The Big life change....

This post is from the "NEW" and "IMPROVED" me...

Today...

Monday..

Because everyone knows you can't start a "Big life change" until Monday.... On Saturday,,, you might have thought about starting,,, but NO......You hesitated,, you decided that you wanted to squeeze the last bit of "Pre-big life change" frivolity,, out of Saturday..

And then it was Sunday.....Well,,,, you ALMOST went through with it today,,,, but wait,,,,,, you should make this your last big "HORAH" before your whole "Big life change" starts (Is that even how you spell "HORAH"? I don't know,,, but Sunday is the last day of said "HORAH" .....fer sure,, so,,,,, you must celebrate and overindulge before the "Big life change" actually begins)....

Monday is here now...... So I warn myself of the one flaw with the whole starting a "Big life change" on Monday thang.

I say: Seductress,,, if you mess up on Monday,,,, you are going to have to wait until NEXT Monday to start again.... And you will have lost another week of your "Big life change" results....... So don't do it... Stand strong...

You are starting MONDAY!!! ....Which is today...

.....'Cause today is MONDAY..

....."Big life change" official starting date....

.....And that's the day you SHOULD start.. MONDAY (of course)

Unless,,,,,,,, it is really,, really close to New Years day.. Because then you should just wait until New Years day to start,,, 'cause everyone knows,, New Years Day is the BEST day to start a "Big life change" .... But,,, sadly,,, it's NOT close to New Years... Maybe if it were July,, maybe then you could justify waiting,, because HALF the year is gone already and well,, I could make the REST of THIS year my great big "HorAH" celebration before my "Big life change" officially starts on New Years day,, unless of course New Years day falls on another day of the week BESIDES Monday,,, because if it doesn't fall on a Monday,, I should just wait until the first Monday of the New Year (see above reasoning on Monday "Big life change" start dates)...

Now,, about this last "Horah",, "HORAH",, maybe I should spell it "HorAAAHHHHH",,, 'cause I really want a focus on the "AH" sound at the end..

Last big... "HorAAAAH" ...Yes,,,, I think that works.... Did that work?

Did you say it right? Please say it right..... "Hor-AH"..

Oh,, I hear it,, YES,, you said it right,,, now where was I??

Oh yes ....MONDAY..... And my whole "Big life change".

Well,, I actually started writing this post on SUNDAY,,,, smack dab in the middle of my last big "HorAH" celebration,, you know,,, the "HorAH" celebration,, BEFORE the sacrifices of my "Big life change" actually happens on Monday (are you even paying attention?).

But I was damn fired up about this "Big life change" even though it was Sunday! I wanted a way to show Karma that I mean business with THIS "Big life change".

I deduce:

I need an act of fierceness..

A fierce display that says:

Hey Karma!!!! You just watch my ass do this "Big life change" thang this time!!

So....

I find a package of leftover Easter PEEPS... Yellow,,, 'cause really,, if you are goin' to be fierce with PEEPS,, you need to be fierce with YELLOW PEEPS,, not BLUE PEEPS,, because it's just not the same level of fierceness with the blue ones.

I had a pack of 5 YELLOW PEEPS. I bit their cute little YELLOW PEEP heads off.

Oh yes,,, Karma took notice of my level of seriousness in this "Big life change" and also quaked a little at the sight of my fierce display of PEEP brutality!!!

I spit a little chocolate PEEP eye,, right in Karma's face!!

And thought: I wonder why the makers of PEEPS don't work on a better plan for the eyes??

And then I looked all over the PEEP package for contact info so that I could share my thoughts directly with PEEP management. I mean,,, they need to know that people would probably buy more PEEPS if the eye was more than a smudge of sub par "chocolate" (if it can even call itself "chocolate"). Maybe a pink candy eye with a little blue dot, like the good chocolate easter Bunnies have.

I don't know,, it's just a thought. But I digress..Where was I??

Oh yes,,,

I am still talking about my "Big life change" starting fierceness ritual....

When I cleaned up my fierce PEEP Karma brutality mess,,, I ate that little chocolate eye that I had previously spit in Karma's face ,,,, and then I thought again about the PEEP eye debacle:

..perhaps a whole mini-chocolate chip would be the answer to the PEEP eye problem... And again I made a note in my folder now entitled "PEEP Management Idea's" and subtitled "Errors in PEEP Design",,,, Because I'm nothing if not helpful and thorough.

But still.... Karma knew I meant business,, 'cause while I was eating the decapitated PEEP heads,,, I chewed with my mouth open,, people who are being fierce ALWAYS chew with their mouths open,, Karma knows that,, did you?? Now you do!!! (you're welcome)....

So now... what should I change in my life to qualify it as a "Big life change"??

There has got to be SOMETHING I can change! I fail to see any problems with myself..

But,,,, I am all fired up for this "Big life change" and I need to decide what I am going to change.

Dammit..

Now I feel less fierce..

Dammit..

I now pop the BODY of a decapitated YELLOW PEEP in my mouth and chew with my mouth open once more to restore my fierceness..

Only to realize:

I am less in the mood for a "Big life change"..

..AND..

More in the mood for the great:

"LAST CHANCE before the "Big life change" thang "HorAH" celebration!!

That's it!!!

I got it!!!

I will make EVERYDAY:

A last day before my "Big life change" thang.... "HorAH" celebration!!!

I will have a "HorAH" celebration everyday!!!

Certainly THAT qualifies as a "Big life change" thang!!!

!!! BRILLIANT I AM !!!

... I Scream ...

Then,,, realizing that I sounded suspiciously close to another wise creature...

I give a "shout out" to him..

What up Yoda??!!

You so crazzzy Yoda!!!

Excuse me, you will now,,, I have exciting official:

"EVERYDAY,,, is the LAST day before my "Big life change" thang "HorAH" festivities to get on with......

I am sure I will be successful with my "Big life change" this time because of how serious I have taken it!!!