Saturday, March 19, 2011

Brown Sugar wishes.....

Yesterday I was at a Meet and Greet for work. That's the part of the show when I come out and introduce my rampant amounts of professionality and inteligence to the masses in the hope that they will "buy" it and want to do business with a closet tard.

"So what could possibly go wrong in THIS scenario?" you ask, painfully aware of my unintentional and unrestrained lapses of sanity and sparkle control.

Well YES....... of course I will tell you!

It all started this one time in Band camp when....(insert wavy memory vision waves here....)

WAIT....Wrong story, this is a family blog!

I arrived and started to set up for the event after walking a thousand miles down corridors smattered with offices I knew were filled with the sexy doctors about to be smitten with the wiles of nerdom and clumsiness that are me!

But for now, I had cookies to delicately and artistically arrange, showcasing my intense detail to the unnecessary. After the authentically reproduced, chocolate chip cookie Eiffel Tower show piece complete with lighted detail was perfected, I deduced that I needed a trip to the restroom, so I sauntered down the hall to P&S (potty and sparkle).

I passed an office containing a vision of a man and moonwalked backwards to catch a second look giving him the opportunity to gawk at me should he desire. He didn't, but while shifting into drive, my leg caught the wrath of a bitter metal chair. The chair placed a pinhole run in my panty hose. I spat at the chair and continued to the restroom where in pulling up my once pristeen black panty hose, my hand raped the pinhole run. I now stood, surrounded by the violins of sadness, horrified by the now titanic sized hole in my hose.

"This certainly is NOT the first impression I wanteeeeeed!!", I sang, Broadway style, accentuated with choreographically magical dance moves, complete with imaginary tap shoes.

I knew then that my only option for the day was to slip my arm down the panty hose, stick my hand out the hole, and wave enthusiastically as if all was normal and I was a sexy well put together beast!

...That is until, at lunch, I discovered the hospital's store and the wonders of $1.99 Brown Sugar brand panty be continued.....

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6 Seducing Deductions: said...

This is why I hate panty hose. They always rip as soon as I start the backwards moonwalk to spy a cute boy. I feel your pain.

Kal said...

GRRRRR...I hate having to rewrite a comment that was gold to begin with. It was about how I always get a run in the pantyhose I use to disquise my face when I rob banks. You girls have a whole other set of life problems than I do. Love you and Robyn both.

Anonymous said...

bare flesh is so much better

Anonymous said...

panty hose, although they look good, are just stupid. i look forward to the rest of the story!

Ca88andra said...

I can't remember the last time I wore panty hose! The joys of wearing pants to work. Can't wait for your next instalment.

Marlene said...

Oh you poor girl!!! I laughed through my tears for you!!!

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