Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Nightmare on MY street!!

scared cat Pictures, Images and Photos

Oh well, I guess it really wasn't THAT bad... I suppose I am exaggerating a whole heck of a lot here for effect. Because if I came right out and just told ya what happened you likely would just think it is silly. Because it is,, silly that is. It's a silly true story about me, unknowingly scaring the bejezuz juice out of my son. You know Traxx, the kid who put apples in my toilet. Yes him.. Superman himself.

All day I was dancing and playing around with him and singing. I sing a lot around here. It even annoys me sometimes, but Traxx ALWAYS sings with me. It's not rare for my little crew and I to break out in show tunes for no apparent reason, the girls both roll their eyes, but they jump in faster than a kangaroo on speed. This is part of the joy and wonder of being my spawn, well that, the burnt popcorn and the dancing.

sad Pictures, Images and Photos

Yes,,, I dance a lot too, it even annoys me sometimes. But when we all break into a finely choreographed Broadway show, for no apparent reason, it is MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!!

Wouldn't you and the mental health authorities like to be a fly on MY wall !!!!

sad Pictures, Images and Photos


Please enjoy a snippet of this highly acclaimed Broadway adaptation:

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Hey,,,,,,, you wanna sandwich....Yes.yes,yes,YES, we want a sandwich (leg kick, turn, sache),,, TUNA, would you like TUNA??,,, A TUNA sandwich luuuuuuunch ...(the harmony breaks in, in the musical stylings of: Row, Row, Row, your boat)...yes,yes,yes,yes,yes,,, We want a TUNA sandwich,, TOASTED,,, on toasted bread...that's right,,,

*** 15 Second Intermission ***

(insert your basic elevator music)

Tuna Sandwich Pictures, Images and Photos

A toasted TUUUUUUUNA,,,(Fancy "Dirty Dancing" type run and catch move here)....We all want toasted,,, (heel, kick, turn, sacheeeee) (and the third tenor breaks in).... MA-yo,,, I'd like light MA-yo (swivel turn bend, up, swivel turn sache)...... MAYO,,, mayo, mayo, yes, light mayooooo... Do you want cheese, do you want a slice of cheeeeeeese,doyouwantcheeeese,,doyouwantcheeeese,,yes, please,,yes,yes,yes,yes,please swiss cheeeese....MELTED,, MELTED CHEESE,, on toasted bread,, (hold hands and swing arms while slowly kicking in perfected unison) with light mayo... (big kick finale).... Yes,, please ...(windmills)............da.da.da.dee.daa.daa....

"I just want a Jelly sandwich mom"...

Smiley surprised Pictures, Images and Photos

...... shock,,,,, gasp ,,,,, stare ......

(hands on hips)

That Traxx

*sigh*

Always ruining my big Broadway finish!!!

All day yesterday I was going around singing the esteemed Gloria Estefan's song "The rhythm is gonna get you" because I had posted about it. It was stuck in my head like a fly on a honey jar, and no matter how much soda I drank or jelly beans I ate, it won't go away, and by soda I mean Vodka, and by jelly beans, I mean Xanex,, but whatever.

So anyway I did not notice that Traxx was not singing OR dancing with me. So I was all like:

The Rhythm is gonna GET'CHA,, TONIGHT!!! Tonight, tonight, tonight... (I added re verb here just in case you missed it)

And started poking him in the chest teasingly.

Whilst I was dancing and singing, girls jumping in on the fun, Gloria called to tell me what a nice job we were doing, offered me a spot on tour with her and The Miami Sound Machine, I am considering it, but nervous about giving up ALL of this glamour and arse wiping...

And now it is bed time and Traxx will not go to bed. He is scared. Why is he scared. He does not tell me until I break it out of him with a sip of milk and a circley back rub....

"I CAN'T sleep acause da rhydum is gonna get me - toooNIGHT..."

I say, shit.....shit.....shit..... (in my head only of course).....(facepalm).....That WOULD sound scary to a kid....... Why didn't I think of that???

"I did sing you that about 150 times didn't I? Do you know what rhythm is?"

"I don't want it to GET us!"

So me and the girls are trying not to laugh and trying to let this end,, but it is REALLY funny because he is making that puppy face I love soooo much and saying really funny things,,,,,and the temptation of asking a lot of questions to get a lot more funny toddler responses is soooo strong,,, but,,,, I am a good mom (cough) and decided to end it.

Only nothing worked,,,,,,,,, UNTIL,,,,,,, I brought out my ACE in the hole.

JUSTIN BEIBER

"Traxx, you know how when a Justin Beiber song comes on and you HAVE to start dancing because you like his (stupid) songs SOOOO much??"

(I throw up a little in my mouth but continue, bravely)

"Well,,, when THAT happens, the rhythm "got you"!!!"

"The rhythm is just songs you love and want to dance to,, it's all about dancing."

(silence and crickets)

(I pop the oldest in the arm because she is laughing)

"YeOUCH MOM,,,, WHAT???!!!"

(silence)

"Traxx,, do you understand what rhythm is now?"

Sweet face looks up, he grabs my hand....

"OK,,, just let it get me amorrow then"

And with that,, he finally fell asleep. First thing he said this morning was:

"Rhydum get me TODAY???"

Which means I will be listening to you know who 1,029 times today.... Cripes.... Me thinks the punishment does not match the crime!!!

"Facepalm" montage anyone?

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8 Seducing Deductions:

Sir Thomas said...

beautiful story... *laughs*

I want proof of the dancing and singing though. yeah I'm calling you out... a short youtube production should be fine say about 5 mins or so....

get busy girl friend...

Dutch donut girl said...

Hahaaaaaaaaa!
Justin Bieber, the new Freddy Krueger.
So cute.

Dance baby dance!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Okay that is my favorite story of yours yet. I would have told him that the 'rhythm' is the least scary thing that could 'getcha' and then proceed to rattle off my top ten list that would include, octopus, bot flies, bears, bees, republicans, ect... That is why you are the parent and I am not. Though I would fit perfectly into that little show tune troop you are raising there. I do loves me some musical theatre.

Micael "Rabbit" Chadwick said...

Ohh-ay ohh-ay!

Ohh-ay! Ohh! Ohh! Ah!

TONIGHT!

(Gee thanks! Stuck in a hospital room by myself with THAT in my head! HA HA HA! Imagine the costumes I can make out of hspital gowns....)

Cheeseboy said...

Lunch Order! Now that is a show even a straight guy like I could get into.

Missed Periods said...

Wow. That was an amazing post. Your son thinking the rhythm was going to get him, the facepalm montage, and maybe my favorite thing I have read all day:
."...and no matter how much soda I drank or jelly beans I ate, it won't go away, and by soda I mean Vodka, and by jelly beans, I mean Xanex,, but whatever."

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

This story is precious and priceless and all things good, just like your kids and their mommy.
xoRobyn

The Invisible Seductress said...

Sir- I am on it....But I have to say even though these productions are finely choreographed-execution is clumsy.. smiling

DDG- He is scary....still dancing....hope you are today!!

Cal- laughing--me too ;}

Rabbit- There are worse songs I think..I think...;} hugs to you!!!

Cheeseboy- Its a nice one I think...You should see the toothbrushing production--kinda like RENT only with spitting sounds..;0

Missed P- Come over for soda and jelly beans any time!!!! smiling.

RRG- Awww----u awesomepants you!!

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