Sending out an S.O.S.

I am sending out an SOS.....Save Our Seductress. Today is the first full day of summer vacation.

They currently have me gagged and bound, I have escaped from the back room to beg for help,, they were attached to TV consuming SpongeBob by sucking it through their alien tongues and failed to see me crawling on my stomach to get to you and plea for your help... I have sustained life by eating crumbs off of the floor during my crawl as they have shoveled down all of the food in the house. I am typing with one: " HEY!!! Let's do each other's toenails!!" purple sparkly toe.

Of the 2,052 Pop-Ice's I purchased YESTERDAY in preparation for our "IT'S SUMMER,,,,,, YAY!!!!" celebration,, only the yellow ones cling to their existence at the bottom of the freezer,, they are sad and forlorn because they taste like medicine,, yellow pop-ice's cry out to be enjoyed,, it sounds similar to whales singing in the ocean,, no wait,, That's Justin Beiber singing "Baby"............again.......

I had heard Justin Beiber 1,952 times before 10 Am. The aliens practice his mating ritualistic dance by choreographing it in the living room while they DEMAND I watch convulsive moves and sing along with each badly rhymed chorus. I deduce it is a mind control tactic and count one Mississippi,, two Mississippi,, three Mississippi and so forth in my head to block the powerful messages from penetrating,, I thought it was working until I found myself brushing my hair in my face like Cousin It of The Adams Family (snap, snap) and getting acne breakouts.

In a bold move I actually ask to hear Kesha. The aliens deduce that this is a positive suggestion and there is much dancing and flipping of hair. I have now heard Tik Tok 20 times already and wish to be allowed possession of pencils as to poke out my ear drums.

The aliens will unhook themselves from the TV and computer periodically to clog my toilet with their extremely large droppings and complain about the lack of food in the house.

I must go, it is not safe for me here,, a Kraft Mac and Cheese commercial just came on and I hear rifling through my cabinets and talk of finding "Mom" to cook it. Who is this "Mom" I hear talk of?? Eeeeeeeeeeep,,,,,

.......They have recognized me..........

.......Please hurry.................................