Monday, May 3, 2010

After 12 surgeries, is the 13th one free like it is in the doughnut culture???

A Bakers Dozen!!!!

Doughnut Pictures, Images and Photos
(visual for Dutch Donut Girl....muah)

If you keep learning things about yourself, when do you actually get it right? Is there a certain age when you wake up and just "know" how to handle any situation that is thrown at you?

After playing the "dodge ball" game of life for almost 40 years you would think that you would know when to throw and when to duck, but it is never that simple.

Dodge Ball Pictures, Images and Photos

The balls keep coming. Some people even deflect their balls and you end up getting theirs as well!

Dodge ball is not fun.

But dodge ball won't kill you.

It will however leave a few large red dodge ball shaped marks,,,, that will eventually fade.

My lesson has been hard, I have to learn to let people in and let people help. I have always been the helper and advisor in relationships. Stepping up to the plate when someone was too weak and taking the hits for them. I get strength from that role.

I tend to push people away when I am having problems because I don't want to bring them down. But some people want to hold your hand and rub your back. Some people need to do that for you. They do it selflessly with the best of intentions and deepest of love for their friends. I AM learning this. I am learning it is OK to look weak every once in a while. I deserve that.

It seems that the Doctors are not done with me. After having 12 surgical procedures since May of 2009,,, a 13th is on the horizon. So at a hellish medical year's anniversary,, it looks like I will "celebrate" with another installment of a really really bad B movie hospital sequel (with nudity as necessary).

I am not sure when this may happen, but I will let you know.

Still,,, I wonder why they want to get to my core again.....Hmmmmmm

Maybe it's because they are transfixed that all my organs are bedazzled.

OMG Pictures, Images and Photos
Her organs are FANTASTIC!!!

Maybe they like the fact that I love green Jello so much.....
......they want to contribute to my

2010 intake.

green jello Pictures, Images and Photos

Could it be that they like my sparkles?
(Everyone likes ma sparkles!)

colorful sparkles Pictures, Images and Photos

Could my brain be so powerful they are planning to harness the mass amounts of intelligence to rule the world?
(that must be it,,, bruwahahahahaha)

cat smart Pictures, Images and Photos
Tell me about this Green Olive fetish again Ma'am,,
did you notice your superiority before or after it started?

Whatever the case may be, it's been putting a damper on my happiness for a few days. I guess I am strange in that I always handle things with humor, even pain. I get that from my dad. The man who while planning his own funeral service asked the funeral directors if HE had to be there for it.

You would not know how pissed off I am right now by hanging out with me. It does no one any good sulking. But,, I do allow myself a few days of it and fortunately I am at the tail end of my allowable "pissed off at life" stage.

When I go into the hospital I always try to be diminutive to the nurses. I know how hard they work and I don't want my visit there to cause them more work. So I stay quiet. But my second goal is to crack people up so much they snort when they laugh. And try to not laugh myself because "after surgery" laughter sucks!! (I do so enjoy laughing at my own stupidity)

sexy doctor Pictures, Images and Photos
My Doctor...
Jealous much??

The first time I met my surgeon and his following of medical students they all gathered around my hospital bed whilst I was coming to. Yes I had glitter on my lids and I was fabulous!!!

I tugged the surgeons lab coat dramatically and motioned him forward.

"Doctor,, (spoken slowly and groggily),,, I knew this was going to happen".

Confused, he questioned my statement and looked around at the students.

(cough, moan, faint smile)

"The paparazzi have NO SHAME!! Dressing up as medical students to get the story, doesn't a Beautiful Internationally Revered Supermodel deserve an opportunity to heal in private?"

.......WHAT.... I DO,,, DON'T I ??????!!!!!!

So,, I am at least excited to have a new audience of medical students to amaze with my beauty and comedic prowess.

