Socks and gasoline

I was a angelic kid. As a teenager my escapades were mild. Still there were some instances that if I imagine my girls living them,, my chest hurts.

(gimme a minute here,,, breathe,,, cough).

OK.....

Little things like:

.... having a wet t-shirt contest on the hood of a truck in the middle of a parking lot....(I know!!! OMG!!! Like anyone could EVER beat me!!!!).

.... or maybe being so drunk that I pushed my best friends HA-UGE chest of drawers around her room. (Damn thing was covering the door and I needed to use the restroom. I ended up gakking. When her mom came in my friend was caught on the floor cleaning it up with my sock).

.... The caves and Grapefruit Mad Dog 20/20
(uh, yes, that's ALL I am gonna say 'bout that)



But again all-in-all I was a good kid. My dad was the early version of Jeff Probst. He and I duked it out in a battle of wits for my freedom.

OUTWIT---OUTLAST---OUTPLAY

....if I could come up with a way to do all three of those things, I normally would not be in trouble when caught up to something sketchy.

You need an example.

Wanna hear about it? Of course you do!!! Here I go:

The Coastal Carolina Fair was in town and it was "Midnight Madness"!!! My curfew WAS midnight!!
How can you go to "midnight madness" if your curfew is MIDNIGHT??????
Man that made total sense to me.
This curfew needed to be extended (dur).

So we started early in a series of notes hanging on my door.

.....Dad, please let me stay out late Friday night,,, it's MIDNIGHT MADNESS and I love you!!!!

.....Daughter, your curfew is still MIDNIGHT and I LOVE YOU!

....PLEASE DAD!!

.....YOUR SHOES BETTER HIT THE FLOOR AT MIDNIGHT!!!

Well,,,,,, there was a PERFECT move to make here.

In hindsight maybe I was pushing it a bit when I opened the door at midnight and dropped my shoes on the floor---and left-----.

One time I bought Tupperware for evidence that I was REALLY at a Tupperware party (cause I am intelligent and I heart "burp" lids!!)..

Another instance we were ALMOST caught. I saved the night with my quick thinking and verbal prowess.

It went something like this:

"Well,, where WERE you?????"

"I was uh, bowling...It was sooo fun, I gotta high score!!!"

"Hmmmm,,,, what was your score??"

".............................................UH.....(----CRAP----I've never bowled before---geeze---- I'm a MORON!!!----sweating----what's a good score----please God---what's a good score????)"

"************************300***************************"

"......Really??? That's FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

......WHERE WERE YOU?????????????????????"

.......the caves and Grapefruit Mad Dog 20/20
.......that's all I want to say 'bout that!!!

The nectar of good girls gone wild "for the night" and producer of staggering, slurred speech and the fine art of pavement urination.