Friday, February 5, 2010

Boobies and Mascara--WITH PICTURES!!!

That was just wrong... I know, I know,, but somehow I am not feeling bad for misleading you in thinking there will be a boobie shot because - this is actually a two-fer-one blog post, and that's me flexing my mad value skilz!! You are so welcome!!!! That's just how I roll up in this joint!!!

Talking about value......
(clap for the master of all transition writers,,, me,, ha,, no really,, clap dang it)
.
I want to show you something.
I am sick
this picture proves it:

https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=5adc40055a&view=att&th=1269e3bef799d52e&attid=0&disp=inline&zw

That folks---is an ass load of mascara. And I even have more. This was cleaned out of my purse and main make-up bag last night. I was a little bit shocked but have always been aware that there was a problem with my mascara happy little brain.

**plumping. lengthening. thickening. coloring. strengthening. de-clumping. volumizing**

They all have something I want. I get all tingly and happy inside when I see a new mascara commercial,,,, and I must posses it expediently after it arrives on the shelf and is touted as "fan-lash-tic". Simple pleasures are the best sometimes..

I guess there could be worse addictions but at $10 a pop this is something I have to deal with now. My lashes and I have to have a serious talk about their expectations and needs in a mascara regimen. So call off the intervention but please send restraint vibes,, I am weak.

Tomorrow, I clean out my lip gloss drawer... and then the fingernail polish receptacle...sigh

PRAY FOR ME!!!


*********************************
Bonus Post!!!!
***********************

This is a conversation between me and the kids on a shopping adventure yesterday after school...

Please enjoy...


DramaGirl: Mom, I need a bra! (matter-of-factly stated while holding out completely flat chest)


MsDebate: (laughing) You got NOTHING! 9 year old's DO NOT need a bra! I need more bras!! 11 year old's MUST have bras!! Mom, we should by me some pretty bra's and panties today!

Me: (Speechless yet shuttering at the thought that she now CARES that her undergarments are frilly and nice)..

DramaGirl: You don't get bra's, you get a TRAINING bra's (Strong emphasis on TRAINING)! Your "boobs" are still in TRAINING (sung in a hip hop fashion)

Me: (laughing, nothing to do but wait until my wisdom is needed)

DramaGirl: My boobs are "mini", that's the size AFTER "beginner". (spoken with clinically advanced boobie sizing knowledge)

MsDebate: NO,,,, your "BOOOOBS" are non-existent, I think they even go IN instead of OUT!!- My Boobs are "MINI", no,,,, my boobs are "MODERATE"!! (pulling shirt tight against bumps)

Me: (laughing, setting up for the wisdom pounce, but glancing quickly to see if DramaGirl's Boobs go IN instead of OUT)

DramaGirl: Your bra STILL says TRAINING--(laughing again)

Me: What size are my boobs then? (I say forgoing wisdom for my own entertainment purposes)

The girls stop and look at each other, perplexed at the question and the gravity of sizing my sultry curves..

--------------------Dramatic pause-------------------------

DramaGirl: Mega adult... Yes Mom!!! They are MEGA-ADULT.....

WHO KNEW?????????

.......Sadly Walmart does not carry that size!!

And just because I heart you!!!!!
And want you to be happy..I added this picture:


http://smmw3.com/jakesawesomesite/images/stories/boobie%20bird.jpg

stop motorboatin'!!!!!! GEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Wonder if they make mascara in that shade of blue??)

4 Seducing Deductions:

f1trey said...

OMG wait till traxx says MOM I need a _________ hehehe

Blasé said...

I've experienced a few "MEGAs" in my day. They're nice...until the back gets tired of supporting them (from what I've been told).

hmm, I've never thought of it till now...but I think blue nipples would freak me out!

Ca88andra said...

This just enforces how glad I am to have boys!!! and reminds me I must buy some nailpolish and lipstick for the wedding next week.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Trey----gasp---noooooooooooooo!!!!

Blase-Laughing----Avatar nipples!!! um-er--that was just wrong!!

Ca88andra-I hope you find the perfect shade!!! I really like the Covergirl Outlast lip stain! It stays on forever and the lighter shades are so natural, I add a the outlast top coat-- divine--man I need therapy!!!! hugs!!

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