Monday, October 25, 2010

My first book looked a little like THIS:

I remember as a kid I always knew what I wanted to do with my life. Besides kissing boys and singing, I always loved to write. Going through school I was that kid you hated because she got all giddy and excited when a writing project was given. Whatever it was, I loved the creativity.

In my first year of high school, I was introduced to a Graphic Arts Vocational program, I thrived there. I was able to make anything my heart desired. The teacher wasn't an overly structured teacher, and if you were a cute girl, you got special access to the presses and photography equipment and he gave you free reign (what? No one made out in the dark room!!).

At that time I babysat A LOT! I made business cards to propel me into the riches!! I also printed my first "book" there. It was supposed to be a kid's series of coloring books I could give to the kids I babysat, and the parents would think I was AWESOMESAUCE. I was.

I came up with a creatures named "Fraid-nots", these little guys were to teach kids how to rationalize situations to make them less scary. The first in the series was called: Here comes the Babysitter!! Mind blowing writing was included to get you on the seat of your chair. It was also illustrated by a boy I had a crush on. I tried to bolster my position with him by offering him a book deal. The drawings were strange, but I got to watch him doing them which made it all worth it. So with no further ado,,, I give you:

Here comes the Babysitter!!
By: me
(at age 15 almost 16!)

When my mommy and daddy go somewhere
they always leave me with a babysitter.
It's not that they don't love me, they just want to go
and have fun like we want to do.
(and come back wasted to pay the sitter entirely too much!!)

(this is me shoving dad out the door aren't I a vision??)

I'm one of the little furry creatures called
Fraid-not's. I get babysitters just like you do!!
I don't like it when my mommy leaves me.
I don't like it when my daddy leaves me.
But, I LIKE my babysitter!!
(is this the hook phrase?)

(This kid had cool posters!
And I hold my stomach while we play tic-tac-toe)

(look at my face, I look so happy here!! Is that hay in my mouth??
I must have been into "realistic" pony play back then, is that normal?)

If I ask her to she'll play with me!
Cars, blocks, coloring and reading,
my babysitter will do it all! She even gets
on her hands and knees to be my pony.
(oh that's what was happening, wiping brow)

(gosh, who wouldn't!! She's a special gal that one!!)

(this is the gripping, emotional part of the book, kinda
like when Bambi's mom dies,
or when Nemo is the sole survivor out of 1.053 fish eggs)

I miss my mom. I miss my dad, and I am sad,
but do I cry? I don't cry no way fraid-not!!
(hook phrase alert!! Could THIS be it??)
'Cause when my babysitter comes, we
play a lot!!

(I have no boobs-and a water fountain on my head, but WOW,,
that's a FINE display of funny faces!!!!)

I like to play and make silly faces!!
I like to sing and pretend to go places!!

I like monsters big and mean!!
(huh??? what?? No I don't!!)
I like cartoons and watching T.V.!!
(Yes, maybe, but only MTV 'cause
I can't watch it at my house
and Kip Winger is smokin' hot
and hairy,, just like me in this book!!!)


(really?? Geeze,, switch it up a bit!!)

Sometimes babysitters are short,
But they can be tall.
Some dress REAL nice,
and some dress funny.
They are all different
Just like us!!
(can YOU tell which is which? It's a tricky one I say,,,, tricky...
For bonus points, which one is the pedophile? I vote top left.)

When my babysitter tells me to go to bed
or take a nap, I do it.
(could the babysitter be trying to hypnotize the children?
I didn't put the part about NyQuil and taking your medicine in this book
that comes in the next book "Why am I so sleepy")

I don't cry no way fraid-not,
because my babysitter loves me a lot!!
(two Hook phrases??? GENIUS!!)

She only tells me to do things
that I need to do. She likes me and wants me
to be safe and get enough sleep to grow.
(damn dude, she downgraded you to "like" here,
she used to love you!!????
Now off to bed so she can call boys and raid the fridge!!)

(I look so sweet and concerned here,
look at that gash on his hand!! Is THAT a dog??
And why is it NOT HAIRY???)

