Wednesday, November 3, 2010
In the little moments you remember; things that will be, will be. Patience and the strength of perseverance, are sometimes hard to find. Lately there has been constant change and chaos. When you have done all you can and you find yourself seeking/needing for more, incessantly fighting, it physically hurts. I know worrying about everything has been effecting me physically, I feel it. My blood pressure ran 197/128 at the store today, I assume it is a straight reaction to stress, it has stayed high like this. I will sit and try to remain calm for a while.
I will focus on a very simple little thing, that became a huge inspiration for the day.
My son crawled into bed with me last night, and even though I am normally don't allow him to do that (because I thought I needed the solitude), I think now I was wrong. When you don't sleep things fade and you feel a hopeless ache. With him there, I hear the repetitive sounds of breath from someone so dear and the promise that I will see his smiles, if I just get through the night.
This morning as I counted the time down for the alarm to go off, I stretched my arm over to rub Traxx's back. He slowly started to wake and nestled in closer to me. He laid his arm on top of my face and then put his cheek against my head. He stayed there, just calm, for a long while, hugging me, until he whispered:
"Mommy, you are my Princess."
I said "Yes, I am, are you my King?"
And with that, another day full of questions started.
Somethings will ALWAYS be, and for those, we should be thankful.