Wednesday, August 25, 2010

SOMEONE HI-JACKED MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!!! (FACEPALM)

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Yesterday was my daughter's 10Th birthday!!!! Egads man!!! Where does the time go??? The whole "double digit" age thing bothers me. I have a theory.

You wanna hear it? Of course you do!! Here I go:

You see, when they are little babies, they stay sweet all through the single digit months 0-9. Around 10 months we get separation anxiety and "surgically placed on your hip" action and then the whole "what's the meaning of this "NO" you are talking about?" months start. They push the limits and ALL of your buttons because of their newly formed "need" for more freedom. That craziness goes through about 12 months and they seem to calm a bit.

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We have rough patches through age 3, and then the "personality" factor comes in strong and they start to be fun little people again. For the most part they stay "cool" until they hit the double digits (again) and the whole "what's the meaning of this "NO" you are talking about?" comes back again because NOW they are older and "deserve" more freedom. That is mixed with a little "angst" and "awkwardness" and HUGE parental doubts of their intelligence levels when it comes to common sense. It's all a recipe for stress and eating green olives by the handful. I am there now with 2 of them now.

I normally would do a "lovey-dovey" Birthday post, but today, DramaGirl found out that I hadn't yet finished her "lovey-dovey" Birthday post and offered her assistance because:

"I know me better than you know me, mom"

Ok, true 'dat Drama! But I have to tell a little about you first in the effort to fully utilize my parental right to embarrass you. It's almost as good as the "embarrassing pictures to show your new boyfriend" box I have prepared for you.

Have you ever met someone who is all swirly and happy all the time? You know the ones that seem to have their own bouncy "theme song" playing in the background wherever they are? That's my middle child. This quality is very endearing in her and not at all irritating like it is in say,, Richard Simmons, he needs a few Zanex and new less sparklier tank tops, just sayn'.

But in my daughter, this quality makes her just about the cutest thing EVA'!

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She is however, just a tad bit dramatic.... (cough)

Here's a story......

It was a bright sunny day a few years back. I had told the girls that they would need to clean out the 4ft of crap they trudged in my car. They were understandably very excited about this and nominated me for "Mommy of the year" again!! After about 5 minutes, DramaGirl's incessant complaining about the heat and her debilitating thirst turned into a Chinese water torture session.

Drop,,, drop,,,drop,,,drop,,, Aaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

But then, it suddenly stopped.

DramaGirl had collapsed!! She was laying on the driveway, arms fully extended forward, undoubtedly from thirst and/or heat exhaustion of the past 5 minutes of brutally hard work. I decided to let her lay on the hot concrete and show no signs of caring that the little driveway rocks were making divot marks all over her fat little cheeks and the ants were assembling to try and carry her away to their leader.

The moaning and Oscar award winning demonstration did however catch the attention of a well meaning neighbor. Determined to "save" my daughters life (even though I was standing a few feet away from the dramatic scene) she questioned my daughters condition.

"OMG!!!!! Are you OK????!!!!!"

My daughter, true to her dramatic calling, raised one arm weakly and reached out to her savior. She then coughed pathetically and forced out the words "NO" in the voice stylings of a 102 year old asthmatic smoker.

My neighbor proceeded to run over while looking at me as if I was Elvis in his "Fat" years eating a fried banana and peanut butter foot long sandwich while popping pills and forcing Anna Nicole Smith to join in on his festivities of excess, in her clown suit.

I just stood there shaking my head and laughing. Until DramaGirl said:

"You love the ANTS more than you love me!!!!"

And then me and the neighbor both stood there shaking our heads and laughing...

But I must say the ant condo/spa/resort I set up IS nicer than most I've seen....

DramaGirl has a sense about her that I love! A playful, happy, sweet spirit that I can not get enough of.

You can see that from the blog post she prepared (totally by her self) for you below:

Hey!!!!! Ish DRAMAGIRL!!!!! {{{{{drama girl, drama girl, drama girl}}}} (that was an echo)

Ok, a blog..... Hmmmmmmmmmmm I guess I should've came into this with an idea, I'm wearing a Tinkerbell shirt tho! -big smile- and mom is buying her favorite daughter (me) a Moxie teenz doll today ^.- ,, well, I'm supposed to talk about me...........Well, I'm pretty, and awesome -big smile- raises eyebrow- (it's my first time blogging- give me a chance... also send my mom a thousand emails saying (hi) if you like my smileys! I'm chewing on an eraser now.... :D ;D

HEY, YOU WANT SOME? I THOUGHT YOU WOULD!

-thumbs up-

BOO YA!!!

Zaxbys has a new birthday cake milkshake!

I GOT ONE! ('cause it's my birthday! ;} )

Yes, you CAN drink a birthday cake!

Anyways, more about me ^.- my life history; I'm ten years old born in 2000 in Florida I've had six/seven boyfriends (all of 'em were jerks) my favorite song is Evactuate the Dance Floor, my favorite movie AND book is Nim's Island by Wendy Orr and my middle name is Nicole and

I'M AWESOME

DRAMAGIRL OUT! PEACE!

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I love you my sweet, sweet DramaGirl, please never stop looking toward the stars and calling out which ones are yours, because they ALL can be!!!

Peace DramaGirl....and the best best life ever!!!!

Mom OUT!!!

Mother inserted sappy song here:

12 Seducing Deductions:

mac said...

Awww, you have another writer in the family :-)

I am so going to Zaxby's for a milkshake !!!

Crunk said...

Happy Birthday DramaGirl.

Crunk,,, uumm,,, out?? Is that right?

Sir Thomas said...

one day, one day....

I will be watching TV and who knows maybe the Oscars or some other award show and there she will be.... up in front of the whole world... and you will be there too.....

Mike said...

Happy Birthday D.G. Sweet post mommy.

vixen kitten said...

Awww, Happy Birthday, Sugar!

xoxo
~vk~

Dutch donut girl said...

Happy belated birthday, DramaGirl!
You are totally awesome, just like your mom.

xo

Frank Lee MeiDere said...

Happy Birthday, yada, yada, yada -- now on to the important point: they have birthday cake milkshakes?!

Jeff said...

Happy Birthday DG...like mother like daughter :-)

Cheeseboy said...

Funny post. An official pre-teen, eh? Sounds like she has the drama skills that go with it too.

She certainly suckered that kind neighbor of yours.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

What a sweet post about your sweet baby. Hope it was the best b-day.. ever!

Georgina Dollface said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet DramaGirl! Hope you girlies have a fun weekend together! - G

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Hi Mom! Love your Drama Girl's smile and spunk. She is awesome, like mommy. I hope it was a fabulous birthday. Thanks to DG for informing me that you can drink a cake!
xoRobyn

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