Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ask the 8 ball (with a special guest)

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With special guest:


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We did a brief question and answer session with the obnoxiously truthful Magic 8 Ball on Saturday. I allowed him to live, so that I could interview him again. He's a self-proclaimed know-it-all and has a lot of things to enlighten us with (those are his words). He's been begging me non-stop for another interview so I thought we could do a short one today, but this time I also invited the Magic 8 Date Ball! Things did not go as planned for 8...

Let me just say that Magic 8 was extremely interested in Date 8 and took me aside for some romantic assistance.



(cue 70's porn music here: "bow chica bow bow" and otherwise)



...............Do you think she would give me the time of day?


Outlook not so good


................Why? Does she have a boyfriend?


My sources say... NO


.................Dammit,, I am being serious!


Reply hazy try again


...........*&^%#%$@



You're an Eff'n toy, how serious can you be?


.................I have feelings


(signals for me to come in closer,,,, no closer...)


..................I'm a virgin Seductress.


That's Comical!


I thought you bedded Paris and Lindsay?


................Now really,,, how would that happen? I'm an 8 ball,, been setting on some hairy guys shelf next to his Pet rock and silly putty,, because "he's all nostalgic" at age 42 all the sudden!!

Oh, I see


(Magic 8 starts rocking slowly back and forth)


...............Do you know how many times I have been forced to watch him.



8!!!! PLEASE STOP!!!!


................But now there's Date 8 and I,,, well,,,


................It's like Date 8's prediction circle,,,,


................Is the WINDOW to her soul!!


(me laughing)



(awkward silence and staring)




(more staring)




...............One day you are going to ask me another serious question, and I won't answer!


(I grab ball)


Is 8 a dumb ass?


(flip 8 over )


.................Yes - Definitely!


(laughter)


..................Wait, I didn't.....COME ON!!


(one-sided laughter continues)


You can't NOT answer 8, it's physically impossible for you NOT to answer me!!!


................Are you gonna help me?


My sources say......Aww.... crap,,,,,, dammit,,,, for romance.......OK.....


Date 8 can you please come over?


(Date 8 saunters over shimmying her sparkles towards Magic 8 coyly)



...............Yes, hun,,, I surely can!


( Date 8 is chewing gum seductively and batting lashes)



.................How can I help
Ya'll???


(Magic 8 swallows, he is visibly turned on by Date 8's southern charm and glittery exterior)



(He can no longer predict accurately, his icosahedron prediction piece is ahem...enlarged)


Do you have any dating advice for Magic 8?


.............Well darling, first he's gonna need to wipe the dust off his "8" insignia..



............. He looks like a discarded novelty toy!!!


8,,,, get dusted!!


(laughter)



8?????


(awkward silence)


8???????!!!!!


..............(only the tip of enlarged prediction icosahedron shows through window)

8
, you OK?


..............(tip of icosahedron wobbles a bit)


...............Oh my


...............looks like 8 likes little 'ole me a little,,,
Ya'll!


(8 rolls away blushing and trying to mumble something)


Date 8,, you mean every time a male Magic 8 Ball gets turned on, his prediction piece enlarges and he can't speak?


............That's right,,,, honey!!!




............He thinks with his.... ICOSAHEDRON!!!




That's a brilliant concept!!!!.......... Just BRILLIANT!!!





What happens when a female 8 Ball gets a little "excited"??




............We become even more intelligent


.............and intuitive, honey
chil'!



Wow,,, the toy world/real world is sooo parallel,,, who knew??



I guess I should really go talk to him.....




..............Yes, do,, I think I just saw him trying to hump a.....




.............. is that a PET ROCK????..... Seductress???



(more awkward silence is experienced)



Oh my!



.............Oh Mylanta!!!!!



( 8, as heard in the background)


............ohmanohmanohMAN!!!!!



(I cover eyes and walk over to delicately talk to Magic 8)

5 Seducing Deductions:

Heff said...

Hmmm...Your Magic 8 Ball seems to have more answers than mine used to....

Sir Thomas said...

omg how much do you have to shake it?

Cheeseboy said...

This magic 8 ball is very wise. You probably didn't buy this one at Walmart.

Powdered Toast Man said...

very comical. Was the pet rock injured in any way?

The Invisible Seductress said...

Heff- he is a very limited edition. Even gives massages! hug

Sir-Not much....wink

Cheeseboy-Nope not your average Walmart 8 ball! wink nudge

PTM- The pet rock was just embarrassed, his friends were watching..sigh

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