I don't care what you say....Bears ARE NOT cute and cuddly.. They WILL eat you like corn. I am just saying,,,,,,
They try to look all cute like this:
"I'd like to buy you a strawberry milkshake,,,, and
crochet you a cozy cover for your extra toilet paper rolls"
...and this one is all like:
I wanna dedicate this next song to the Seductress!!
"Lean on Meeeeee,,, when you're not stroooong,,,"
This guy came to my Birthday party:
"I paid for the stripper!!"
Uh,,, Whateva' !!! He lies a lot, there was no stripper,, you believe me right??
This was the stripper:
"I Got a Rumbly, but it's NOT in my Tumbly!!"
Oh yes, Now I remember,, big Honey fetish..
This guy had too much Jaeger and gakked on my rug:
"Will I ever F'n live THAT down?? Dammit!!"
Seriously Dude,, that was a lot of Gak!! So ,,, No!!
We gave this one WAAAAAY too much responsibility too soon:
"Got any chips man?? I Gots tha mad munchies!!"
Funny Smokey,, show the nice people what you did next,, people munchies??!!
Observe his confession:
"No evidence!! I walk every time!!"
That's Nice there Smokey!! I'm just saying I think you guys are getting really comfortable around humans...
Take this guy for example:
"Would the real Slim Shady,, Please Stand up!!"
Even his choice of music is,, well,, disturbing!!....
So this is just a warning before you get sucked in to a relationship...
...and get all romantic with a bear like this guy:
"nom, nom, nom"
Poor bear,, that's just WRONG.... Let me try again..
Before you fall for the fun antics of sweet bears like these:
"Oh Smokey,, Oh Smokey!!!"
Wait...Is she..OMG... is he getting a .....really??!!
I'll try once more...
Before you fall for the sweet bear charm, like this:
" Hey!!! 'Sup?? Steaks are on the grill,, Beer is,, Iceeee!!"
Just know that this is what they are thinking about:
"30 minutes or it's free!!!! Aha ha It's ALWAYS Free"
Do you EAT the pizza delivery guy?? Is that what you are eluding to??
Just heed my warning....
This is what YOU look like to a bear:
Or at least that's what you looked like with a 70's porn stache... Oh,,, you still have it??
Please enjoy this video of a bear going through extensive karate training to prepare for your arrival in the woods:
Laugh now,, Little Nibblet-O-Mine.......
Awwww,,, I agree with THIS bear!!
YOU IS FINE!!!!!