Saturday, October 3, 2009

All I learned about dating, I learned from my daughter

My youngest daughter (we'll call her Dramagirl) is getting made fun of in school for having a beauty mark. This humors me because the same thing happened to me growing up. All through high school I used concealer to hide mine so I wouldn't stand out. It was then that Cindy Crawford hit the scene running and she was uber-fab!! Madonna also was popular and even she had a strange "traveling" beauty mark on her face (WTH?). I thought they were both hot so I finally embraced my unique feature. I even started darkening it in a bit when I was fully made up. It became a trademark of sorts for me as it will for her. My daughter's beauty mark happens to be in the perfect spot next to her mouth. Her dark skin and almond shaped eyes give her a Brazilian look which is getting noticed by her whole football team (yes, she is the bubbly, slightly aloof, quintessential cheerleader). Luckily she hasn't noticed being sought after and is oblivious to the amount of mudboy attention she gets,, YET,,,I think..
I shudder each time these boys run up and stutter and sway as they talk to her. She has started with the multiple boyfriend talk and I have started perfecting alibi stories. You can tell by the name I dubbed her that my daughter is a drama queen. Where she gets it from I don't know but it's developed quite prominently and it both amuses and annoys me to no end. She is also very sensitive and gets her feelings hurt if you look at her wrong. I worry about theses heathens breaking her heart daily. She will be the death of me yet.
At a recent game, 3 boys walked by and fumbled over themselves gawking at her. They were laughing and conversing with "Beavis and Butthead" flair. It may have been inappropriate to shoot them with the paintball gun but whatever. After the game one of them, a little boy named Tanner, ran up and did the patented "Dramagirl sway". He was a rough edged blonde with blue eyes and "trouble" stamped on his forehead. He stood there in full uniform, scoping her right in front of me. I fully expected a well thought of sentence but instead he stammered a "HI!!" and ran. As he escaped, she bee-bopped beside me and I asked her if that was ONE of her BF's. Her answer choked me..."noooo,,not yet.." WHAT THE HALIBUT????!!!!! Not YET????!!!! So now she is actively PLANNING future relationships?? I must have looked funny because she countered me with "what???,,, did you SEEEEEE him????" Sure enough by the next game Tanner was her boyfriend,,he even brought his mom over to meet me (again,,,WHAT???) They blossomed... (it had been a week-- years in tween love life time). I asked Dramagirl what having a boyfriend actually meant,, she said "it means respecting each other" (insert angelic music here and bow to my masterful parenting skills). There were many occasions I overheard her talking to him on the phone saying things like,,,,,,,,"nooooo,,you're MY pumpkin!!".
A few days later there was party and things grew tense. She was all dressed up and was fabulous. The evil jealous bone welled up in Tanners little body. Dramagirl broke up with him that night because she said ..."he kept putting his arm around me and trying to hold my hand!".. Tanner, overwhelmed with hurt, kicked my daughter and hit her in the stomach. My sensitive dramatic daughter did what I never imagined she would do. She turned right around, marched in the room with the adults, found his mother and in front of the room said calmly yet severely "Get your son and take him home, it's OVER!!" (I'm welling up, gimme a second). I was very proud of her, but, this wasn't HER home or HER party so the effect was a tad jaded (but still awesome!). We had to see Tanner on a regular basis after that. He tried to get her back through gifts and many a secret message delivered through her "annoyed by the hassle" older sister. He went on for weeks like this to no avail. I thought she would crack when we spotted him with a new girlfriend but instead she commented on how stupid they looked together and how she hoped she didn't look THAT stupid (I didn't tell her she did). As for me,,,I am secretly jealous that my daughter's love life is better than mine when I pluck, shave, paint and polish myself everyday, and all she does is shake her hair out (sniffle,snort). And I await the next "love" journey, paintball gun cocked and loaded.

5 Seducing Deductions:

Patrice S. said...

hahha, this was quite enticing and u never cease to deliver the humor. For your daughter's sake, I hope none of her friends are following (unless she doesn't mind mom taking about her like this. She is truly a drama girl...Very confident! I love it!!
Something's working in the parenting dept missy. keep it up! ;)

"The Invisible Seductress" said...

thanks chic!!! You made me smile today!!

Dayne Gingrich said...

Love this. Will be following.

When you have a sec., come by and tell me whatcha think.


"The Invisible Seductress" said...

On my way there Dayne!! Thanks for the boost of confidence!!

plainolebob said...

wea are reall lucky when we realize our teachings are bearing the fruit of our lessons, job well done.

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