Friday, October 22, 2010

The content of this post may not be suitable for young readers, follower discretion is advised.


PORN


Photobucket
Cat's watch it

Yes, Porn. I had never seen a porno before. I didn't really feel I was missing anything because I would rather experience sex form myself instead of watching two (or more) fumble at it to bad music, in a room with tacky decor.

What I have seen of various "Oops!! There's a sex tape" of the prettiest in Hollywood, do nothing to arouse me (although Tommie Lee did make me gasp a bit, is he human?).

So, I just sat ignorant (innocently sweet and angelically pure) to the pull porn has on some people. But being on the computer has changed all of that. Porn is readily available to me from my computer chair, and it's free!!

Free I say!!

I can cock my head and try to figure out angles and geometry, and if there were any fascinating tips, maybe I could steal some (although I already know all 101 from EVERY F'n COSMO mag issue).

The couples I see are frolicking freely around in the greenery, the sun gently hits their feathers, displaying a rainbow of prismatic beauty.

Are you confused?

Did you really think I would sit on my computer and look at porn all day? I am shocked at you for the assumption!

This is LIVE ACTION people!!!

Live 100% gritty, jaw dropping, "WTF was that?" questioning, unadulterated sex.

RAW SEX!

But it just so happens to be bird sex. Yes, I was shocked too because I had never seen birds having sex, have you? I mean we all KNOW they have to have it, somewhere, somehow, but it's just not something that is out there in the public for our viewing (ahem) pleasure(?)..

Seems this little patch of ground right outside of my large computer window alcove can only be compared to a Bird's rendition of the Playboy Mansion's infamously raunchy Grotto!

The grass is high and it is an area with a few raging citrus trees. It is kind of covered around, so I guess to a bird it would seem private. If you are avian in species and need a little afternoon delight, I could see you thinking this is a safe place to partake. Private, except for me.

Seems to be that as far as species, the crows get laid more often than not here in my "private screening room". I can even hear them vocalizing the "activity" here. The corner a few feet from me is ground zero.

I see this 2 to 3 times a week. I never knew.

Who knew?

You don't want to know.

Bird eggs comic Pictures, Images and Photos
Birds do it!!

One bird always looks very familiar as he has a funky wing and visits "The Grotto" very often, I have nick-named him "The Situation" (because I really do feel all crows are from Jersey!)

FIST PUMP!!!!!

"Snooki" comes here often as well, (that's what I call all the Guido crowettes doin' it up Grotto style).

Apparently ALL crows are DTF. (I didn't know what DTF meant either till I watched ONE episode of Jersey Shore, also, I am afraid I am a grenade and this has effected self worth, I am going to go tan now.....not really......)

Fuggetabout it....no really......forget it!!

9 Seducing Deductions:

Sir Thomas said...

tickle tickle....

does this now mean that you have watched the birds for so so long now, that you have a feather fetish? maybe....

So going to sesame street now... do you stare at big bird and wonder.... things...you know.... big furry things maybe...

oh wow we have taken this a bit to far....

you are cracking me up today

Slyde said...

yeah, i dont look at human porn either...

not one bit.

nope.

csmith2884 said...

Porn ..on the computer? Who knew...

Oh and big bird, well he has big feet if ya know what I mean.

TS Hendrik said...

So the old bit of learning about the birds and the bees has some base to it, huh?

mac said...

I saw RAW SEX in big letters and rushed right over.

Ten I wondered, "Are some folks cooking it?".
I mean, if they are, I bet it's good breaded and deep fried !

Dreaming in Digital said...

I have never seen porn either.

Jeff said...

HAHA...now I know where the phrase..."Birds of the same feathers " came from...birdie porn :-) which reminds me there is this cat in my neighborhood that just sits at the edge of our backyard for hours just peering into the tall grass...oh my gosh are you thinking what i am thing?

Crunk said...

Haha! This post made me laugh but then immediately after I screwed my face up a bit, tilted my head to the side a little and was like "whaaaat?!"

denver john said...

Too many erotica/porn authors believe that they are not beholden to the same rule as any other writer, which is that there has to be a beginning, a middle, and an end- a set-up, climax, and denouement, and I'm not just talking about the sex.

Porn

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