Friday, March 11, 2011

David Beckham and SPAM...mmmmmmmm

You know, I was thinking. I tend to do that when I least expect it. Of course with my immense intelligence levels, this is a gift and a curse. Maybe that's why I will never fairly win a staring contest, words zip up through my peripheral lobes and force me to question, research or merely ascertain my opponents weaknesses. And then I either burst out into a spitting laughter or flash him to disarm his defenses. The "flash" immobilizes him and he loses focus. Once he's done incorrectly answering the mathematic problems on said flash cards, I have already won.... (what,,,, OH,,,, suki suki now,,, you thought I was flashing my ladylights?? Nah, people never bring beads to a staring contest OR a mathmatical gathering of the minds,,, there would be no reason to flash,,,,, duh!)

OK, so maybe I am not THAT smart, maybe quirky and "off the cuff" could define me.

But you are supposed to be on my side here, so let's move on..

Anyway, I was thinking that I possibly have missed my calling. With these days of YouTube overnight stardom, you have to wonder how many of us have secret talents and skills that would blow someones mind and propel us to instant YouTube fame.

But how exactly does a fellow find out that he can suck a gallon of lemmoncello vodka and fruit infused jello shots up his nostril through a bendy straw while releasing it, pineapple chunks and all, through the other nostril and down 2 flights of stairs in a clear tube that is stragically placed in the mouth of his drunken mowhawked friend???

So it would seem to me that I have a lot of research to do.

You know, figuring out if I can fart the alphabet while wearing a cocktail dress with a Barnie suit underneath and a pug lovingly humping my oversized purple tail..

Or possibly if I can snort food coloring and then sneeze priceless pieces of artwork.

Tonight however, I will be seeing how intriquitely and physilogically detailed I can carve day old SPAM into a 50ft statue of David Beckham with pimentoless green olive details.

Surely that's YouTube -AND-Food Channel Challenge worthy,, wouldn't you agree???

9 Seducing Deductions:

Ca88andra said...

Just the thought of spam carved into David Beckham renders me speechless! Please please please become a freelance comedy writer. The entire world needs to read you!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Cassandra: I send you hugs! And thanks for the smile-one day I hope to make you proud! :) said...

Yes, absolutely. I'm on pins and needles. Send me the link to that Youtube video.
Love ya, sis.

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

You're giving away too much material. There has to be a market for your stuff somewhere.

DCHY said...

Go for it! ;)

Badger said...

I got as far as 'farting the alphabet' before I had to go and have a Calvados on the rocks while quietly contemplate the slinky seductress being lovingly humped by a pug.

The Invisible Seductress said...

:) I love my follower family! You ALWAYS make me smile with your comments!

Anonymous said...

I'd commission one of those food colouring works of art from you. I have a nose for talented artists. - G

Slyde said...

go for it! my star trek video on youtube where i pretend to be captain kirk has a few hundred thousand hits, the last time i checked.

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