You have strengthened me, writing for you has opened me up. I close my eyes and hope that I touch people that need a break from reality, with great big belly laughs. And hopefully,, my serious posts cradle thoughts of positivity in at least one person.
This is a serious post. It was written some time back at the onslaught of trouble. I could not have imagined what would take place in my future as I was writing it. I only knew I would have to survive whatever knocked me down, I had no choice.
I have survived. I am still fighting to believe that I will survive these next rounds. These "motivational" type posts are here for everybody, but for me as well because I need to read them and believe.
This one is very relevant to me right now. I will return the humor tomorrow.. urp...
I cherish you all,, but most importantly......Cherish yourselves.....
I am not sure how long I have been falling into darkness. Swirling around in my own negativity, bitterly blaming the world for my descent. Abruptly I hit bottom. It is bitter cold and the air thick with the evils of a mind with no hope. I lay curled up in myself with no evidence of the person I had once been. I was the shell of a once happy woman with dreams and aspirations of grandeur. Slowly I let my demons overtake me and carry my joy away, leaving me here alone in the shadows. I rock back and forth for the strange comfort of repetition. There is no distinction in time here.
Every moment has the same repulsive bite of misery.
One day the glimmer of a positive thought nursed in my mind. As it was trying desperately to take full flame, I finally allowed a spark. There was a rustling above. A small hint of light appeared and a hand lowered in a gesture of help. It was feeble, shaking and weak and yet the only speck of strength and safety available. I pondered staying, surely it would not be able to lift my load. It was certain that I would reach out only to be dropped back again. That thought was petrifying but a menacing wind was picking up.
It was only one level above me but perhaps it would be warmer. I reached out cautiously and slowly I was raised to the next step. The figure dissipated into the dark never to be revealed.
The hours here were a bit easier. It was indeed slightly warmer but my thoughts still generated a strong force of doubt and lost hope. Time went by with the same results, nothing had changed. Or maybe it had, maybe I needed to search for the hand up again. Surely it would come and offer me a chance at salvation. I looked up from that point on, hopeful. Just as I had wished, help was offered again.
This time the hand looked just a bit stronger, still trembling and weak but somehow more powerful. I took hold for my ascent one level higher. Once again without word or acknowledgment the savior fell into shadows.
I didn't stay on that level for long. I knew the secret and was slowly making a way back to myself. Light flowed brighter, the air warm and clearer with each climb. My helping hand had strengthened immensely and was always there with a inviting embrace each time I trusted in a positive mindset.
I was at the last level.
This time from above I saw two hands. One hand was a cherished friend, still a bit weathered, the other, strong and youthful. I shivered as I looked down to where I had come. The darkness overtook me and I could not believe I had survived such an ordeal. Could I risk the fall with the weaker hand or trust in the strength of a strange offering?
I grappled with the consequences and had made my decision. I would take the stronger more youthful hand to assure my safety. I reached out for it and grabbed on to a crumbling facade.
As I fell back, I saw the trusted hand lean in further over the edge. There revealed was my own image, sobbing profusely with a questioned look. In a moan her words were voiced:
"Why did you doubt me again? My strength was there all along!"
Please enjoy a picture of the hand I will be getting help from tonight: