Highly Anticipated Interview...Not even Oprah could book them!! Only here on the TIS Blog!!

Welcome everybody to a special edition of:

Behind The Happiest Place On Earth

"Pluto's Pain"

Pluto was created in 1930 and first showed up in the movie "The Chain Gang" as a bloodhound with no name starring adjacent to Mickey Mouse. The lovable dog then showed up in a movie with Minnie Mouse and was called "Rover", but Disney felt the name was too generic and eventually changed it to "Pluto the Pup" in 1931.

He had his first "key" role in 1934 in a movie called "Playful Pluto" when he officially became known as Mickey's dog. He has starred in 48 Disney shorts and continues to be one of the worlds most favorite canines.

Goofy was created in cartoon shorts during the 1930's. The original concept name was "Dippy Dawg"; then his name was given as "George Geef" or "G.G. Geef" in cartoon shorts during the 1950s, implying that "Goofy" was only a nickname. The character's full name was then given as Goofus D. Dawg, a name that was used as early as 1957 in the "Great gawrsh-durn champion".

Disney has needed to deal with a certain amount of confusion concerning the fact that the anthropomorphic Goofy, and dog-like Pluto often appear on screen together, yet are the same species. Disney has stated on their website that "Goofy was originally created as Dippy Dawg " and "was created as a human character, as opposed to Pluto, who was a pet, so [Goofy] walked upright and had a speaking voice".

While Goofy remains blissfully unaware of the controversy, no one has felt the pain of this confusion more than Pluto himself, and today, for the first time, he is ready to openly speak here about this egregious lack of equal treatment.

I would like to welcome Pluto along with Internationally known Dog whisperer and todays interpreter for Pluto; Cesar Milan to the stage.

(Band starts playing: "Who let the dogs out??!!")

(Applause)

Also to clear the air and better start Pluto on a path of well being, we have also invited Goofy.

(Applause)

Goofy, come on out here dawg, that was your cue.

(Staggered applause)

Now Pluto, you were created to be Mickey's best friend and always seemed to thrive in that role, when did it become too much to handle emotionally, or was the inequality shown by Disney always an issue?

(Pluto slides his tongue across Cesar's face, stands on his hind toes, and whispers in Cesar's ear. Affectionately massaging Pluto's ear, Cesar starts to interpret for Pluto who is now thumping his paw on the stage in pleasure from the massage)

He sayze dis is acutely perceptive of you. He and the Mick naturally sustained a mutually beneficial synergy. When Disney placed that stupid bow-tie on the Goof, my Pluto's fragile ego crumbled. I have been working on, I mean with, him ever since. It hasn't been easy trying to rehabilitate Pluto. I've never been so frustrated. I always fulfill their needs. But Pluto became, how do you say, frigid?

Or is it rigid?

(Awkward pause)

(cough)

Uh..Goofy,,, does the fact that you are anthropomorphic make you feel superior to Pluto in any way?

I'm sure Pluto loves cartoons just as much as I do. That doesn't make me superior.

Goofy, please don't act in a condescending way to Pluto, asking him to give you his paw is exactly the kind of behavior that has scarred him for 80 years!

Gawrsh, how else is he suppose to earn his treat? He doesn't know how to play the banjo!

Now Pluto, there were times that I felt Mickey's treatment of you was a little harsh, in one episode he kicked you outside in the snow because you knocked over the Christmas tree.

Never before viewed scene from "Pluto's Christmas Tree"

(Audience Gasps at footage)

We both know the truth was that Chip and Dale knocked that tree over and you were the pawn, were there any other instances where you felt slighted having Mickey as an owner?

Do you have a tissue?

(Cesar moves in closer, wrapping his arms around Pluto's midsection)

This is very traumatizing for my Pluto. Nearly every interaction with that mouse was void of the affection-protection scenario. I offer effusive amounts of nuturance and love to compensate for Mick's sadistic patterns. And I implement these interventions day AND night. We hardly sleep at all.

Goofy. Are you still with us buddy? You seem to be fascinated with seeing yourself in the monitor there..

