)

Jan @ bobbypinsboardwalk said...

You are a rocker with a heart of gold. Thank you for your sweet and encouraging comments today regarding my misguided ottoman. I'll just cover that bedazzled ottoman with a slip-cover, and at some point in the future, perhaps a home will be built in clown-land where it will fit in perfectly (at which point I will pull OFF the slipcover and let it fly away home).

The Invisible Seductress said...

Savage- Yanni???!!! Oh my!! I guess i do have it good then!!! wink

Trey- Always will!! It keeps us young!!

Ca88andra- You too!!! I knew it--I could just tell!! hugs

Bama- That must be an awesome rush--I can only imagine!! I am jealous now!! Really jealous!!!

Mac- I can't imagine life with so many boundaries. I'm glad you got yours back!! I enjoy it!

Jan- That cracked me up!! if I hear of any Clown-land houses can I go with you to release it? i actually liked it and you did a great job on it,,sigh--but still a future release sounds inspirational!!! Hugs

Dutch donut girl said...

You rock, girl! Smile lines are sexy.
Miley Cyrus? *shudders*

Secretia said...

With the right road, and the right music playing, and no time pressure, a nice drive can take you places....

The Savage said...

Your poem is ready and on my blog....

The Invisible Seductress said...

DDG-Yes Miley---ohmanohmanohman--sigh...I love laugh lines and crows feet on men--weird but it's character,, my dad had the best ones EVER!!

Secretia-I love that feel of freedom--even though it's really not..if that makes sense..

Savage- VERY MANY THANKS!!!!!

BamaTrav said...

Is that hip movement speed?

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Another great piece, Seductress. You are definitely in the driver's seat!
Cheers,
Robyn

The Invisible Seductress said...

Bama- Never clocked it before--hmm blush

RRG- Thanks--your post today was amazing--They always are but I just loved todays!!! HUGS

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