This is my hallucination, welcome to it (curtsy, bow). I wonder what "normal" feels like sometimes, but then I think about how much fun I would be lacking and all the funny faces and head cocks I get from random "normal" people I would be missing out on and I embrace insanity once more.
So the strands and I chatted about heat damage, dead ends, frizz and such until they came up with a plan. I was just finishing up on my 80's pouf on top and moving to the wispy rocker chic spikes on the sides, when they interjected.
"Alas fair maiden, please do favor these auburn locks with a request of change on this fine fall day!"
(who knew my follicles were fluent in thespian lingo? I would have guessed they would speak more like Fran Drescher in "The Nanny" sitcom, but OK)
"Dearest hair-o-mine, you have granted me many fine hair days and have enhanced my appearance for so long (except that one high school dance we went to, but that was my fault, who gets a freaking perm on dance day?). I would be honored to grant a wish for you! What will it be, no sticky products today, no heat styling, no teasing (I am sorry I called you lazy but you were very limp and annoying that day)."
"I wish to be feathered like Farah Fawcett in Charlie's Angels!" The ends gasped with excitement.
"Oh my, uh, hair? Do you really think this is a good idea?"
"You'st are, no offense, already caught in the 80's now!!! One decade back shall only enhance your longing and success at NOT being trendy!"
"Now I DO take offense to that! (I stop to spray the CHEAP hairspray as punishment) People love my hair!!! I define TRENDY"
"Emo's and children love your hair (cough, gasp), please honor me with this humble request or I shall have hair troops jump from your head, parachute down and clog your shower pipes!"
So I did. I am feathered like Farrah Fawcett today. I also put on a zippered jumpsuit with padded shoulders and carried my pink paint ball gun to town whilst I ducked behind buildings and under cars protecting people and humming the Charlie's Angels theme song, or maybe it was "Mission Impossible", but whatever.
Tomorrow we have decided to do "Edward Scissorhand's" !!! I have picked out my leathers, buckles and jet black temporary hair color.... If you wake up and your bushes are sprinkled with sparkles and shaped like make-up products or Circus Peanuts, you can come back here and thank me in the comment section.
Oh,,, I gotta go,,,, Jaclyn Smith just called me...we're going to K-mart,, she has a line of clothing there it seems, and I also have a "perp" to handle!!