Saturday, January 23, 2010

Issues



Our peanut butter went bad. I don't know how that happened because peanut butter theoretically SHOULD outlast Dick Clark.

I told my son, who has had his life sustained on PB&J's that our peanut butter "HAS ISSUES" and that's why there is just jelly on his bread. This seemed to satisfy him until the next PB&J time when he once again questioned angrily the validity and enjoyment factor of a "jelly only" sandwich offering.

Certainly without the peanut butter our lives are lackluster at best. I mean we can't even REALLY do the always inspiring "Peanut Butter Jelly time " dance with any credibility!!! (Song is added above for your dancing and singing enjoyment, you are so welcome!!)

Without THAT dance I believe my "mommy star quality" is depleted greatly, and this saddens me.

Traxx is doing well and seems to be getting on with his life. He has however adopted a new phrase in this traumatic time. Anytime something DOES NOT work or seem RIGHT to him in any way, he quips wittily "IT HAS ISSUES!!".

No, I CAN'T take a nap because this pillow "HAS ISSUES" mommy!!!

No, I CAN'T ----just drink water--- because our water "HAS ISSUES"!!!
---countered swiftly by: "That soda DOES NOT ---"HAVE ISSUES" mommy!!!!"--------

As I parented him with verbally strong words for putting hair gel in his hair (the whole container,, we'll be faux hawking for weeks!!!) he proudly stated:

"Mommy".......(dramatic pause)........"YOU HAVIN' ISSUES,,,,,,(with the big eyed sweet face he continues),, like our peanut butter????????"

"Yes son,,, I have a few "ISSUES"!!!!!

If life were only THAT simple!!!! And our "ISSUES" were as innocent as a toddlers!!!!

Then we could do the peanut butter jelly dance everyday with gusto and live happily ever after!!!

Hey!! I ALREADY do the peanut butter jelly dance everyday!!!!!!

ROCK ON ME!!!!!!

10 Seducing Deductions:

Tamara said...

Was the peanut butter moldering??? I love peanut butter, could eat it every single day!

The Invisible Seductress said...

It had that smelly oil thang goin' on!!! Just didn't look safe to feed a growing spawn..I woulda probably ate it though...sigh..I'm "zany" that way....smiling.....

f1trey said...

Ifn it had been cheez whiz issues........ weda had problems..........cuz i dont know the cheez whiz dance......

ps is there an admission charge to watch you do this jig? hehehe

The Invisible Seductress said...

No i will tape it for you and send it ASAP!!! wink


hey---I could make up a cheez whiz dance for ya!!!

Spuds said...

I only have a "Mashed Potato" dance. It's really quite complicated. A lot of it is very "mental" with very little actual movement. It's a very advanced dance! See... I'm doing it now....

Ca88andra said...

Ahhhh PBJ sandwiches, brings back memories, and I have to admit I didnt think peanut butter ever went off! Laughed at the whole "issues" thing - more memories of my sons at that age - lol.

The Invisible Seductress said...

mashed potato dance eh??? hmmmmmm

Ca88andra- this age is so great--wish he'd stop now!!

Geof said...

hahaha I haven't heard the PBJ Time song since I saw Brian do it on a Family Guy re-run a couple years back. lol

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

This is hilarious. Perhaps the only thing in this world without issues is a good ole fashioned PB&J sandwich.
Cheers, Seductress.
Robyn :)

The Invisible Seductress said...

...nothing better then the simplicity of that!! I agree RR-
Geof--did ya dance along??? With a bat???

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