In theory

I HAVE A THEORY

I see you,,, scootin' to the edge of your seat,,, lowering your head to move in closer to the screen,, you are captivated by what the Seductress could possibly have to share with you......

Well,, back up already,, it only effects me..

Wanna hear about it?? Of COURSE you do!!!! Here I go:

Gravity Hates Me!!!
shhhhh

Yes you heard that right,,, gravity,,, it HATES me. Oh yes,, I have been known to DEFY it in a feet overhead bruisin' bum escapade or ten... But,,,, I can't "Bend it like Beckham" (no wait that was just a soccer kick)-- or even come close to jumping high enough to make a decent basketball dunk shot (hell,, that was "White men can't jump"). Anyway,,, stop nit-pickin' me and just believe me.....I heart it, but it doesn't accept my love.

We danced today,, me and gravity.

I was not the winner..

Well played gravity,, WELL PLAYED!!!!!

Now I have a bruise on both ass cheeks in the shape of the oversize decorative buttons on the ass plackets of my jean shorts. Would this NOT ONLY happen to me????????

Maybe it has something to do with being short. Maybe the air down here is less supportive and stable. But if that were true then the dwarfs would be flying past us doing "their own stunts" at epidemic rates. They seem to be stable.

Now I am not trying to make fun of little people here. By all accounts I got jipped out of being one by an inch,, so I get it..... ----- If I were 1 inch shorter I could garner government assistance for having a disability------ If I were two inches shorter, legally I would have to be in a booster seat to drive

---- And ----

----There was a rumor going around that at 4'11" your very own Invisible Seductress could participate in the Dwarf Olympics!!

But,,, God did not smile down upon me. According to the Dwarf Athletic Association of America guidelines, the following height requirements exist:

Eligibility

Due to the medical nature of dwarfism, the DAAA has certain requirements that must be met for eligibility^[3]. These requirements include (but are not limited to):

• Disproportionate dwarves (usually with a chondrodysplasia who are less than (or equal to) five feet tall and proportionate dwarves with a height that is less than or equal to four feet ten inches are usually eligible to compete^[3]

I am proportionate. Except maybe my boobs,, and my heart,, and maybe my hair is a bit big... but other than that...

The US Dwarf Olympic Bocce team will never be the same without me!!!!