Thursday, March 3, 2011

Battles from the confectionary underground...

Battles are everywhere-but those of us with (ahem) an overactive mind, can imagine even the most mundane of inanimate objects could face off in comedic, nonsensical and very EPIC confrontations. I see with my "special" eyes that, thar lays-a-brewing---a war that will change the lives of millions -NAY- billions of people.

I give you:

Battles from the confectionary underground.......

See.....See with your special eyes! (or buy from 1-800-contacts)

(Insert heart poundingly dramatic riff here along with Sean Connery's buttery soft voice for full cinematic blog experience).

IN A WORLD WHERE MARSHMALLOW IS KING.....


AND THE KING...........IS.......

.........A MARSHMALLOW...................................

THERE IS A CONFRONTATION OF EPICALLY EPIC PROPORTIONS

........(said with an epic voice).......

BREWING......... IT IS:

THE BATTLE OF ULTIMATE HOT COCOA SUPREMECY!

... earlier this week the proponents of this battle (regular sized marshmallows and minis) sat around a huge Moonpie table discussing the boundaries of marshmallowy treat branding rights.

If you were a fly on the wall, you would have overheard heated exchanges such as:

"Look minis, you guys OWN the Ambrosia and Watercress fruit salads and reign in Rocky Road type delectables, we DEMAND Hot Chocolate branding or there will be much fluff lost in battle!"

(A squeaky little mini stands up and pounds the Moonpie table top for dramatic effect)

"You got S'mores AND Rice Krispy Treats,, the OTHER ultimate marshmallowy branding prizes!! Let US have the Cocoa rights...



...and we'll let you still be chocolate fondue's favorite bitch!!"

Just then, the smallest of uninvited voices started to speak in unison:

"meeeeeeeeep meeeepity meep meep meep"

Everyone in the room stopped for a moment to acknowledge the littlest and least respected of the marshmallow species----- they were the dehydrated marshmallows ALREADY pre-packaged in cocoa packets world wide. They feel they ALREADY have Hot Chocolate branding ordinance.

They draw a perverbial line in the cocoa (battle).

I will translate, as they speak only in the language of minuteian.

"meep meep meeeeeep meep meeeep meeeep"

"We must stop wishing that we were created by a Leprechaun in many many magical shapes and cherished by children world wide as they seperate us from the blandness of the sweetened corn cereal to enjoy us purely for our wondress offerings----- for that would be the "charmed" life and THIS is our reality!!!"

(Sorry, they get wordy in their inferiority.....)

"meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!"

"This is ALL we have!!! Be of kind heart and allow us; the RIGHTFUL residents of the "marshmallow lovers" package, to have our MEEEEEEEEEEPING glory!!"

Tears filled the room----- but only from the bulbous eyes of the dehydrates.

And with that, the battle lines are drawn. Fancy toothpicks and armour made of that crackle chocolaty ice cream topping will be donned and.....YES.......

There will be much fluff lost in:

THE EPICALLY EPIC ULTIMATE BATTLE OF HOT COCOA SUPREMACY!!


....in theaters this spring.......tip your bloggers!!!! And try the veal!! I'm here all week wakka wakka wakka!!

5 Seducing Deductions:

Andrew Green said...

You may be on to something here....
Does all of this apply to Peeps?

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You're back, you're back, as sparkly and creative and fun as ever! Even moreso. Thanks for coming by. Lots of love to you, my bloggy sis. xo Robyn

Missed Periods said...

Something must be done before too much fluff is shed. Sweet, delicious fluff.

Slyde said...

hot cocoa would definitely kick some ass...

The Invisible Seductress said...

Who won?? :)

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