Monday, November 1, 2010

Think what you will. Judge if you want.This is the sad reality..

This gets personal. This gets real. I hope to still have some respect after I share this with you.

If you feel loved and financially secure, hug your family and thank the stars above tonight!!

I am thankful. Thankful that after months of trying I was offered a job. Very Thankful.


After being out of work for severe medical issues, having my credit ruined, having the State of Florida come after me for Child Support (because well, you can't take care of kids while in the hospital) and when your Ex DOES take care of them (because he could afford to and was NOT in the hospital), and then he needs Food Stamps, the State comes after the deadbeat mom (me) who because of her health, was out of a job and not able to physically take care of the kids and then is struggling financially (because she's a loser).

But they WERE taken care of by their father (and me). If the situation was in reverse I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME FOR HIM IF HE WERE SICK.

But I have no help around here. It's just me, just my income, and I need another surgery (woohoo). I am thankful that now I have a job. Very THANKFUL, I will rock it out,, but listen to this folks: Because the banking industry can't see past the medical collections on my credit report and see that BEFORE my health crashed, I was "A" credit,,, they won't hire me, even with 21 years experience IN BANKING and a proven success record!

So I start out low man on the totem pole (which I am not too proud to do, work is work). I start out at $8.oo an hour and hope for commissions.

I also do not get paid during the training portion.

Here's a rundown of what that looks like:

Working 40+ hours a week

-240.00 Daycare
-245.00 Car
-60.00 Car Insurance
-120.00 Electricity
-55.00 Water/sewage
-55.00 Cell Phone
-29.00 Computer (expendable bye BLOGGER,,,, sniffle)
-375.00 Child Support
-50.00 Court appointed Insurance for girls
-35.00 T.V. (expendable)

1228.00 Monthly income (assuming 4% tax)
- 1264.00 Bills
+64.00 (add back in expendable non necessity expenses)
=$28.00 A month????

Wait!!!!! Where's gas, food, housing, (Oh, yes, my house in foreclosure because I couldn't pay while I was out of work, I get kicked out sometime this year), how about misc items????

Wow, that looks bad!!

With Unemployment

-1264.00 Bills
+240.00 Childcare (I'll be home)
+64.00 (add back in expendables)
=240.00 A Month + gas savings

AM I LOSING $212.00+ a month for WORKING?????


Unemployment helped me and I am so thankful. It will be stopping in 3 weeks and this was the only job that panned out. How am I supposed to find a place to live and take care of children on $28.00 a month(- gas and misc)?

And paying Child Support for those reasons? I am a great mother, I do not deserve that!!

I give up....

I would make a Happy Hipster Hobo....But what about Traxx? And my girls?

Where is my spark of light at the end of this tunnel?

19 Seducing Deductions:

Dazee Dreamer said...

That just made me so sad reading that. Can't your X help in any way?

Anonymous said...

I will never judge you, no matter what you do. I dont think I could do it. I cannot believe what the state has done to you... what you have to pay.. I can only guess, only in florida... in this state the guy would be toast... period... you got the kids, you get the money or he goes to jail.... still think you should move her...

Crunk said...

I am sure nothing I say will make any difference to how you feel. Just know (whether you find it helpful or not) I can be someone to listen if you need it. X

Anonymous said...

When I was in a financial rut I started bartending. I was okay with it b/c it didn't mean taking my clothes off, but earns you cash almost as fast. Something to think about...

Marnie said...

I don't have any answers, but I want you to know that there was nothing shameful about this post - nothing. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I'm a mom so I know how you must feel. All the best to you.

Marnie xo

The Invisible Seductress said...

Dazee- I have begged him to please cancel the food stamps and the State will leave me alone, he says he can't, although there is other income in the house. I am trying to get the girls back over here but since I am in such dire straights I can't really afford them, he gets money to feed them I don't. I take them as much as possible, that's why this is not fair!! I'll never get out from this. even now working, I am in a WORSE spot!! ;{ scared

Sir- I don't understand it. I have been fighting for so long, I am tired.

Crunk-That means a lot....hugz back and smiles!!

Snafu-I am not above ANYTHING, but I don't have anyone to take care of my son after hours, no family around, The girls go back and forth, my son just has me. After hour daycare is awful for kids.

Marnie- I am embarrassed, if people don't know the full story they may not understand and think I am lazy or ungrateful, this is not the case. But I am scared, embarrassed and confused at how this is going to work. I am losing hope and that scares me the most.

Thanks all for the virtual hugs...

