Just BE

I was 19 and dating a Navy boy with steely blue eyes and a truck jacked up so high I needed step ladder assistance to enter. He had a quiet sense of humor and soft hands that enveloped mine perfectly. He sang to me in a deep twangy country voice while playing his six string adeptly. We danced the two-step under the stars to Randy Travis' "Forever and always, Amen". He kissed me softly after singing "You look wonderful tonight". He promised me that country boys never hurt their ladies and I was safe. He worked at pulling me from my dark rocker chic world into his cowboy hat and boots existence. I stopped wearing tight jeans and concert t-shirts in exchange for boot cuts and white lace button downs. His disheveled sun kissed hair and crooked smile won my heart. I tried so hard to be what he wanted.

One day he asked to take me to the Navy base to meet friends and see his barracks. I complied with everything he ever wanted. I bought a bright summery patterned dress with matching strappy high heel sandals and clutch. I worked for hours on my hair and make up to impress him and his Navy friends. I was a country "Stepford" girlfriend.

On base we had to walk for a while to get to the barracks. My heels kept getting stuck in the mud and grime so he picked me up and carried me to the sidewalk grumbling about my choice in shoes. The building was buzzing with activity and my "leader" knew everyone.

There was a check in point at the bottom of a two level staircase. Two men sat at a table taking identification from civilians and signing us in. I was flirty and fun that day, I remember thinking I was fantastic and all my hard work had paid off, he would be mine. The journey up the steep staircase in my strappy hell devices was shaky and painful. He held my hand with tight ownership and I never let on about my discomfort.

I was two steps from the top when it happened. I misstepped and tumbled backwards. I bounced like the red ball on top of the words of a sing-a-long video. Legs and arms flailed every where as I let out a grunt with each abusive hit of the wall and stairs. Finally, at the very bottom I looked up to face the men at the check in table (again) with alligator tears streaming down my face. I stammered the words "I do all my own stunts" and sat up in pain. Navy boyfriend ran down to help me but looked angry. Check in officer laughed and said "We already had you signed in ma'am but thank you for your concern!" A bone was broken and I was bruised and bloody. Mr. "a country boy never hurts their lady" broke up with me in the emergency room waiting area.

Damn TRIANGLES!!!!

But Navy sign-in officer had taken an interest even after the "greatest date fall" in history and came to the hospital to check on me after his shift... AND he stayed with me through the night of x-rays and head trauma monitoring... AND he went and got me a white rose and a Mountain Dew to take with my "to strong for me" pain meds ... AND he was a rocker boy with dark hair and steamy brown eyes... AND he had a black low-rider Monte Carlo with AC/DC blaring through the speakers... AND he LIKED my wild hair and dark painted eyes... AND he was impressed at my concert t-shirt collection and tattoo ideas... AND he kissed me in the mosh pit of a bad local metal band's concert.......

... And suddenly it all made sense:

Be who you are

Be clutzy

Be wild

Be sexy

Be gooberish

Be adoring

Be alluring

Be selective

Be a non-conformist

Be challenging but open

Be patient (not A PATIENT,,wink)

Be your FANTASTIC self

Be confident but humbled

Be defiant

Be complete but never done

Be radiant

Be painfully aware

Be side-splittingly funny

Be concerned

Be seductive

Be a force

Be a necessity

Be a beginning to a chapter

Be an end to a means

Be a mystery

Be proud of your scars

Be willing to get more

Be a priority

Be #1 on someones "to do" list....(wink)

Be creative

Be pushing when some one's shoving

Be kicking names and taking ass (or something like that!)

And when all else fails------Just BE!

....please add to the "BE" list to the comment section BELOW :)

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You can't depend on somebody else to bring you happiness.

You have to find that for yourself and let someone else enhance it.

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"So Seductress,,,,What are your Valentine's day plans??" You ask sweetly while offering a Valentine's Day gift of Chocolate Covered Crickets and Red Lollipops with scorpions in them....... (you always were a little weird)...

Well,,,,,,, I will do as my mom suggested I do on Valentines day:

Enjoy a lot of cheap warm beer and sub-par chocolate knowing that the chilled Champagne and finest confectioneries will taste so much sweeter when they arrive.......AND.....................................

ROCK it ON like DONKEY KONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....Easy Fella' Momma's here!!