Saturday, March 26, 2011

I'm too sexy for my toiletries!! So sexy it hurts!!

My son was snooping in my bathroom. This is a crime. Should'nt there be ONE private stock room for a Seductress??

Where will I hide my pleasure captives now??

But he didn't find them hidden there,,, some of them covered in green jello,,, offering straws to partake in the limey goodness,,, and smiles to me on my lonliest nights,,, Some busy studying the complexities of Spam in order to accurately recreate it for me on my every heated whim,,, One holding a loaded Sephora card,,, and the keys to a Prius,,, yet another "rugged" example with a ticket to Alaska in his back pocket ..

Woosh... now that was a close one!!

But,, he did find something else!!

ROCKETS!!

Yes, I keep a few in my cabinet just incase I want to play space man with a captive. But you may know them as Tampons. This is the exchange with my son as it went down.

Names have been changed to accentuate the obvious...

(Crinkling noise and muffled talking down the hall)

Traxx: MOM!!! I thought this was CANDY!!!

Olive Gal: No honey I am sorry, it's not, but little boys who snoop in mommies bathroom get in trouble.

T-man: But I needed a nandaid!!

Beautimus Maximus: Oh,, for what?

(He holds out a flawless finger that in his words was:
" botherin' me ta death")

Trouble: But I found THIS!!! IT'S NOT CANDY!!! IT'S A ...........ROCKET!!!

Sparklehoarder: No honey, its a thing for mommies only, please go put it back now!

(He runs back on cue and I feel like a great leader being followed by her troops......)

(running footsteps echo from down the hall in my direction)

Eating Machine: Uhhhhhhh mom (questioning tone).........I found YOUR diapers....

(Awkward silence as he holds up a sanitary napkin)

Cleopatric look a like: Well son, again that is a mommy item NOT a diaper.

My son: It's a Pamper??!!

Beauty Incarnate: No!! It is NOT it is a grown up thing... for big people only....

(My son looks at the item and the lightbulb flashes above his head, in a knowing manner he blurts out his next great discovery in life)

Cutie: OOOOOOHHHH.....................

it's a.....................................................

...Grown-UP PULL-UP!!

(facepalm)
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6 Seducing Deductions:

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

You keep this up and I'm gonna need Depends.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Well, I suppose there are worse things he could've found hiding in your drawers. So to speak.

mac said...

Yeah, at least he didn't find your missles ;-)

Sir Thomas said...

some of them covered in green jello...

I wish you would cover me in green jello... *winks*

BamaTrav said...

I hate it when my manpons are found.

Ca88andra said...

LOL!!! I must have hidden my "grown up" things well cos I can't remember the boys ever finding them.

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