When I get hurt my babysitter tells me everything is OK.
(it is, OK, it is ALL OK, drink more purple stuff now!
Your screaming is annoying!)

Sometimes I cry, but my babysitter always
knows makes me feel better!!

(she used to like you too!!)

(aren't they a lovely family with a weird hairless mutant dog!!)

I know that when I wake up my mommy
and daddy will be there.
They will ask me if I had fun with the babysitter
and I will tell them absolutely!!
(because that's what she hypnotized you to say!!)




I even had a cool back cover with rave reviews!!!
Here's how it looked:

Maybe getting a babysitter seems scary and anything but fun,
but this Fraid-not knows how fun it really is!!!
"The Adventure of the Fraid-not's" series
"color-me" books presents:

Here comes the Babysitter!!

"Getting a babysitter never seemed so fun!!"
Innocent Bystander

"Exceptionally written and SUPERBLY illustrated!!"
W Cam-Artist
(dude-YOU ILLUSTRATED THIS, oh...I get it!!)

"Thought provoking with a deep intellectual plot!!"
Cindy Lewis- Airhead
(Ahahahaha-nailed the stuck up chick here!!)

"Wonderfully written, imaginative, purely a pleasure to read!"
Lopez- Graphic artist
(and my bestest friend and worst influence!)

"It was like real,,,,, Well, You know!!"
K Fletcher-Ditzy girl
(slaaaaam-----I did it AGAIN!!! Maybe I was a bit petty,, ya think?
Well, it was High school after all)

"Greatly enjoyable!!!! A good experience for adults and children!!"
J Phelps-Author
(dude- YOU WROTE THIS!!..oh...I get it!!)

"Two thumbs up!!!"
Siskel and Ebert-Movie Critics
(one is dead now I think, but they BOTH loved my book in '86!!)

I hope you enjoyed this little ride with me!!!

Who knew I would get such GREAT reviews!!

I did!!

(Oh,,, I get it!!!)

Now it's your turn to write a review of it!!!

16 Seducing Deductions:

Anonymous said...

I vote bottom right on the pedophile ;)

You must've been a fun babysitter. I had no idea you were so hairy though ;)

The Invisible Seductress said...

D-,,,,Uh that's "OVER-FOLLICULED" if we're being Politically Correct about it!! laughing

Anonymous said...

its all so nice but I also have concerns about the grinch atire.... are you from hooville?

*smiles and kisses*

Copyboy said...

I LOVE IT "'Fraid-nots" is brilliant. I better see that on bookshelves soon. The art also kicks ass. You are truly a renaissance woman.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think you have a blockbuster on your hands!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Sir- Yes they were a little grinchesque..laughing

Copyboy- It was OK for 16----laughing---the boy was cute so the drawing didn't matter ;}

Alex- Yes I am glad my writing skills did not peak at 16!!! laughing..

Heff said...

Damn, girl.

You missed your calling.

The Bipolar Diva said...

you go girl!

Marlene said...

This is a hoot!!! Did you draw all those pages yourself???

Anonymous said...

You are 31 different kinds of Awesomesauce! It's not too late to get a book deal you know! - G

Crunk said...

My review:

A short yet elegant tale aimed at putting your little ones at rest should they find themselves with a new babysitter. The literature more than accomplishes this aim however, the pictures are scary as f*ck! (Forgive the language, I used it as a measure of extreme)

I'm just messing. You certainly are creative IS. Loved it xxx

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Like its author, this book is sparkly awesomesauce to excite any child about getting rid of the parents for a night. Siskel and Ebert knew what they were talking about. This is fabulously creative. It really is!!
PS I missed you. Glad to be back. Love ya, sis!

Ken said...

The book and drawings are so charming and cute! Very nice!

Neurosis said...

Over follicled. I love it. lmao!! I like this. =)

Cdiscreet said...

I love this! Haha Awesome! :D
My goodness, I couldn't stop laughing yet loving how cool it was.

Missed Periods said...

Why do I all of a sudden miss my babysitter? It must have really liked her.

You are awesome.

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