FIERCE

Fierce... just... Fierce... This would describe me yesterday...

... or was that Clumsy... just Clumsy... Dammit!!!

Sadly,,, I think the second one had it all wrapped up for the day... It started out OK,,, I mean,,, I had some errands to run and I felt like dressing up a little,,, so I was dressed to the "sevens",,, two lower than the touted "nines" of fashion lore,,, but still appropriate,,, actually over dressed in considering the fact that I was going to Dollar General,,, Walmart's bitch...

I went in with a game plan,,, shampoo,,, body soap and spam,,, they have the BEST Spam there!!! (cough,,, that was a joke,,, all spam sucks!!!)

I got my Dollar General on pretty good,,, the trip was going pretty smoothly,,, Traxx was behaving,,, the girls were at their dads,,, I had a little extra time,,, I could roam a bit,,, had I felt the urge to roam,,, in Dollar General,,, which would be sad,,, and a bit depressing,,, that I would CHOOSE roaming Dollar General as a suitable past time,,, but I did,,, and it WAS sad,,, and a bit depressing,,, roaming Dollar General today,,, but there was an upside...

You see,,, Dollar General had my favorite Mascara on sale!!! (10 points if you remember what kind it is) I was happy,,, holding cosmetic gold,,, cosmetic gold on clearance,,, GASP,,, fondling mascara like a newly paroled make-up molester,,, a pharmaceutical predator,,, my lashes start singing with joy,,, thanking the mascara for it's plumping and lengthening,,, batting in a fantastic lure and seduction dance... And I,,, well I just let my lashes have center stage for a moment,,, the spotlight,,, celebrity status,,, they deserved it,,, they sang well,,, much applause was given,,, by me,,, no one else noticed,,, it was after all,,, just in my imagination,,, unless you believe,,, do you believe??? If you do,,, you would have heard my lashes singing,,, a concert of Butterfly kisses and falsies (in falsetto if you will) it was a fine,,, fine show... Musical virtuoso's those lashes are,,, but I must move on,,, there is more depressing Dollar General roaming to be done...

Bread,,, I need bread... I keep forgetting bread... Poor people must have bread,,, to serve to the servant children with water,,, heated water,,, with a stolen packet of ketchup stirred in,,, a poor mans tomato soup if you will...

I kid,,, I kid,,, I just give them plain water,,, unheated,,, it cost money to heat water,,, and it's harder to steal ketchup from fast food joints these days,,, having to "ask" for condiments,,, as they are available "on request only",,, whatever,,, who burped up that rule???

So I got my bread,,, two loaves,,, hoping they may multiply,,, or at least I would see double after the wine I consume with my bread and water,,, Red is best I find,,, goes well with water,,, and rhymes well with bread...

But I was about to fall... Or trip... Whatever... On AIR... Nothing was there to make me trip... An air speed bump,,, slowing me down,,, because the gods of Dexterity hate me,,, but it was OK,,, for today,,,

Why you ask???

I was saved,,, fate had a plan: Pick up the bread and carry it to the cart,,, trip before you set the bread in the cart... Loaf of bread becomes mobile,,, swings in my hand and SOMEHOW,,, no doubt a magical mystical moment,,, but SOMEHOW,,, the loaf of bread becomes an impromptu knee pad!!! Saves me from injury!!! A hero of flour and yeast arises,,, to take my pain... And give it's life to protect my knee... Long live Bread!!!

But now ALL of the sandwiches in my house will look like this,,, for a spell:

And as they are eaten,,, a tear will fall...

... and there is a moment of silence (because we are chewing)

... for a hero that gave all...

YouTube is amazing!!! I look up "loaf of bread" and I get this wonderful tribute TO A LOAF OF BREAD,,, "Old School Sesame Street style",,, I even remembered seeing this as a kid!!! Please enjoy:



Sniffle,,, sniffle,,, sob,,, snort,,, sniffle,,, I hope that touched your soul as it did mine!!!

And here,,, just for the hell of it,,, is a picture of a toast clock:

The Invisible Seductress: bringing bad comedy and culture to her readers since 2009!!!