Wednesday, September 1, 2010

34 1/2 Reasons you should love me...

I can make that Origami swan thing that flaps it's wings (that's a big deal in the Origami underground)

I use big words in everyday conversation, words like: flummoxed and befuddled, because I always am those most of the time...

I don't cook, so you never have to worry about trips to the hospital for food poisoning or salmonella

I can do the hand thingy-you know-- this is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors and look at the people!! It's great fun at sign language conventions, it's like a foreign language there.

I am chock full of wholesomely goodness

I don't know how to crochet, but if I did, I would never crochet you a toilet paper cozy

I can take a sunrise. Sprinkle it in dew. Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two!

I will make sure MY Presidential addresses don't interrupt your favorite TV programming

I will make trampoline jumping an Olympic sport

Everyone LOVES the "Blooper Reel", I LIVE the Blooper Reel

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, And their like. It's better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you,,,,, AND I WOULDN'T CHARGE!!!

I throw like a girl, so I would never successfully dunk you in the dunk booth at the church bazaar

I am biodegradable (except for the sparkles)

I think your tractor is sexy

I have a secret you want to know

SPAM on tap

Metaloxidesiliconediodefieldeffecttransistorcomposablereadonly memory failures do not scare me

I have extensive training in broken bone survival strategies

One day I will construct a 50 foot tall sculpture made entirely of Circus Peanuts, it will be virtually indestructible, except squirrels will eat it, I hate squirrels

I know the magic word, neener, neener, neener (no really, it's neener)

You're not heavy, you're my brother

My cardboard box home will be envy of the underpass dwellers

Snoop Dog is writing a song about my Swizzle. Fo Shizzle!

I make crazy look crazy

I can tie a knot on a cherry stem with YOUR tongue.. It's a telekinesis thang

I suck at miniature golf, but love staring at the windmill thingy and letting you win

I will buy a "choppy" and you can have the second "choppy" FOR FREE!!! Just pay shipping and handling (and I keep the extra "gratey", stop being selfish)

My mug shot will be the first one on the cover of Vogue

I see through your clothes, and you look goo-oood

I don't require adult supervision 65% of the day

I still run with scissors but only because I am trying to prove the point..

I know what Jerry Springer's FINAL, "final thought" will be

I am a hug hoarder

I start every meal thinking about Green Jello and floaty pineapple rings

I almost had another reason........

19 Seducing Deductions:

Jim said...

I wanted you after you wrote the word "good" as two syllables, so the other stuff was just icing on the cake . . . green Jell-O, Spam, not crochetting me anything . . .

By the way, I think the "here is the church" thingy is actually the sign language word for getting naked and wrestling in green Jell-O, so I'd watch where I flashed that around, sister.


Mike said...

I love you for all of those reasons; plus you're cute as hell.

Missed Periods said...

You had me at origami swan.

Anonymous said...

springer's final final thought: "boy meets girl...oh wait, i did that one before..."

Kal said...

The only reason that really matter. You can put all that stuff in a really huggable bag that I can squeeze and hug and call George. Me love you George.

Cheeseboy said...

I liked you anyway, but now I know that Snoop is writing a Swizzle song about you, my respect has increased. (BTW, is that a song about licorice?)

Can't wait to see that cover of Vogue.

Alice in Wonderland said...

LOL, I can lick my elbow with my tongue!
It's easy when you have had a few drinks...and also really believe that you are invincible!
But you'll probably find that by that time you are fluent in Latin too! LOL!!!!
This made me laugh!

Ricky Shambles said...

Lovely post. I like "akimbo" because, well, that's how I feel all the time.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I hope your secret involves my sexy tractor.

Edlund said...

You convinced me. I love you too.

Marlene said...

When are you running for office? I'll vote for you. This way, I can watch Glee, uninterrupted. YEAH!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Plus: you are funny, creative, sweet and as awesomely awesome as a person could be. I especially like the tractor and "He aint heavy" reasons too.
Big hugs,

The Invisible Seductress said...

Jim- Smile- I will have to be careful with that church hand thing then!!! ;}


Missed-It;s a pretty cool trick! I'm kind of a big deal because of it...wink

Eternal..exactly...he has done it all..too funny..but kind of scary too!!! ;}

Kal-Me love you long time!!

Cheeseboy-Maybe my SWIZZLE brings all the boys to the yard?? I'm confused... Vogue cover will be hawt!!

Alice- You mean I'm not INVINCIBLE???? Dammit Hugs!!!!

Ricky- Thank you!! You are quite lovely yourself!!


Edlund- <3 it feels awesome to e loved by u!!

Marlene-Mandatory GLEE marathon parties...Hoooya,, boo yow!!! Be my running mate!!

RRG- Aw shucks, but your biased a 'lil...Blush... hugs back beautiful!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Ricky- I forgot to tell you I like your akimbo pose..wink...can I do it with you?

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I don't believe you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. I think you're just kidding about that. Or lying. It'd be weird if you could, though. More scary lovable than happy lovable.

P.S. -- You don't actually seem all that invisible to me. I mean, I can see your face and everything. Well, not everything, but your face, and it's definitely not invisible.

Anonymous said...

Can you UPS a suitcase full of "hugs" ? I have some stored in the closet if you want them :-)

The Invisible Seductress said...

Mike-I guess that would be a bit scary... I threw invisible reversing powder on my face for the picture..I am actually standing right next to you.. winks

Jeff- Yes I

Anonymous said...

I could think of some many other reasons...

but how about we just say that you...

are my super hero....

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