The problem with me.....

So how's the diet going... very well I say....VERY WELL!!

I have been eating plenty of brightly colored Vegetables and Proteins along with some Fruits.

So basically:

Brightly colored veggies

Beans for protein

AND

Fresh fruit

I kid, I kid!!!!

I really I have had this on tap:

Aw, dang, REALLY,,, well THAT was RUDE!!!

actually

I GLISTEN and ADD SWEET AROMATIC AMBIANCE

and I don't run,, unless there's a bug or a swarmy man
or
FREE MASCARA

But seriously, it has been going well, every time I mention something that actually has taste in it like the Fig Newtons I love, my loving daughter says:

"If you eat THAT you will NOT get the surgery and start to "LIVE" again, do you WANT to DIE for a cookie?"

(slight pause for the clarification of who is the wise parental one)

(Jeopardy music)

(once confirmation is reached)

I say:

"......Uh,,,,, no,,,, but it's NOT a cookie,,, it's FRUIT and CAKE,,, says it right 'chahere on the package!!"

.... And we laugh and laugh....

Yesterday I took the girls to McDonalds and got them each a $1.99 Happy Meal, but I was mad at them so I told the order taker to take the HOPE out (insert laugh here)!!

See,, this is the problem with me, I tell a lot of jokes that nobody "gets", my kids "got it" though because we had just seen the commercial with the kids looking for the "invisible" HOPE in each Happy Meal box.

.... And we laughed and laughed...

And I also ordered a large Diet Coke..

And when she handed it to me she said: "Here's your diet!!"

I looked at the cup and then looked at her and said: "God I wish it was that easy!"

...... and I laughed and laughed

..... and they stared and stared until I clarified:

"A DIET in a cup...GET IT... You said "here's your DIET!! I drink it down and I'm done!! Here's your DIET!!"

(this is where I take the time to mimic handing the cup back to her..... And wait patiently for the payoff of my punch line....

....And I laugh and laugh.....

(awkward silence)

See,, that's the problem with me.