Maybe I'll get that piece of monitoring equipment again with the huge tag hanging over my head that read:


Which I promptly changed with a sharpie to:


......and added a little arrow pointing down at me,,, and awaited to see if anyone caught on....

......That was just fun......

You guys got any fun hospital stay suggestions for me?? I'll do them and then come back and tell ya about them!!

Interactive Hospital Stay Blogging is all the rage in Paris!!!

Please enjoy the following song by Jack Johnson:

Let's all get together for banana pancakes at my place after I kick this surgery's ASS!!.....

17 Seducing Deductions:

IT said...

One procedure is too many.
My biggest complaint is that they're so damned inconvenient.
You're so right that it's our duty to entertain visitors and staff at the hospital.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Oh honey, sorry the dodge ball keeps going and going for you. You deserve so much better. Tell that sexy doctor to go heavy on the morphine and lace it with olive juice. Hugs to you, and I'm here for you, bloggy sis.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I would say that the problem was that you have a cat for a doctor but that would be silly because they are FABULOUS surgeons. You have a great attitude and if that is a lie then you convinced me that you are terrific. It would be a joy to operate on you. Bedazzle your world and stay alive...I WILL FIND YOU!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your lovely comment...

Dutch donut girl said...

You certainly have the right to sulk, but you (& your surgeon) can do this. Please know that we all care about you and will be praying for your recovery. Keep your mind strong and your body will follow. Hopefully this next surgery will fix all of the problems so you can get back on your feet.

Sending you good wishes for the surgery.

Copyboy said...

Best wishes on your upcoming procedure. And FYI...I write jokes if you're looking for fresh material.

Blasé said...

Would love some of those pancakes. I wish you the best and hope you will keep me informed.

The Invisible Seductress said...

IT-I am sure you would crack them all up!! xxx's

RRG-Hugs back!!! I love that you have adopted me!!

Cal-You made me smile...thanks for that!! Find me so we can laugh with each other at the world!! wink

GG-Hugs welcome back my Dear!!!

DDG-Thanks for the hope...Can't wait till it's over...Now it's testing.....sigh

Copyboy-Would be honored to have your humor!!!

Blase-You'll be the first ta know!!! Hugs

Crunk said...

That's just my green shirt, I'm not really a doctor!!

I will be anxiously waiting for word of your recovery. We (your loyal fans!!) will all be thinking of you.


mac said...

Just stop trying to be a tough guy and get some help!

Now, dangit.

:( until I gets me pancakes

Powdered Toast Man said...

I want to hang out with your dad, he seems like a fun guy.

Hospitals are no fun. You should write stuff on yourself before you go in like cut here with lines and what not.

Slyde said...

im sorry that you have to go under again. Im new here so im not sure what you are going in for, but i hope its not serious..

Anonymous said...

Some people even deflect their balls ... hmmm i will leave this to you... *grins*

damn you take my hugs and call me in the morning.....

Anonymous said...

I really loved the dodgeball anology!

You've got through it before, you can get through it again :)

Chin up

Katherine ( Katie) Corrigan said...

Attitude is everything,laughter is the best medicine,I'm holding your hand, I'm rubbing your back,I'm speaking softly, I'm drooling over the doctor, I'm laughing at the cat with glasses ( who knew),I'm listening, I'm encouraging, and I'm smiling because I discovered your blog, your sweet soul, and because I can relate to this post. Wishing you a speedy recovery and looking forward to your next post. Katherine

jinksy said...

May I say, the best of British Luck - if that's not too racist!?! :)

The Invisible Seductress said...

Crunk- I knew it was you!!! Could you do that swirly thing again this time holding green jello and winking at me...

Mac-pancakes soon muah

PTM-Now THATS funny!!!!

Slyde-I'm a tough mamba jamba...wink..

Sir-Hugs back--:)

Snafu-Chinning up----You are right!!! hugs

Katherine-Such sweet wishes!!! Thank you so much---lots of hugs!!

Jinsky- That sounds perfect!!!!

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