Saturday, January 9, 2010

I love Traxx!!

I think maybe I have come to another crossroad. I have promptly turned around and ran back to the LAST crossroad I experienced. But that is not really what the world is about. I can not choose to not choose a direction here. And it won't get chosen for me. With that being said:

What do I do to relieve this stress????

Drinking is not an option because of health issues and I'm not stupid enough to start
I don't do drugs (crack is whack,,,, laughing)
I have NO money to shop (MASCARA GODS PLEASE VISIT AND ACCEPT MY OFFERINGS)
I am not going to eat my way out (I'm too lazy and chewing is strenuous)
Exercise.....(see above remark about chewing and deduce what you would like,, but this one I HAVE been working on)

AND

I am not having sex (blush.... no really blush......move along people,, nothing to see here!!!)

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*****The following is a diversion from the original blog content*****

.......did you hear about what sex addiction is doing to the squirrels????

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3481/3292331585_64cb01f2f6.jpg

Squaids is an epidemic!!!!
(don't bash me,, that was a joke!)

*****Now back to your original blog content, already in progress*****

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So,,,,anywhooooooo,,,,,,,,what's a gal to do with her stress????

I choose sarcasm. Because wiping a toddlers ass all day dictates that I should have a sense of humor about life. Otherwise it would just be crappy all the time--really crappy!!!

So the other night I was up at about 11PM. Hoover was sleeping soundly. I thought "Hey,, lets do up the nails all special like!" And I even answered "OK,, go pick out a fabulous color and I'll meet ya back here on the couch!!"

A few moments later I had chosen a base of "Pink Champagne" and a topper of "Party Light Sparkles". I laboriously took old polish off, re-polished and then delicately layered on the "Party Light Sparkles". There were 10 perfect little paintings worthy of "The Met". I waved them around for drying and talked to them one by one:

"and who's a pretty nail---YOU are!!!"

and

"who's mommas favorite sparkly digit?? Ohhhhhhhhh that's YOU pointer!!"

But then Hoovers butt alarm went off....And this problem he has been having for a few weeks of not understanding "emergent poop issues" popped up AGAIN. And after 5 times during the day of making the "scrub" or "toss" poopie toddler undie decision, I was faced with it AGAIN, this time with perfectly polished (yet still wet) nails and a smidgen of a bad attitude.

I am now removing his dubbed Sir name of "Hoover" (which was in respect to the order of "eating ravenously"), to call him "Traxx"(which is in respect to the order of "poop remnants left in underpants"). Please adjust your reading habits and memory adapters accordingly to reflect this change.


No squirrels were hurt in the making of this blog. I am sure THAT squirrel had just eaten a big pie and was resting, he really does not have "Squaids" someone just made that word up. For some reason I thought it was funny- and I'm sorry- not really really sorry- but sorry a little bit if it offends any of you squirrels reading my blog,, the corn is in the mail....

2 Seducing Deductions:

f1trey said...

hehehehe this is NOT a body fluid free zone so.... hehehe traxx it is!

The Invisible Seductress said...

laughing---

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