Monday, June 21, 2010

I have a question!! (holding hand in the air patiently)

ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies Pictures, Images and Photos

Questions. Ask them or you will never know. Certain things are scary to ask, and sometimes remain unspoken. Certain questions parents ask and we really don't want the answer to them, we only ask because we want the humor of hearing the stupid answer that comes out of our spawns faces. And then we get to make a fun parental refutation and possibly another parental question just to secure the proper outcome.

Well OF COURSE I will give you some examples!!!!!

Lets start with this one:

dirty dishes Pictures, Images and Photos

Q: Why did you think pouring milk IN the cereal box and then "drinking" the cereal from the now soggy, dripping box was a good idea?

A: You HATE doing the dishes mom!

Parental Refutation: Well,, yes,, yes I do in fact HATE doing the dishes, but somehow I am thinking cleaning a trail of milk off the carpet,, from the kitchen to the living room and back again to the kitchen,, after the epic Cerealboxbowl FAIL,, was not any better than putting one spoon and one bowl in the dishwasher,, but I could be wrong.

Noticing that she took the plastic cereal bag thingy out of the box, poured the cereal back IN the box and THEN put the milk in the box caused me to pose another inquiry.

Q: Why??

A: (I got a shrug on that one, I suspect it was too stupid for even her to comprehend).

Parental Action: (facepalm)

How about this baffling prose..

Stupid Question Pictures, Images and Photos

Why are you two sucking on the side of plastic Easter eggs?

A: We put juice in them,, it's a,,,,, cupster egg now,, yes,, a CUPSTER EGG!!!

(much laughter in the wake of a witty bit of fun wordplay)

A: It's fun this way,, don't worry,, we'll make you a CUPSTER egg too MOM!!

Q: Yippee!! Do I get to look as SILLY as you two do sucking an egg??!!

A: Hmmpf

Parental Refutation: No further questions..

Parental Action: (walk out of room, shaking head)

This one was obvious, but I had to ask...

Superman Pictures, Images and Photos

Q: Son of mine,, Why do you have Superman underwear,, on your HEAD???

A: 'acause,,,,,, I AM SUPERMAN!!!

Parental Refutation: Well of course you are!!! (I get two points off for parental retardism on that one!)

After realizing the underwear were taken out of his dirty laundry basket, further questioning in the hopes of enlightening the Superhero is posed. We would not want an unenlightened Superhero trying to save the world by flying into walls and such, there is much training left to handle here.

Q: Why would you go and get the DIRTY Superman underwear out of the DIRTY laundry and put THOSE on your head when there are CLEAN ones in your drawer??

A: (?????)(crickets)(?????)(blank stare)(crickets)(?????)

Parental Refutation/Action: (facepalm)...Son, you did not get the nickname "TRAXX" for leaving a ray of sunshine behind you,, lets go take a SUPERBATH and FIGHT the DASTARDLY crime of having a POO-HEAD!!

(If you can't win them with your wit and charm,, BAFFLE them with your bullshit!)

Oh and one more I JUST dealt with a few moments ago:

crazy woman Pictures, Images and Photos

TRAXX!!!!!!! (insert mommy squelch here)... Please tell me why there are APPLES floating in my toilet???!!!

A: The answer was TOTALLY NOT what you were thinking it would be.

I'm gonna have to leave you hanging on this one!!

Blogger Action: LAUGHING,, UNTIL I CRY!!!!!

16 Seducing Deductions:

Heff said...

Your son's nickname is TRAXX ?!?!

L.M.F.A.O. !!!

Gucci Mama said...

I need one of those lattes.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

NOOOOO. You must tell me. I must know why there are apples in the toilet.

Oh and about the Superman thing. He is so great he don't make smelly drawers. They all smell like satifaction for a job well done.

TS Hendrik said...

Brilliantly funny post. I'm left wondering why it never occurred to me to put the milk in the cereal box. That's just genius.

"Cupster egg" lol.

Crazy Brunette said...

Oh my God! I had to piss so bad when I started reading this... And damn you I almost PISSED my pants laughing!

Anonymous said...

I almost died from choking on a plastic Easter egg as a child. Shit's not funny. Tell them Snaf said to quit it.

steveroni said...

Wellll, there are apples in MY toi... OMG! I THOUGHT they were apples--grin! <>

First time here, may I introduce myself? I am ?, a member of the class, ready for a lunch of "eating those words"


Cheeseboy said...

Fine questions all of them. The cereal had me cracking up though. Someone really should invent cereal boxes that are edible. I mean, for the sake of the children.

Missed Periods said...

The cereal incident is so sweet. Inconvenient, but sweet.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Your best line ever: "You didn't get the nickname Traxx by leaving a ray of sunshine behind you."
Thanks for the laughs, as always.
Love ya,

The Wolf said...

Lol nice nickname for you're son, I laughed so hard I think I hurt something. I tried that cereal thing once, but I made sure to keep the plastic in the box, I also stayed near the sink casue I'm classy that way. Of course I ruined my streak by trying to cook bacon in my underwear while me that was not a smart idea.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I love the crazy things my kids do. Yeah I get angry and frustrated with their antics but you only get to do stuff like that when you're a kid.

when we "grow up" we're not expected to do all these wild and crazy things. We do what society tells us and to me, thats sad.

Let them enjoy puting dirty superman underpants on their head. If it makes them happy...does it really matter whether they've got skids on them or not?

Anonymous said...


kids are so... blunt at times it's funny...

well after awhile when you look at it later it is..


The Invisible Seductress said...

Heff-Sadly it is..It was Hoover because he ate constantly-possibly why i had to change it to Traxx..hmm ;)

Gucci- Lets have one or ten,,,smiling

Cal- I can not- laughing-you will have to deduce it.. xoxo

TS- I have a new "cupster" egg waiting for your visit. ;)

Crazy-better than Traxxing in them..hee hee that was just bad,,,holding head down...laughing...

Snaf- I am glad you are still here!!! really glad!!

Steveroni-Welcome ? !!! Nice to meet you!! We will be serving spiked Lattes later!! ;) I am glad you stopped by!!

Cheeseboy- They really should..Eeeep...maybe I SHOULD!!! $$$ I will share with you though!!

Missed- It was, I really did not get angry. I laugh and shake my head alot though.. ;)

RRG- I will bring that one up when he is in his teens to his sweet new girlfriend...laughing..Hugs!!!

Wolf-laughing...I love bacon--now I will think of you in your underwear and bacon all day!!! Should be interesting!!! ;)

Daft- I love these times too. Man how boring would it be if I did not have these guys around! I do stop to enjoy them.. I did want an apple yesterday though...sigh... ;) I do not want them to grow up....

LiLu said...

Bahahahaha! This is HILARIOUS!!!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Lilu- Thank you for laughing with me not at me!! winks...;)

Post a Comment

Every time you leave a comment, The Seductress gets a tickle!!

giggle, snort....and maybe she pees a little...but it's still cute....really...