Yes, Porn. I had never seen a porno before. I didn't really feel I was missing anything because I would rather experience sex form myself instead of watching two (or more) fumble at it to bad music, in a room with tacky decor.
What I have seen of various "Oops!! There's a sex tape" of the prettiest in Hollywood, do nothing to arouse me (although Tommie Lee did make me gasp a bit, is he human?).
So, I just sat ignorant (innocently sweet and angelically pure) to the pull porn has on some people. But being on the computer has changed all of that. Porn is readily available to me from my computer chair, and it's free!!
Free I say!!
I can cock my head and try to figure out angles and geometry, and if there were any fascinating tips, maybe I could steal some (although I already know all 101 from EVERY F'n COSMO mag issue).
The couples I see are frolicking freely around in the greenery, the sun gently hits their feathers, displaying a rainbow of prismatic beauty.
Are you confused?
Did you really think I would sit on my computer and look at porn all day? I am shocked at you for the assumption!
This is LIVE ACTION people!!!
Live 100% gritty, jaw dropping, "WTF was that?" questioning, unadulterated sex.
But it just so happens to be bird sex. Yes, I was shocked too because I had never seen birds having sex, have you? I mean we all KNOW they have to have it, somewhere, somehow, but it's just not something that is out there in the public for our viewing (ahem) pleasure(?)..
Seems this little patch of ground right outside of my large computer window alcove can only be compared to a Bird's rendition of the Playboy Mansion's infamously raunchy Grotto!
The grass is high and it is an area with a few raging citrus trees. It is kind of covered around, so I guess to a bird it would seem private. If you are avian in species and need a little afternoon delight, I could see you thinking this is a safe place to partake. Private, except for me.
Seems to be that as far as species, the crows get laid more often than not here in my "private screening room". I can even hear them vocalizing the "activity" here. The corner a few feet from me is ground zero.
I see this 2 to 3 times a week. I never knew.
You don't want to know.
You don't want to know.
Birds do it!!One bird always looks very familiar as he has a funky wing and visits "The Grotto" very often, I have nick-named him "The Situation" (because I really do feel all crows are from Jersey!)
"Snooki" comes here often as well, (that's what I call all the Guido crowettes doin' it up Grotto style).
Apparently ALL crows are DTF. (I didn't know what DTF meant either till I watched ONE episode of Jersey Shore, also, I am afraid I am a grenade and this has effected self worth, I am going to go tan now.....not really......)
Fuggetabout it....no really......forget it!!