I don't understand how I can be in the monitor and be sitting here at the same time. I've never understood time travel.

Mmkay then. Pluto, I read the you were Disney's 5th most popular character after Mickey, Donald, Minnie and unfortunately Goofy, that's a pretty fine accolade to have, but do you think if you were created equally with the ability to articulate, walk upright and possibly have opposable thumbs, this would change the popularity standings?

In actuality, he would’ve fallen further in the rankings.

You see, Pluto LIKES being a nudist.

(The audience gasps and whispers stir up)

(Cesar and Pluto Giggle and Blush)

I wouldn't have him- if you get my drift- any other way. Incidentally, he has desired the addition of a human middle finger. I am unclear as to why this is the case, but, I do not question him. I enable Pluto to embrace the dominant role, to make up for his past victimization.

This strategy is necessary for the rehabilitation to work optimally.

Cesar, are you sure you are the appropriate counselor for Pluto?

(Cesar avoids the question and strokes Pluto's paw)

Ok, Goofy, do you feel that's a fair assessment of the situation at hand, er, at PAW I should say?

Ummm...errrr...uhhhh yeah, I have thumbs. My mom said I used to suck them until I was 10. I've tried them recently but I guess they tasted better when I was younger.

I heard of a brief love affair between you and Clarabelle the Cow, who is sadly also anthropomorphic, but Pluto, you swear your heart remains with Dinah the Dachshund. Was this just a twisted rumor or is there any truth to it?

How did you know they got "twisted"? Yes, naturally, Pluto and Clarabelle were intertwined like nobody's business. She's got big utters, that cow. His heart remains with Dinah, this is certain, but Clarabelle offered a wealth of new experiences from which to grow and thrive through energy, mind and emotion.

Kind of like the Holy Trinity.

Yes, uh, she is, um, quite a lovely bovine and,, I'm pretty sorry I asked that question,, so let's move on quickly shall we?

Goof, you have remained single, why do you think that is?

I hope Max is watching or listening right now. Have you ever seen a dog clean themselves? Why do I need someone else when I can do it myself?

I'm sure Pluto can agree with me on this one.

Pluto, I know you have been waiting a long time to confront Goofy in a "Non-Disney" way, do you have anything you would like to say to him? Take your time, this is about healing Pluto.

(Cesar leans in to position his ear by Pluto's mouth, listening contently)

He says, no. He can't be mean.

Well, alright. Hey Goofy, I hear they're making a movie about you. Yeah. It's called Coyote Ugly, the last American Canine Virgin. And guess what else?? I slept with your mama. And she told me you were adopted!

Well, whaddya know,, A-kyuck??!!

And what's with that dumb ass bow tie? I bet it's bigger than your-bleep-bleepin ^&%$@#$^!@!!!!

Goofy do you have any words of encouragement for Pluto? This was a very brave thing for him to confront.

Do not eat yellow snow. It is NOT lemonade flavored!

Gawrsh, I have fallen for that too many times.

Pluto,,,, FETCH!

Goofy, please don't throw that ball, that's once again a display of condescending mannerisms!

You want another treat? Go get it boy!!

No. no, Pluto, I know it's hard but don't CHASE it! It only reaffirms your inferi....

......You're chasing it...

......And bringing it back...

......TO.... GOOFY...

Well, I think this was enough for one day Pluto, let's schedule another show to talk about your litter mates and how the Bitch always treated them better than you!

I'd like to thank all of our guests today:

Cesar/Pluto: Played by the Beautiful and Exquisite: Rawkyn' Robyn!!!

Give her a round of blog love at:

http://Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com

And I hope you saved some blog love for our Casanova, Goofy: Played by the handsome and Lustrous: Powdered Toast Man!!!

Visit his place at:

http://reviewsyoucantuse.blogspot.com/

I'm The Invisible Seductress and I've been your host for this episode of:

Behind The Happiest Place on Earth

Thank you!!
And remember:
Be good to one another
because

we're really all just ONE species

ON THE INSIDE!!

Goodnight for now!!

(ROUSING APPLAUSE!!)