Nightmare on MY street!!

Oh well, I guess it really wasn't THAT bad... I suppose I am exaggerating a whole heck of a lot here for effect. Because if I came right out and just told ya what happened you likely would just think it is silly. Because it is,, silly that is. It's a silly true story about me, unknowingly scaring the bejezuz juice out of my son. You know Traxx, the kid who put apples in my toilet. Yes him.. Superman himself.

All day I was dancing and playing around with him and singing. I sing a lot around here. It even annoys me sometimes, but Traxx ALWAYS sings with me. It's not rare for my little crew and I to break out in show tunes for no apparent reason, the girls both roll their eyes, but they jump in faster than a kangaroo on speed. This is part of the joy and wonder of being my spawn, well that, the burnt popcorn and the dancing.

Yes,,, I dance a lot too, it even annoys me sometimes. But when we all break into a finely choreographed Broadway show, for no apparent reason, it is MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!!

Wouldn't you and the mental health authorities like to be a fly on MY wall !!!!

Please enjoy a snippet of this highly acclaimed Broadway adaptation:

Hey,,,,,,, you wanna sandwich....Yes.yes,yes,YES, we want a sandwich (leg kick, turn, sache),,, TUNA, would you like TUNA??,,, A TUNA sandwich luuuuuuunch ...(the harmony breaks in, in the musical stylings of: Row, Row, Row, your boat)...yes,yes,yes,yes,yes,,, We want a TUNA sandwich,, TOASTED,,, on toasted bread...that's right,,,

*** 15 Second Intermission ***

(insert your basic elevator music)

A toasted TUUUUUUUNA,,,(Fancy "Dirty Dancing" type run and catch move here)....We all want toasted,,, (heel, kick, turn, sacheeeee) (and the third tenor breaks in).... MA-yo,,, I'd like light MA-yo (swivel turn bend, up, swivel turn sache)...... MAYO,,, mayo, mayo, yes, light mayooooo... Do you want cheese, do you want a slice of cheeeeeeese,doyouwantcheeeese,,doyouwantcheeeese,,yes, please,,yes,yes,yes,yes,please swiss cheeeese....MELTED,, MELTED CHEESE,, on toasted bread,, (hold hands and swing arms while slowly kicking in perfected unison) with light mayo... (big kick finale).... Yes,, please ...(windmills)............da.da.da.dee.daa.daa....

"I just want a Jelly sandwich mom"...

...... shock,,,,, gasp ,,,,, stare ......

(hands on hips)

That Traxx

*sigh*

Always ruining my big Broadway finish!!!

All day yesterday I was going around singing the esteemed Gloria Estefan's song "The rhythm is gonna get you" because I had posted about it. It was stuck in my head like a fly on a honey jar, and no matter how much soda I drank or jelly beans I ate, it won't go away, and by soda I mean Vodka, and by jelly beans, I mean Xanex,, but whatever.

So anyway I did not notice that Traxx was not singing OR dancing with me. So I was all like:

The Rhythm is gonna GET'CHA,, TONIGHT!!! Tonight, tonight, tonight... (I added re verb here just in case you missed it)

And started poking him in the chest teasingly.

Whilst I was dancing and singing, girls jumping in on the fun, Gloria called to tell me what a nice job we were doing, offered me a spot on tour with her and The Miami Sound Machine, I am considering it, but nervous about giving up ALL of this glamour and arse wiping...

And now it is bed time and Traxx will not go to bed. He is scared. Why is he scared. He does not tell me until I break it out of him with a sip of milk and a circley back rub....

"I CAN'T sleep acause da rhydum is gonna get me - toooNIGHT..."

I say, shit.....shit.....shit..... (in my head only of course).....(facepalm).....That WOULD sound scary to a kid....... Why didn't I think of that???

"I did sing you that about 150 times didn't I? Do you know what rhythm is?"

"I don't want it to GET us!"

So me and the girls are trying not to laugh and trying to let this end,, but it is REALLY funny because he is making that puppy face I love soooo much and saying really funny things,,,,,and the temptation of asking a lot of questions to get a lot more funny toddler responses is soooo strong,,, but,,,, I am a good mom (cough) and decided to end it.

Only nothing worked,,,,,,,,, UNTIL,,,,,,, I brought out my ACE in the hole.

JUSTIN BEIBER

"Traxx, you know how when a Justin Beiber song comes on and you HAVE to start dancing because you like his (stupid) songs SOOOO much??"

(I throw up a little in my mouth but continue, bravely)

"Well,,, when THAT happens, the rhythm "got you"!!!"

"The rhythm is just songs you love and want to dance to,, it's all about dancing."

(silence and crickets)

(I pop the oldest in the arm because she is laughing)

"YeOUCH MOM,,,, WHAT???!!!"

(silence)

"Traxx,, do you understand what rhythm is now?"

Sweet face looks up, he grabs my hand....

"OK,,, just let it get me amorrow then"

And with that,, he finally fell asleep. First thing he said this morning was:

"Rhydum get me TODAY???"

Which means I will be listening to you know who 1,029 times today.... Cripes.... Me thinks the punishment does not match the crime!!!

"Facepalm" montage anyone?