Brittany said...

ahhhh! Financially my life is ruined.. for now! In fact I may have to file for bankrupcy! Its scary and it sucks! When I moved to OMaha my ex quit paying me child support because we didnt have anything in writing and he was having him half hte time.. only fair EXCEPT that I moved there for him.. I took on a hefty apartment, car payment, and higher expenses. I was unable to pay the bills.. and now I cant afford to pay the rediculous fees! It keeps me up at night! Not to mention all the terrible calls! I never ever wanted to be in this position so young, but I'm here now, I just have try and climb out! I luckily have family in the picture to help, because without them, I'd be skrewed!

Praying for you, and I hope you know there are others out there that are in the same position! You are not alone!

Hoping you find help out there somehow!!

mac said...

I can offer emotional support. It's not much, but I am here - anytime.

Tessie of Germany said...

**hugs** Trust me my mom was in this spot except she had to do it with us towed behind her. It is kind of why she ended up working as a home daycare provider. It was the ONLY thing she could do that wouldn't cost her daycare. And even now you need so many things to start a home daycare!

I sincerely hope things get better for you there is no judgement hard times hit everyone.

Anonymous said...

This is so horribly unfair! I'm so sorry. I know you're trying to do the right thing, and I support you. I wish I could give you some good advice. but I have none. I can only give you hugs ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))). The system doesn't allow for minimum wage employees supporting a family, and unfortunately there are so many workers back in that position. It's a frightening situation. You have my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I hope things get better for you soon. We're all here for you, and I don't think any of us could, or would ever dream of, judging you. I'll spare you all the cliches about cross-eyed bears, etc, etc, because, at times like this, that's all they are, cliches. Big hugs to you. - G

Marlene said...

Your situation sucks big fat greasy hairy balls, for sure!!! I think it's LUDICROUS that a credit rating comes into play where employment is concerned, particularly when there are extenuating circumstances such as HEALTH issues! For crying out loud...the system is really broken, and I feel for people like you....those who really WANT to work and WANT to be self-sufficient, but keep getting beaten down.

Why is it that those who are lazy deadbeats who get everything handed to them on a silver tax-payer paid platter are always better off than people who truly want to climb out of the hole?!

Big hugs, even though they don't pay the bills. :(

Toyin O. said...

Praying for you.

Anonymous said...

HI...Invisible seductress...My name is Matty and I'm from Illinois...I tripped upon your blog awhile ago and I've been standing in the corner for quite sometime reading and laughing at your great blog...and I must say you are a great soul with an amazing talent..
But today when I clicked on your blog I was greatly saddened by what I read...So I decided to step out of the corner and be seen cause I finally have something to say!!...

(but bare with me my writing skills are sub pare at best)

My friend I feel your pain and your feeling of being lost!!..I have MS with no medical care..and I understand your financial fight..but this comment is not about me it's about the 258 followers of this blog and you!!

To the 258 followers....Virtual hugs..and well wishes are nice and all...but it does not help one find the light when someone is looking for it....
It comes from us asking ourselves...
Has "EGO" AND "SELF" taken over the world completely??...

Where has humanity gone in this world?...

Where the hell is the love???...

and when your done asking yourself those questions... I ask you??...

What happened to helping a fellow soul when they are crying for help!!..
Cause If we don't start standing up and living a life through love and lending a hand and spreading the light, when a fellow being is down then there is no longer any hope for humanity ....

And ya can't assume the goverment will help cause they don't care unless your a billionaire corporation!

So I see there is 258 souls who follow this blog.... and this soul who writes this blog has given each and everyone of us sooo much...And now she is in a hole with her hand out looking for some hope...and a little light and WE CAN HELP LIFT HER UP!!

Now I'm not a rich man... I'm barely scraping by myself but I can afford to send you "The Invisible Seductress" at least $10.00 bucks a month and I'll never miss it.....

My only question is can the other 258 people who read this blog do the same....cause $10.00 times 258 equals $2,580.00 extra a month and I know that will help!!!!

So what about it 258 are you with me or am I going to do this alone $10.00 means little to us!
But it will mean the world to our wonderfully gifted friend here that needs a helping hand....are you with me???.....

Oh and Invisible Seductress I'm sending you my email address so I know where to send my Help!!...So you can hopefully with find the light....But are the rest of you with me??

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

That is wonderful of Matty. Yes, I'm definitely in on that.
I love you lots, and I'm so sorry things keep getting worse, with glimmers of light that fade so quickly. I'm holding faith for you, sister. xoxo

The Invisible Seductress said...

I don't even know what to say,, so I won't try..

Love you all..and these words of support are all I have to go on, they offer more support than you will ever know!!

The Invisible Seductress said...

And to everyone above who is also in a rouh spot...I am sending all my hugs and prayers to you as well!!

now I am going away, I look ugly when I cry and it's a total waste of sparkles!!

Mike said...

You are going through a rough stretch of karma. I know it is rough, but there is a reason for everything. Just continue to do the best you can, and I promise things will work out.

PPLIC said...

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