Spawn Talk

The following is a play by play conversation with my kids. It shows the randomness of the children I love so much and the patience and humor needed in handling them. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Here is a list of characters:
Dramagirl- 9 year old girl who lives for the dramatic acceleration of every moment
MsDebate- 11 year old girl who know absolutely everything
Hoover- 3 year old boy who sucks up food like his namesake
Me- Me

MsDebate walks up behind me quietly and reads part of the blog I am working on about motherhood.

MsDebate: (mouth click noise) O-M-G!!!!! You are soooooooooooo writing about us!!!!!!!!

Me: Yea

MsDebate: That was WORD FOR WORD!!!!!

Me: I know, cool huh?

MsDebate: Well???!!! Are you ALWAYS gonna write down EVERYTHING we say now??????

Me: No, only the intelligent things,, so it's very limited

MsDebate (walking out of room): Nooooo,, (insert louder mouth click noise here) that IS everything I say!!! .......DRAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Mom is writing OUR lives in here!!!!

Dramagirl (running): Huh,,why?? What if boys read it,, nooooooo maaaaam, yooooou caaaan't (breathing heavily and gesturing radically)!!!

Me: No one knows who you are, don't worry

MsDebate (sarcastically): Well,,,I saw YOUR picture..hellooo-ooooooo!!! They'll know who we are!!

Dramagirl (palpitating for exposure): Oooooh,,,Mom!!!!!! Put MY picture up!!! (running to get camera)

Me: Where's Hoover anyway? Hooooooover!!!

Hoover: (chewing,spitting crumbs): I eating bagel,,,,, I like you Mom!!

Me: I Like you too Hoover!!!!

Hoover (skipping away singing) I like Mom,,I like sistors,,I li....(voice fading)

Msdebate: Mom,, you should ask for a date there.

Dramagirl (still posing): yeah mom, get a date

Me: I'm fine!

Dramagirl: Remember that guy in the mall?? Oooooh he was cu-UTE!

Me: PRETZEL DUDE??? He was 10!!

MsDebate: Mom's {{{{{OLD}}}}} Dramagirl!!! (laughing)

Me: Away with you I say,, be gone!

Dramagirl: But Mom,,we would be happy forever if you marry him (hands up to face angelically framing it)!!

Me: ..(THE look....) Why?

Dramagirl: Well, EVERYONE loves pretzels!!!

MsDebate: (laughing) you're so stupid!

Dramagirl: You should to--ta--lly get him a MAN RING!! What's for dinner?

*****All of my problems are elucidated!!!! I am marrying the pretzel kid who will make pretzels for us everyday assuring us everlasting happiness and the wealth of a thousand kings! In the blinding opulence of my new life, I won't for get the little people.*****