Monday, February 8, 2010

Master of ALL Gelatinous Matter!!

I Am

Sometimes things happen and you just gotta ask yourself: WHAT THE HALIBUT????!!!!

This happens a lot if you own children and have misplaced the manual (been looking for that damn book for 11 years now!!) or if their remote control is out of batteries.

I guess when you have tween girls that share a room, "tagging" things with their name should be expected. That is the only reason possible I can come up with for why in the hell they wrote their names on their mattresses and pillows. This is what would have to happen for unnamed mattresses EVER to be an issue:

1. Natural Disaster
2. Looting (desperate looters taking mattresses AND pillows- Stage 4 looting!)
3. Possessions recovered
4. Called to the police station to identify items
5. Mattress ownership positively identified (tragedy of sleeping on sisters funky mattress averted)

So yes, the scrawling of names on items burns me up. It's not even "pride of ownership" naming which I would understand to a degree, it's line down the middle of the room petty ownership stuff (do little boys pee around the perimeter of their items to mark them?? Oh man, I am in trouble!!!) .

I asked the girls if they wanted their own rooms one time. I got a resounding "YES" from DramaGirl and a resounding "NO" from MsDebate. The reason for the "NO" was simply stated as follows: "She is my entertainment!". Interesting!!

I tagged things in my room as a tween so I understand the concept. On the underside of a shelving unit I started a "tick mark" collection. On one side were marks for each boy I wanted to kiss,, on the other,, marks for each boy I DID kiss. One side looked like a FOREST and the other a TREE. I'll let you figure out which was which.

This morning I went into my angels' room to get sheets for washing. While I was trying desperately not to look down for fear of an anger outburst at the messes they were supposed to clean up, I saw the following new "tagged" message:

Yes folks,,, that says PUDDING MASTER!!!

My 11 year old is evidently the PUDDING MASTER!!! WHO KNEW?????? All this time I thought she would travel thousands of miles and toil through many decades to find her destiny..... But low and behold it has been bestowed upon her at such a tender age! I am so jealous!!

Now I guess at 11 if you are going to be the master of something,,, pudding WOULD be a great place to start,, creamy chocolate with that nasty looking, but oh so tasty skin layer thingy on memory coma......droooooool..........Ok,,, all better now.........

Yes, being pudding master might be just fine for our family. But why in the halibut would you write it on the exact middle of your bedpost?????!!! Excuse me for trying to have nice things here kids,,, geesh........But yes, I did have to laugh at the randomness of the statement (which reminded me -of me- and made me fear her future)......

..... as a side note she also wrote "My mom is MOMTASTIC!!!!!" (in the corner---in much smaller writing---- and possibly only written to temper my anger for the brazen PUDDING MASTER claim----because all intelligent Masters of Pudding know--- they can still get grounded--- and be forced to--- sandpaper--- and--- refinish--- bedroom furniture!!!)

Now I must go "tag" MY BEDPOST with the words "GREEN OLIVE WARRIOR QUEEN"...

Yes, I'll take a picture for you!

2 Seducing Deductions:

Ca88andra said...

I'm thinking boredom? I'm sure my boys were just bored when they drew on everything they could and then colored it in!!! Of course this was years ago...

The Invisible Seductress said...

I hope it ends....sigh......

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