Contemplations of 2010

Christmas is over - I'm over it! I know that may sound bitter but, it's really not. This will be kind of my own sounding board post. Sometimes you gotta kick yourself in the ass, and anyone else ready to assume the position, I have a kick for you too.

Normally I am a "Christmas is gone Jan 2" gal. Not this year. I have bagged the tree, stuffed the stockings away, pilfered the garlands -AND- I threw the offending lighted Angel's ass sans-wings on a flight path of doom.

2009 was a bad year- I could complain - it was a sludge year full of my own battles. And yet, I look at my children-unscathed from my plights up to this point. With that I can feel accomplished. They remain healthy happy feisty and just a tad more aggravating than the average bears (fabulous!).

You see it's like this: if you get a puppy keep banishing the puppy to a corner - sooner or later that puppy will stop trying to escape that corner and reside to it. He'll sit shaking, peeing and clinging onto himself. One day he may attack. I have been that puppy this year. I have allowed myself to be put in this corner (wearing depends-ha) and residing there in existence.

It was a matter of appearance. If I did not let you know I was in pain, maybe I wasn't. If I laughed instead of crying, maybe there was nothing TO cry about. Hide your fears and play out the fantasy a bit more -J- that's BRILLIANT!! Yes, but that IS existence and I DID exist this year. ---And--- I was a master of this illusion (David Blaine is duct taped to my closet wall, no you can't have him, he is meditating).

There are all kinds of illusions being played out around us:

"happy" marriages
financial instability
medical revelations
abuse
addiction

You name it, it's out there and probably happening to someone you think you know. As sad as that is, when is the last time you took a full one-on-one with your loved ones or friends you might not see too often. A quickie call or email or the great modern text can not show the picture of what is really going on. You got them cashmere socks this year,, didn't help. But, you do mean well and try to be in the know. Isn't it worth a trip, a lunch or a walk on the beach to be certain they know you are there (taking my own advice, maybe I should share more).

.....Or could their demons be too real for you, maybe it's easier just thinking everything is OK and not knowing their proximity to "the edge".

I know this because I am a walking example of the "every thing's OK" movement. It's not, BUT,,,, IT WILL BE and I have found my voice and am stronger than I ever knew (and getting HOTTER everyday (sizzle), well with global warming,, we all are,,wink).

Take the time to take care of your loved ones.

AND

Let's just take the time to REALLY take care of ourselves this year.

You are worth the effort!

Love life, love you and love them------often.

....stepping off soapbox.....kicking it away.......