Monday, October 5, 2009

Romancing the "Walmart Greeter"

****We're all adults here and this is adult content so I hope that's ok. It's not too graphic (only because I don't remember anything too graphic,,,sigh,,snort,,sob) and I certainly don't want to offend anyone, but I promised to be open and candid about things happening in the moment so here I go:

In my first post I explained a little about how long it's been since I have dated. I am glad I took this time to myself but it has not been easy. I know the EXACT date of the last time I played Red Rover, Red Rover with a boy. I may be the only one in the world when asked about the last time, can head nod at my son. He is my little sexual time line. I really hope that at his graduation, I am still not pointing at him as a reference.


Going to the big Mart always leads to an interesting people watching situation. This is even more painfully true where I live. I'm not sure why, but our town's Mart visitors tend to feel pajamas with the words "Hot Mamma" embroidered on the rear screams class, and slippers are the new high heels,,,, Still THEY always have a man,,so maybe I'm missing the boat (get right on that!).
Yet in all the madness,,missing teeth,,screaming children,,(uh....sorry,,I'll shut them up) and roller clad mismatched ladies (...you care enough to put rollers in, to look nice when you GO somewhere,,aren't you somewhere??? ...WHAT THE HALIBUT??). In all of that,,there is the greeter.
We'll call him "Walter. Walter was close friends with Moses, they shat together in the desert. He always smiles and opens his arms wide when he sees me. He is a bit scruffy and smells of Old Spice, which travels home with me after a warm pat on the back. We never get to exchange a conversation, just a few "is everyone ok?" updates and jokes for the kids. I never had an unclean thought of Walter. In my dream last night Walter "greeted" me differently. It was in the flip flop section (WTH?????). It was not real vivid,,but I definately knew what was happening!! This totally ruins my Mart greeter and flip flop aisle experience as I will now blush when I see Walter and fidget when he hugs me.


Mart will never be the same.

6 Seducing Deductions:

Doug said...

I'm back. Where's the new colour?

Okay, you just ruined the seductress part and you are no longer invisible!!! Why? If your 'Walter' looks like WalMart's other 'Walters'...need I say more?

Organic Meatbag said...

So Walter worked the "old flagstaff" in the dream, huh? That Walter...what a frisky fellow! Hahahaha!

"The Invisible Seductress" said...

Ha--------sigh--------wish it wasn't Walter------and not in the flip flop aisle-----but this is my sad existence---I hafta flow along with it! Laughing---he said flagstaff---snicker!!!!

{{{{{Doug}}}}}}} I did change the color,,still not good??

f1trey said...

hahaha step away from the slippers maam!!!

f1trey said...

I can only laugh at your wallmart description because that is EXACTLY the way it is here!!!

"The Invisible Seductress" said...

You feel my pain huh!!!????? Hey what continent is that in your profile pic anyway?? How many people live there,,its a huge region!!!!!

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