Monday, August 9, 2010

My TV had to go to rehab and I said NO,NO,NO!!!



This is my daughters ACTUAL status on Facebook:

Boredom, it's the fun that's INVISIBLE!

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SIGH...I think I would have to agree. Poor = Boring. No money to go or do anything, lucky to eat and still have power but then....... IT happened........

My poor TV, it was once addicted to CRACK. It had the latest in upgraded programing: 10,052 channels of "nothings on" whine technology and an HDTV resolution picture. But things got tight. I downgraded to a lesser package, there were withdraws, sweating and pacing by it's side, begging for an ounce, nay a smidgen, of "Cash Cab" and HGTV enlightenment. The lack of "America's Next Top Model" frivolity and "Top Chef" memories, caused shaking fits and convulsions. No DISNEY?????? WTF kind of house am I running here???!!! Skip my Discovery Channel or TLC,, this is a travesty!!!

Fuggetuboutit!!!!

It is now throwing up the same movies on VCR because my DVD player only plays music CD's and not DVD's 90% of the time!!! After my 125Th time of watching the "Lion King", I now hear secret back tracking messages when it rewinds "Eat a cake!!"- "Blue sparkles today!!"-"You look fantastic, no, REALLY you do!!"-"Play me again or I will shat on your head and taint your pickle supply!"

So we play it again. And my girls whine and Traxx laughs and laughs!!

Hakuna Matata!

My final Dish Network extension ran out and NOW, we have nothing, notta, zero, sans TV entertainment. I stayed up talking to it all night, assuring it that I DID in fact love it and would soon feed it again, whilst I wiped it's plastic brow.

I started watching the only adult VCR tape I could find. "50 First Dates". But if you've seen it once, you've seen it 50 times! My son kept saying " I don't LOVE this show" with such repetition, I allowed him to put on Lion King while I rocked back and forth in my chair.

....Are ya aching, YUP! YUP! YUP!.....For some bacon, YUP! YUP! YUP!

....Then YOU can be a big PIG too!!! OYE!!

What this means now is we are going to have to find other ways of entertaining ourselves.

Here are some games we are playing:

A pinata made out of sub-par zip lock bags filled with Green Olives and butter.

Window Licking Art Contest.

The "If I had gas I would take you somewhere" shimmy.

Twitching With: Justin Beiber.

Count Mommies Mascara Tubes.

Name That 80's Monster Hair Band Ballad! (the kids suck at this one, it's sad really)

Vacuum. (no really, who typed THAT??)

Watch mommy slam her head into the wall.

Go outside and play "Splash dance" in your own sweat!

Which toenail would YOU bite first?

Hot Dog animal byproduct trivia.

Count Lindsay Lohan's freckles.

Who's Poop Is THAT?

50 Dust Bunny pick up lines!

But will cheese stick to it?

The Puppy Peanut Butter Game.

Bobbing for Banana's. (we're out of apples)

How many hours will duct tape hold you there?

"Try and eat it ANYWAY" Charades.

Flush or Flood?

Grape Juice or Nyquil?

Pin the tail on the screaming toddler.

I'm a little Tea pot (no really, pour me some tea).

You rub my feet and I feed you!

Scrape the boogers off your dresser. (WTF?)

"If you say your bored one more time!" tween smack down.

The "How many times do I have to ask you" game for advanced players.

Don't eat the play dough!

Why is the underwear on your head?

Name that weed!

Is this a raisin or just an old grape?

"Just because it's summer rebuttal" fun!

And we also enjoy such treasured classics as:

Pull my finger!

The "How many times do I have to tell you?" game for advanced players.

My couch is not a jungle gym!

The "That's not a toy, put it down!" shuffle.

The "She's drinking outta the milk carton!" squealing contest.

"MOM she just______", A tattle-tale guessing game.


What other games can we play???????

8 Seducing Deductions:

mac said...

I'm down for counting Llindsay's freckles. That is a fun game.

You could always play the "When I Was Your Age, I ____(insert lie)____" Game. My parents played that one a lot !

Sir Thomas said...

kick the can

hide and seek

blow dust bunnies war

flick a ant

snatch and go

how many grapes can you eat before you get thrown out of walmart... (my personal best here is 137)

next best chef done at costco

lemon aid stand bingo

car wash topless fridays
(ok maybe that one was just for you and me)

mud puddle pies baking

dime dime whos got the dime

Telephone Scavenger hunt

I an't believe they are throwing that away

*smiles*

Crunk said...

Seductress! You beautiful lady you. Life got crazy, shit happened and I didn't have as many opportunities to sit and read. You were always there though, in the back of my mind and now I'm back and reading your sparkly words. I'm glad you're back in my life. I missed you! xXx

Georgina Dollface said...

**cue the sappy music** You are a really cool Mom. I mean that! Look how many things you came up with! Whatever happens, your kids are going to grow up with memories of how their Mom lovingly entertained them through the good times and the bad times. - G

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I love this post.

I use "Pull My Finger" all the time....LOL

The Invisible Seductress said...

Mac- That's a good one!!!!

Sir-Let's play....winks

CRUNK!!!!!!!!!! I missed YOU!!!

Georgina-If I am not locked in the looney bin first!! Eeeeeep

Daft- That one s my favorite..farts are always funny!! wink

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

You are so funny and creative. We used to play the "Quiet Game." That meant we shut up, and the first person to make noise lost. Great game for mommies.
xoRobyn

csmith2884 said...

Three words come to mind...internet streaming video.

Lots of great ideas there, mine 6,8,10,13,15,and 18 Have to find their own entertainment while camping.

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